[nabs-l] When NFB philosophy doesn't seem to work... advice?

Wed Oct 15 16:19:27 UTC 2014

  Definitely wanting attention from someone no matter what it takes is 
my diagnosis. What to do? ignore ignore ignore

El 15/10/2014 06:53 a.m., Carly Mihalakis via nabs-l escribió:
> Good morning, "Davie,
>
>         Just wanted, I think again, to tell you if yiou wanna talk 
> about some of your sexual/romantic inconsistancies, as well as any 
> experience or lack there of I, too, have some unevenness in that area 
> and if you feel it, would like to air it, I'm here?
> If you want, you can write me or you can call 408-209-3239
> for today, CarAt 05:35 PM 12/27/2013, you wrote:
>> Hi Beth.  One of the things that happened with me is during high 
>> school and
>> stuff I never dated.  I never went to the prom or anything so I kind 
>> of knew
>> how to deal with firls but not totally.  I've got sort of some weird 
>> stuff
>> going on when it comes to sexual stuff  and all.  If you want you can 
>> email
>> me off list because I don't want to post it  and I don't want the 
>> whole list
>> to know.  Feel free to mail me or skype me if you want to talk more.
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Beth 
>> Taurasi
>> Sent: Friday, December 27, 2013 4:30 PM
>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] When NFB philosophy doesn't seem to work... 
>> advice?
>>
>> Blocking is the only way to get a harasser off the phone, but there's
>> something that blind people most often do not learn.  We are not often
>> taught the proper way to deal with sexual advances nor are girls, in 
>> this
>> case your case, taught to call boys.  My mother had an archaic view of
>> girls, the sweet, quiet, shy kind.  Well, I've got bad news for all 
>> of us:
>> Blake calls me online every day, but I call Blake on some occasions.  We
>> have a balance of who calls whom, and Blake is aware of my problems.
>> Perhaps the parents of the girl did not learn what the girl might 
>> have.  She
>> could be mentally unstable, mentally unable to deal with the 
>> advancement of
>> others. She could also be creeping your friend out because she didn't 
>> learn
>> the proper way to deal with boys.
>> As for you, she's probably using you, Kaiti, to get to the boy.  Please
>> email me off list.  I have some tales to tell you about myself and what
>> happened.  Do you have Skype?  I can give you that.
>> Sincerely,
>> Beth Taurasi
>> NFB of Denver/Mile High Chapter,
>> Denver, Colorado
>> Skype ID: denverqueen0920
>>
>> On 12/27/2013 3:29 PM, Kaiti Shelton wrote:
>> > Hi all,
>> >
>> > I have quite the puzzling situation on my hands, and I am not quite >
>> sure how to handle it.  Thoughts?
>> >
>> > Almost four years ago my mom and I went to this 3 day seminar for >
>> students in the state voc rehab program with visual impairments.
>> > This Friday evening to Sunday morning seminar was designed to show >
>> students and parents from around the state different employment > 
>> options
>> that were available, ranging from vending and call center > jobs to 
>> taking
>> the college route to get a degree in a two or four > year program.  A
>> friend of mine and I, who lived close to each other,
>> > were hanging out early on.   All of a sudden, this other girl was
>> > hanging all over him and would not give him his personal space.  It >
>> was very odd, considering that this was a very short period of time > in
>> which this all happened.  Less than 24 hours after the students > had 
>> met,
>> my friend was so creeped out by the almost constant and > unwanted
>> attention that he began to avoid this girl.  Other students, > seeing 
>> how
>> creeped out he was and some creeped out themselves due to > the same 
>> thing,
>> ended up following suit.
>> >
>> > I was sixteen at the time, and could feel for my friend.  The girl 
>> > was
>> very much in my face a lot of the time too, but I was a bit more > 
>> patient
>> with her throughout the weekend.  She seemed to be worse > with the guys
>> than the girls too, so I had a little more space than > my friend.
>> >
>> > About 3 months after the program in the summertime, she started >
>> calling my house.  The parents at the program were given a list of > the
>> other parents who attended, along with their phone numbers, so > they 
>> could
>> swap resources if they so chose.  This girl got the list > from her
>> parents, and was using it to call me and my friend, possibly > other
>> students as well although I am not sure.  The calls started off > being
