[nabs-l] Several Questions...

Fri May 16 19:47:50 UTC 2014

Good afternoon, Shickeytha,

Very, very well said!
for today, Car
408-2209-3239

At 09:56 AM 5/16/2014, Shickeytha Chandler via nabs-l wrote:
>Hi Kerri,
>
>I am sorry to hear you are going through such a difficult time. I am
>sure several people on this list can identify with at least some of
>what you are feeling-I know I can.
>
>First, I would encourage you not to give up on college just yet. I
>grew up in a rural town where I was the only visually impaired student
>in the town/county and I struggled a lot in school, partly because
>there just were not many accommodations or resources for the visually
>impaired. I didn't know what was available or how to ask for it. (How
>do you ask for an accommodation that you do not even know exists?) So
>I ended up getting a GED and starting slowly at a community college. I
>started out by only taking a class or two per semester and I didn't
>have a clue what I wanted to do as a career. Like I said, I had been
>in a very small town and sheltered environment my whole life. After a
>couple of years, I got stronger academically and emotionally and my
>confidence and motivation grew. I began learning more about
>accommodations and technology and about what worked best for me as far
>as study habits, etc. It wasn't an automatic change, but a gradual
>one. I eventually transferred to a university and now have two
>undergraduate degrees and will begin working on a Master's this fall.
>I am not bragging, but my cumulative undergraduate GPA ended up being
>a 3.3, though I either failed or withdrew from some of my classes in
>the early days. So don't give up!
>
>  As for jobs, my first full-time job was for a call center. My second
>and most recent full-time job was with a federal agency in Maryland.
>This turned out to be a job that I was only at for a little over a
>year.
>
>There are a lot of challenges out there for blind and visually
>impaired students and employees, and I have lived through just about
>all of them. But don't be afraid of the challenges. Don't be afraid of
>failing. Your experiences will make you stronger and each step will
>move you closer and closer to your goals, even if things don't always
>turn out the way you hope or plan for them to turn out. You will
>always be learning more about your skills and interests, and sometimes
>you might feel discouraged when you realize maybe you aren't as good
>at something as you originally thought you would be. But don't let
>that get you down. You will also discover things that you are good at
>and strengths you didn't even know you had.
>
>While you certainly want to consider the opinions of sighted people
>regarding your skills and abilities, don't let what they say be your
>gage. Sighted people often have no clue what visually impaired people
>are capable of and have very low expectations. So you often will not
>get many votes of confidence from them. (Or else you will get a lot of
>empty praise, as you mentioned.) But just develop that confidence deep
>within yourself that you are a valuable person with unique strengths
>and abilities, and the fact that you are visually impaired cannot
>change that!
>
>Best,
>
>Shickeytha
>
>
>
>On 5/16/14, James Hulme via nabs-l <nabs-l at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> > Hello Kerri Kosten of West Virginia,
> >
> >
> >
> > I am sorry but I might know of a better solution. I am in New Jersey and
> > received some sort of therapy  for depression before. If WVU allows you to
> > switch majors you might want to pick up a few basic courses in
> > Communications if you seem to think college doesn't work for you. If you
> > want I am welcome to answer any of your questions off-list. Can I please
> > ask what is your e-mail address or mobile number or home number?? How would
> > you best like to be contacted off list?
> >
> >
> > It looks like Carruth Counseling is for WVU students only (304-293-4431)
> > and you def. WANT GROUP THERAPY otherwise I found two other places within
> > Morgantown, WV that you could go to.  Please feel free to e-mail me at
> > jim.hulme at gmail.com
> >
> >
> > I look forward to trying to assist you. Please answer me back either here
> > or off-list at jim.hulme at gmail.com
> >
> > Have a great day!!!
> >
> >
> >
> > On Thu, May 15, 2014 at 8:50 PM, Kerri Kosten via nabs-l
> > <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>wrote:
> >
> >> Hi Everyone:
> >>
> >> I don't know what to do so figured I'd write to the list for help.
