[nabs-l] Several Questions...

[Ashley Bramlett via nabs-l]

Kerri,
Sorry to hear you feel down and directionless.
I echo what Anjelina said. You might  try college later.  I have no clue why 
you failed it because its clear you can write and articulate your thoughts 
which is a good study skill. but, maybe you can do it later. Maybe you're 
just not emotionally ready for it.
As Anjelina said, college isn't for everyone and college degrees don't
equal a job in your field of interest. Know what? There is a blind young guy 
on the journalists list; he graduated with a journalism degree from Arizona 
State university.
Well, he does not have a job yet.
He posted this year to the list when he had been out of school nearly a 
year. So, while I'm sure his grades were excellent, with no work experience 
or a network, he had no job. he is looking and I gave him internship  info 
for this area.

So there are many people with liberal arts degrees like journalism that are 
seeking work, especially in this economy.
I assume you're at home and thinking what to do.
Main goal is stay busy! As a college grad with a liberal arts degree, I 
also am career searching and sometimes feel directionless.
I might go for training but when I get back, I'm in the same rutt. No one 
hires without experience; I had some internships, but the federal government
did not give me enough substantive work experience where I did my 
internships. I did one summer at national crime prevention council, ncpc, 
where I did get experience working on an anti bullying campaign. But that 
was the main real job even though it was unpaid.
I say job as I had real responsibilities and really contributed to a 
project.

I suggest four main things. I'll list them so its more organized and not 
rambling so much.
1. I suggest you career explore. You seem  unsure of if sports writing is 
for you. Interviewing is a challenge to begin, it’s a skill itself.
But there's more to it than a good interview.
So job shadow some people; you can conduct informational interviews which 
are structured interviews where you simply ask a person about their job.
Read online about sports writers as well to see their duties.

2. Volunteer in your community. I assume you have little or no work 
experience. Volunteering will not only keep you busy, but it  will get you 
out there contributing to a cause and using job skills. Volunteer anywhere 
there is a need  you feel you can fulfill.
Ideally find something in writing. Nonprofits often have newsletters that 
you might be able to contribute to.
You might also do something like serve food at a homeless shelter or soup 
kitchen. Read to kids at an after school program or even lead an activity 
for kids at a community center if there is one around. You could even lead 
activities or discussions about sports with kids and teens as they love 
that.
This should boost self esteem too.

3. If you continue to feel depressed, seek medical help through a mental 
health counselor. I think this is a good idea to talk through your self 
esteem issues. I don't know your history so do not know where it comes from. 
I have struggles with self esteem too.
But, if you read an earlier post of mine,  you know my mother is not the 
most encouraging one about independence.
She is critical about minor mistakes I make and I struggle with basics of 
appearance. I struggle with keeping my hair combed nicely so it looks okay. 
So, of course, I have low self esteem when I feel such a basic mundane thing 
is so hard. it seems like no matter how careful I am and comb 
systematically, I miss a spot and mom or dad says the hair is  stuck up or 
uncombed in some spot.
I also have low self esteem due to seeing all the barriers and I just wonder 
if I can ever surmount them. Barriers to jobs include inaccessible software, 
employer attitudes, lack of experience, fact that jobs are more fast paced 
and multi tasked based, transportation and social barriers.

4. As for jobs, I'd say something with phone work like customer service is a 
good place to begin.

Now your other questions.
I'll answer them one by one.

So, what minimum wage starting jobs can a blind person do without a degree?
Answer: most blind people without degrees work in customer service areas; 
the call centers.
You can get a job at nib without a college degree.

What was your first job?
Answer:
I did not have  jobs throughout public school years and I doubt you did 
either.
My first job was after my sophmore year of college for a dept of defence 
agency as an intern; I did not do a lot of work though; it was so boring. I 
did research and  some admin tasks. but not enough to fill the day.

What was the first thing you did that gave you real work experience?
Answer:
Considering my jobs amounted to just sitting around and  getting checks from 
the government, I say my first real job was my unpaid internship for NCPC . 
Here I was kept fairly busy and felt accountable as my supervisor checked in 
maybe once a week.
This is what I call real work experience. I did a lot of research to 
identify partner organizations for the anti bullying initiative. I also 
researched books for their online book club they planned to launch.
I also wrote a few blogs. I did more but that's some highlights.

Kerri, with some searching you'll find a good fit.
I suggest a way to find out if you can sports write is to try it.
you cannot simply paraphrase other commentary,  you have  to
make your own spin. So try it and have others critique it if possible. Do 
you have friends that can do this?
Write a sports blog. Once you feel more confident, perhaps submiting 
articles to local news outlets or online local sites like patch.com  will 
help get your name out there.