>> about once every so often, then increased.  She was a very odd > 
>> girl, and
>> liked to complain and cry about her problems to me and my > friend. 
>> There
>> was nothing social about the calls, just complaining > and 
>> negativity, and
>> mumbling which was really weird.  He quit talking > to her much 
>> sooner than
>> I did because I tried to get her to see that > being visually impaired,
>> (she didn't like the word blind since she > was a large print reader, 
>> and
>> kind of used that to elivate herself > above other people), was not the
>> worst thing in the world. She would > cry and complain, and even tell 
>> me I
>> didn't understand how bad > things were, when her descriptions of things
>> made it sound like she > was very overdramatic.  I decided at the end 
>> of my
>> junior year, a > year after the calls started coming, that I didn't 
>> want to
>> talk to a > downer, and that I wasn't going to be able to convince 
>> her that
>> > blindness didn't mean the end of the world.
>> >
>> > The girl continued to call.  My senior year was very busy with >
>> activities and preparing for college.  I would come home from > marching
>> band practices to find my siblings quite frustrated because > the 
>> girl had
>> kept calling, sometimes as much as 5 or 6 times in a > span of a few 
>> hours.
>> They didn't want to answer the phone because > whenever someone told 
>> her I
>> wasn't home she would instantly get teary > and mumble things to 
>> herself,
>> and it was very weird, but they didn't > want her to continue calling
>> either.  I remember one night over > Christmas break of that year, she
>> called and when I told her I was > getting ready to leave the house, 
>> which
>> I was to go pick up someone > coming in from out of town for the 
>> holidays
>> with my family, she got > angry and wanted me to give her my cell phone
>> number.  I told her > that I didn't want to give it out, and she 
>> started to
>> get upset.
>> > Then I really had to go, and there was the characteristic mumbling.
>> >
>> > My parents have told me that for the past year and a half that I've >
>> been in college that the girl has continued to call.  My mom has > 
>> told her
>> that I live at school and do not come home much multiple > times. My
>> younger siblings, in frustration, have told her that I've > moved 
>> away and
>> have begun making up different things to tell her to > try to discourage
>> her from calling.  She continues to call, and > around Christmas it is
>> always terrible.  A few nights ago she called > when my parents were 
>> asleep
>> a little after  11:00 at night, and has > apparently called and left
>> messages late at night before.  My parents > have to get up very 
>> early for
>> work, so In order to stop the ringing > and to prevent a message from
>> playing over the machine I had to > answer.  Everything was exactly the
>> same.  I was heading to bed > myself, so I told her that I was asleep 
>> when
>> she asked for me.  The > fact that she had called at such a late hour
>> didn't seem to phase > her, there was just the mumbling and usual stuff
>> coming over the > line.
>> >
>> > I don't quite know what to do.  I've tried to be positive with her 
>> > and
>> that hasn't worked.  My family has told her that I no longer live > 
>> at home
>> and am away at school among other things in frustration, but > nothing
>> seems to phase her.  I know she still calls my friend's > house as well,
>> even though he does not live at home any more either.
>> > I don't quite know what to do about this.  I barely know her and she >
>> barely knows me, and in spite of this I have tried to help her with > no
>> success.  My parents and siblings have said that we should just > 
>> block her
>> calls, but I have hesitated in doing this while I was in > high school
>> because I didn't want to be mean, and then I honestly > forgot about her
>> for the most part while I was at school last year > and last semester
>> because I can't get calls from her there. After > the call a few nights
>> ago, I don't really know what to think.  I am > slightly creeped out 
>> that
>> even after my parents have told her I am > not home for the past year 
>> and a
>> half that the calls are still > coming.  What do you think I should do?
>> >
>> > -- Kaiti
>> >
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-- 
Enviado desde mi lap
Gerardo J Corripio Flores Psicólogo, Terapéuta Reiki
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