> >> I tried returning to school last semester but it didn't end up working
> >> out. I tried a lot harder than I would have in the past, and I turned
> >> in most of the assignments on time and all, but I still got a C in one
> >> class and a F in the other class. It was my second time applying to
> >> this college, and I felt fortunate I got readmitted. Now, I believe I
> >> am on academic suspension.
> >> I have several questions and a lot to say.
> >> If school is not going to work for me, I need to find something to do
> >> so was considering trying to find a job. If I were sighted I'd just go
> >> for one of those starter minimum wage jobs such as a waitress or a
> >> bookseller at Barnes and Noble. However, I know being a bookseller at
> >> Barnes and Noble isn't likely since I can't read the print books. I
> >> also know being a waitress isn't likely.
> >> So, what minimum wage starting jobs can a blind person do without a
> >> degree?
> >> What was your first job?
> >> What was the first thing you did that gave you real work experience?
> >> I know our local grocery store, Kroger is always accepting
> >> applications. Has anyone ever worked in a  grocery store? Could I be a
> >> bagger or a customer service person at Kroger?
> >> Where is the best place to look for jobs?
> >> To be honest with everyone, I am really sad. I was heartbroken by my
> >> grades. I'm sad that It doesn't look like school is going to work out
> >> for me and I won't get a degree. I've always had a passion for sports,
> >> and have said since I was 15 years old I want to be a sportswriter,
> >> sports reporter, sports caster, or something with sports. I was a
> >> journalism major, figuring journalism would give me a good foundation
> >> in helping me become a better writer and would help my communication
> >> skills.
> >> Please don't judge me too harshly for this, but the problem with me is
> >> I have zero confidence in myself, and I have zero self-esteem. The
> >> other problem with me (and I am ashamed to say this) is that the truth
> >> is I've never really had to work in my entire life. I've always just
> >> been the star without having to really work. I worked when I was in
> >> training, but that was it. I also worked in high school, but again I
> >> was always the star and got huge praise for just turning in and
> >> actually doing the work. Though I again hate to admit this, I believe
> >> deep deep down though I hate this about myself I have engrained all
> >> that praise. I am also a very, very impatient person.
> >> The reason I am saying all of this is because I feel like when
> >> something is a lot of work or it is something that requires a lot of
> >> time, I become so impatient because I just want to finish whatever
> >> work it is, I either don't do the work or I do it but at the very last
> >> minute, hating to do it the whole time, doing it kicking and screaming
> >> (figuratively, not literally.)
> >> I also work best with consequences. In training, I knew if I didn't do
> >> what was required/asked of me I would first disappoint the director
> >> whom I looked up to, I would second disappoint the staff members who I
> >> looked up to, I would likely get kicked out which would mean having to
> >> return home and having to explain to my family and rehab counselor
> >> (who I also look up to) why I got kicked out. That is a lot of
> >> consequences and of course I didn't want to face any of them or see
> >> what would happen. I also wanted to learn the skills to be more
> >> independent for myself so I worked as hard as I could.
> >> But, it seems unless there are consequences, or I am in an environment
> >> where I am forced to do the work I become very lazy and if there is
> >> work (such as for school or something) I dread doing it.
> >> I also admit, I often feel depressed. I am often afraid and will worry
> >> that I will never find my passion or figure anything out and will end
> >> up doing nothing for the rest of my life and will be unable to
> >> contribute to society. This makes me feel helpless and that then sends
> >> me into a negative depression. As I said earlier, I forced myself with
> >> school and got most of the work done I needed to but there were many
> >> nights where I would be so negative and depressed I couldn't focus on
> >> schoolwork and would have to wait until the next day.