I know its hard but try to think positive.
It seems like you need structure. try to stay busy and create structure in 
your days. try not to do what I did which was sleep too much and this in 
turn made me feel more lazy and sleepy and also unhappy.

You also said you thrive on consequences. I also bet you thrive on rewards. 
so why not set some goals and when you accomplish the goals, give yourself a 
reward?
This has helped me some. Looking for experience, volunteer or job based, is 
a full time thing til you find it.
So set some goals to do things with a time frame and then at the end of a 
week or two look back and see if you did them.
I find making lists helps. For instance, I might make a list of past 
coworkers to reach out to to  network. This also helps me stay on track.
You need to break things down into manageable small steps with a time frame 
to accomplish them.

Here are some examples I used to find my last unpaid internship which ended 
up in customs and borders.

1. I attended a disability mentoring day over at customs and border patrol.
This goal followed.
Follow up with mentors from event. Remind them of my skill areas and job 
interests.

2. Follow up with coworker from army publishing to find out about jobs or 
internships within her department.
3. Check usajobs for openings.
4. Search for job fairs.
5. Distribute current resume to 3 contacts from past jobs.

If you job search, you could make a list of things to do.
This could include
Set up 3 job search accounts on websites; they email you jobs in your area 
if you set it up that way; like indeed.com or monster.com.
Attend local job fairs.
Network in the community with friends and their friends.
Search for so many jobs per day; such as search for 3 jobs a day on local 
paper websites.

Notice these goals are written with a verb and a specific amount. Do this 
and decide whether you wish to check on your progress weekly or bi weekly.
Don't just say apply to several jobs; write apply to 3 jobs in xxx area of 
interest.

When I looked for internships, I kept track of what nonprofits and company 
websites I reviewed so I wouldn't forget or go back to reread job openings. 
I also kep track of where I sent my resumes and cover letters and the day I 
sent them.

I suggest you do something similar when seeking a job.

I hope this helps and feel free to ask more questions.

Its not easy finding a career path or even an entry level job.
Ashley
-----Original Message----- 
From: Kerri Kosten via nabs-l
Sent: Thursday, May 15, 2014 8:50 PM
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list ; Anjelina Cruz ; 
Arielle Silverman
Subject: [nabs-l] Several Questions...

Hi Everyone:

