[nabs-l] dealing with parents in a personal decision setting

[Kaiti Shelton]

Well said.  And, I'd add that if you haven't been away for an extended
period of time more than once or twice, this summer would be a great
time to do it.  If your parents see you stay away from home for an
extended time with no problem in the summer, then when you return home
fine college won't be so scary to them.



On 11/13/14, Joe via nabs-l <nabs-l at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> Jorge,
>
> These are just some suggestions you may consider:
>
> First, let them know you're considering a distant campus and that you're
> planning on applying, just to see what'll happen. This lets them know your
> intentions but also points out that you're just applying. If you don't get
> accepted, then there's no harm, but it'll plant the seed so they won't get
> caught off guard later when you are in fact admitted to the school. Think
> positive, right?
>
> Second, do all the research you can to figure out logistics. Research
> things
> like housing, school and public transportation, courses, etc. Basically you
> ought to be able to anticipate their questions and have a tentative plan
> laid out. There are things you won't be able to do from home, but let them
> know you've given this a lot of thought and have meticulously planned out
> ways to be independent.
>
> Third, if at all possible, take a tour of the campus. Often times it's the
> unknown that drives parents a little crazy. If they can see where you're
> hoping to study, they might feel better, and it'll give them an opportunity
> to ask questions. Maybe even, curse me for suggesting this, meet with the
> campus disability service. That approach could go really well or really
> bad.
> Hopefully it'll fall somewhere in the middle, but if you do take that
> route,
> it might make them feel even more comfortable.
>
> Ultimately though, probably one of the best things you can do is start
> being
> proactive about your independence now. My parents had no beef with my going
> away for school because they'd grown used to me going away for camps or
> extended field trips and the like.
>
> Mind you, I'm assuming you're still in high school. If not, as in if you're
> an adult, you sort of get to a point where you say "I'm leaving, and umm,
> that's that." I know it sounds a little trite, but sometimes it's the
> parents who have a harder time letting go, and I think this has more to do
> with parenting by nature than anything to do with blindness, though
> blindness certainly adds another level of stress for them.
>
>
> Best of luck to you, and if they still need convincing, look me up
> off-line.
> I'll call, talk to them, give them another perspective on helping them know
> Jorge really is going to be fine on his own. Take it easy.
>
> Joe
> --
> Musings of a Work in Progress:
> www.JoeOrozco.com/
>
> Twitter: @ScribblingJoe
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Jorge Paez via
> nabs-l
> Sent: Thursday, November 13, 2014 4:50 PM
> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
> Subject: [nabs-l] dealing with parrents in a personal decision setting
>
> Hi Nabs:
> So, I was wondering something.
> So, I've come to a decision on which I'm going to choose something that my
> parents aren't comfortable with.
> This applies on several personal fronts, but the one relevant to this list
> is my desire to go away from home for college.
> How do you deal with your parents in this topic?
> Because I know I can do it, and my parents generally know as well, but feel
> extremely uncomfortable.
> I'm their only blind son--I'm actually the only one who's blind in all my
> family, so I don't know if their uncomfortable because of usual non-sight
> related stuff or specificallybecause of my blindness.
> Either way, how do you deal with this?
> I've made up my mind, so its not a point of choosing, as much as telling
> them my choice and making them feel like they've at least had a chance to
> talk to me, and that they understand, not necessarily agree with, my
> decision.
> Basically, I want to make sure this doesn't end up with anyone feeling like
> theey were left out of the conversation.
> If you have any suggestions feel free to write me.
>
> Thanks,
>
> Jorge
>
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-- 
Kaiti