> >> Another thing that really brings me down and depresses me is that I
> >> have always been passionate about sports. The thing I have come to
> >> recently realize is that maybe even with sports I've sort of been
> >> tricked. When I was a teenager/younger, and I would talk to people I
> >> always brought up sports. I would say a few things, a few stats and I
> >> was always the star, always "amazing" or whatever. Even now, to
> >> someone who isn't into sports it looks like I really know what I am
> >> talking about. But, being able to say a few things is a lot different
> >> than having to write a whole article. I feel like when there is a big
> >> story going on, I often feel like I should write about it since I
> >> always say I want to be a sportswriter but when I sit down to write I
> >> don't know what to say. I often feel like my thoughts come from what I
> >> read on sites such as ESPN.com or what I hear on ESPNRadio or ESPN
> >> rather than myself forming my own opinion. Even when I listen to
> >> sports talk radio (which I do constantly) I am amazed at how much of
> >> an expert they seem to be. It makes me honestly feel stupid and makes
> >> me really question my wanting to be a sportswriter. This then really
> >> makes me sad.
> >> Another thing that is big in sports journalism but that I admit I have
> >> never really done but that really really freaks me out a lot is
> >> interviewing. I am terrified if I ever have to interview anyone my
> >> questions will be horrible and they'll see right through me.
> >> I just feel that similarly with the rest of my life, it's like
> >> everyone let me go through life just talking and smiling and being all
> >> amazing but when it comes to the real thing I am horrible and have no
> >> idea and though I listen to sports talk radio all the time I probably
> >> don't know nearly as much as I think I do especially in comparison to
> >> sighted males who have studied this stuff their whole lives. Again, I
> >> am just begun to realize all of this and this all makes me so sad and
> >> depressed.
> >> For example, how do you "break down" a game?
> >> Do you take notes during the game, then get the stats from somewhere
> >> online afterwords and write about the game that way?
> >> Is it normal to do a bunch of reading about a certain story from sites
> >> such as Espn, Si (Sports Illustrated), Bleacher Report, FoxSports,
> >> Yahoo Sports, and Cbs Sports and then write a little opinion thing
> >> based on what you have read and your own opinions/knologe?
> >> Sometimes, I even wonder if I really know that much about the games I
> >> listen to. Sure, I know the basics of football and basketball, but
> >> many times when I listen to sports talk radio I feel like I don't
> >> really know the games at all.
> >> This all worries me, makes me feel depressed, and negative and I'm
> >> afraid I'll never figure any of this out and will have to spend the
> >> rest of my life doing nothing and that makes me feel so negative and
> >> depressed.
> >> How can I develop a better self-esteem and have more confidence?
> >> How can I teach myself to think more positively rather than negatively
> >> all the time?
> >> How can I teach myself to be more determined/work harder when I've
> >> never really had to work or really do anything?
> >> Is there someone I could talk to every week or something that could
> >> help me learn to work? Like, maybe give me writing prompts or maybe I
> >> could try writing a sports column/opinion piece for them and they
> >> could look at it? Like, they could help me take baby steps to figure
> >> things out?
> >> I was very motivated in training. Having consequences and looking up
> >> to the staff members and not wanting to disappoint them really drove
> >> me to work hard. Is there something from training I could use to
> >> motivate me? Is there something I'm not thinking of that I could use
> >> to motivate me?
> >> Of course since I've graduated and the staff have understandably moved
> >> onto other students I don't really get to talk to people from the
> >> center much. I understand all of this, but I feel being back here I am
> >> just all by myself and I realize this is part of being an adult but I
> >> really really struggle when it's just me and myself.
> >> I somehow need consequences, or someone on me or something in my mind
> >> to look up/be motivated by. Otherwise, I seem to really get depressed,
> >> negative, and end up failing/not wanting to do anything.
> >> I realize I am an adult, but is there any way to find something to
> >> look up to or is there any way I could have consequences or someone
> >> sort of on me about getting things done?
> >> Am I the only one who works in this way?
> >> I wonder if I would've had someone nagging at me constantly whether I
> >> could have possibly done better in school?
> >> How do you all deal with this?
> >> How do you continuously stay so determined?
> >> For those of you who have had similar childhoods as me where you were
> >> always told you are amazing and were never made to really work how do
> >> you force yourself to work so hard?
> >> I am sorry to post such a long message with so many questions. I don't
> >> know where or who else to post this to. I can't just keep going on,
> >> doing nothing, and just being depressed certain days and then be great
> >> on happy good days.
> >> Thanks,
> >> Kerri
> >>
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> >>
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