I don't know what to do so figured I'd write to the list for help.
I tried returning to school last semester but it didn't end up working
out. I tried a lot harder than I would have in the past, and I turned
in most of the assignments on time and all, but I still got a C in one
class and a F in the other class. It was my second time applying to
this college, and I felt fortunate I got readmitted. Now, I believe I
am on academic suspension.
I have several questions and a lot to say.
If school is not going to work for me, I need to find something to do
so was considering trying to find a job. If I were sighted I'd just go
for one of those starter minimum wage jobs such as a waitress or a
bookseller at Barnes and Noble. However, I know being a bookseller at
Barnes and Noble isn't likely since I can't read the print books. I
also know being a waitress isn't likely.
So, what minimum wage starting jobs can a blind person do without a degree?
What was your first job?
What was the first thing you did that gave you real work experience?
I know our local grocery store, Kroger is always accepting
applications. Has anyone ever worked in a  grocery store? Could I be a
bagger or a customer service person at Kroger?
Where is the best place to look for jobs?
To be honest with everyone, I am really sad. I was heartbroken by my
grades. I'm sad that It doesn't look like school is going to work out
for me and I won't get a degree. I've always had a passion for sports,
and have said since I was 15 years old I want to be a sportswriter,
sports reporter, sports caster, or something with sports. I was a
journalism major, figuring journalism would give me a good foundation
in helping me become a better writer and would help my communication
skills.
Please don't judge me too harshly for this, but the problem with me is
I have zero confidence in myself, and I have zero self-esteem. The
other problem with me (and I am ashamed to say this) is that the truth
is I've never really had to work in my entire life. I've always just
been the star without having to really work. I worked when I was in
training, but that was it. I also worked in high school, but again I
was always the star and got huge praise for just turning in and
actually doing the work. Though I again hate to admit this, I believe
deep deep down though I hate this about myself I have engrained all
that praise. I am also a very, very impatient person.
The reason I am saying all of this is because I feel like when
something is a lot of work or it is something that requires a lot of
time, I become so impatient because I just want to finish whatever
work it is, I either don't do the work or I do it but at the very last
minute, hating to do it the whole time, doing it kicking and screaming
(figuratively, not literally.)
I also work best with consequences. In training, I knew if I didn't do
what was required/asked of me I would first disappoint the director
whom I looked up to, I would second disappoint the staff members who I
looked up to, I would likely get kicked out which would mean having to
return home and having to explain to my family and rehab counselor
(who I also look up to) why I got kicked out. That is a lot of
consequences and of course I didn't want to face any of them or see
what would happen. I also wanted to learn the skills to be more
independent for myself so I worked as hard as I could.
But, it seems unless there are consequences, or I am in an environment
where I am forced to do the work I become very lazy and if there is
work (such as for school or something) I dread doing it.
I also admit, I often feel depressed. I am often afraid and will worry
that I will never find my passion or figure anything out and will end
up doing nothing for the rest of my life and will be unable to
contribute to society. This makes me feel helpless and that then sends
me into a negative depression. As I said earlier, I forced myself with
school and got most of the work done I needed to but there were many
nights where I would be so negative and depressed I couldn't focus on
schoolwork and would have to wait until the next day.
Another thing that really brings me down and depresses me is that I
have always been passionate about sports. The thing I have come to
recently realize is that maybe even with sports I've sort of been
tricked. When I was a teenager/younger, and I would talk to people I
always brought up sports. I would say a few things, a few stats and I
was always the star, always "amazing" or whatever. Even now, to
someone who isn't into sports it looks like I really know what I am
talking about. But, being able to say a few things is a lot different
than having to write a whole article. I feel like when there is a big
story going on, I often feel like I should write about it since I
always say I want to be a sportswriter but when I sit down to write I
don't know what to say. I often feel like my thoughts come from what I
read on sites such as ESPN.com or what I hear on ESPNRadio or ESPN
rather than myself forming my own opinion. Even when I listen to
sports talk radio (which I do constantly) I am amazed at how much of
an expert they seem to be. It makes me honestly feel stupid and makes
me really question my wanting to be a sportswriter. This then really
makes me sad.
Another thing that is big in sports journalism but that I admit I have
never really done but that really really freaks me out a lot is
interviewing. I am terrified if I ever have to interview anyone my
questions will be horrible and they'll see right through me.
I just feel that similarly with the rest of my life, it's like
everyone let me go through life just talking and smiling and being all
amazing but when it comes to the real thing I am horrible and have no
idea and though I listen to sports talk radio all the time I probably
don't know nearly as much as I think I do especially in comparison to
sighted males who have studied this stuff their whole lives. Again, I
am just begun to realize all of this and this all makes me so sad and
depressed.
For example, how do you "break down" a game?
Do you take notes during the game, then get the stats from somewhere
online afterwords and write about the game that way?
Is it normal to do a bunch of reading about a certain story from sites
such as Espn, Si (Sports Illustrated), Bleacher Report, FoxSports,
Yahoo Sports, and Cbs Sports and then write a little opinion thing
based on what you have read and your own opinions/knologe?
Sometimes, I even wonder if I really know that much about the games I
listen to. Sure, I know the basics of football and basketball, but
many times when I listen to sports talk radio I feel like I don't
really know the games at all.
This all worries me, makes me feel depressed, and negative and I'm
afraid I'll never figure any of this out and will have to spend the
rest of my life doing nothing and that makes me feel so negative and
depressed.
How can I develop a better self-esteem and have more confidence?
How can I teach myself to think more positively rather than negatively
all the time?
How can I teach myself to be more determined/work harder when I've
never really had to work or really do anything?
Is there someone I could talk to every week or something that could
help me learn to work? Like, maybe give me writing prompts or maybe I
could try writing a sports column/opinion piece for them and they
could look at it? Like, they could help me take baby steps to figure
things out?
I was very motivated in training. Having consequences and looking up
to the staff members and not wanting to disappoint them really drove
me to work hard. Is there something from training I could use to
motivate me? Is there something I'm not thinking of that I could use
to motivate me?
Of course since I've graduated and the staff have understandably moved
onto other students I don't really get to talk to people from the
center much. I understand all of this, but I feel being back here I am
just all by myself and I realize this is part of being an adult but I
really really struggle when it's just me and myself.
I somehow need consequences, or someone on me or something in my mind
to look up/be motivated by. Otherwise, I seem to really get depressed,
negative, and end up failing/not wanting to do anything.
I realize I am an adult, but is there any way to find something to
look up to or is there any way I could have consequences or someone
sort of on me about getting things done?
Am I the only one who works in this way?
I wonder if I would've had someone nagging at me constantly whether I
could have possibly done better in school?
How do you all deal with this?
How do you continuously stay so determined?
For those of you who have had similar childhoods as me where you were
always told you are amazing and were never made to really work how do
you force yourself to work so hard?
I am sorry to post such a long message with so many questions. I don't
know where or who else to post this to. I can't just keep going on,
doing nothing, and just being depressed certain days and then be great
on happy good days.
Thanks,
Kerri

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