[nabs-l] When NFB philosophy doesn't seem to work... advice?

Wed Oct 15 16:25:47 UTC 2014

Hi all:
 It seems as if this thread has long ago run it’s course.
 Would it be possible to contact the person you would really like to talk with off-list? I’m thinking we ought to put this one to rest for good.
  Thanks,
  Darian 
On Oct 15, 2014, at 9:19 AM, Gerardo Corripio via nabs-l <nabs-l at nfbnet.org> wrote:

> Definitely wanting attention from someone no matter what it takes is my diagnosis. What to do? ignore ignore ignore
> 
> El 15/10/2014 06:53 a.m., Carly Mihalakis via nabs-l escribió:
>> Good morning, "Davie,
>> 
>>        Just wanted, I think again, to tell you if yiou wanna talk about some of your sexual/romantic inconsistancies, as well as any experience or lack there of I, too, have some unevenness in that area and if you feel it, would like to air it, I'm here?
>> If you want, you can write me or you can call 408-209-3239
>> for today, CarAt 05:35 PM 12/27/2013, you wrote:
>>> Hi Beth.  One of the things that happened with me is during high school and
>>> stuff I never dated.  I never went to the prom or anything so I kind of knew
>>> how to deal with firls but not totally.  I've got sort of some weird stuff
>>> going on when it comes to sexual stuff  and all.  If you want you can email
>>> me off list because I don't want to post it  and I don't want the whole list
>>> to know.  Feel free to mail me or skype me if you want to talk more.
>>> 
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Beth Taurasi
>>> Sent: Friday, December 27, 2013 4:30 PM
>>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] When NFB philosophy doesn't seem to work... advice?
>>> 
>>> Blocking is the only way to get a harasser off the phone, but there's
>>> something that blind people most often do not learn.  We are not often
>>> taught the proper way to deal with sexual advances nor are girls, in this
>>> case your case, taught to call boys.  My mother had an archaic view of
>>> girls, the sweet, quiet, shy kind.  Well, I've got bad news for all of us:
>>> Blake calls me online every day, but I call Blake on some occasions.  We
>>> have a balance of who calls whom, and Blake is aware of my problems.
>>> Perhaps the parents of the girl did not learn what the girl might have.  She
>>> could be mentally unstable, mentally unable to deal with the advancement of
>>> others. She could also be creeping your friend out because she didn't learn
>>> the proper way to deal with boys.
>>> As for you, she's probably using you, Kaiti, to get to the boy.  Please
>>> email me off list.  I have some tales to tell you about myself and what
>>> happened.  Do you have Skype?  I can give you that.
>>> Sincerely,
>>> Beth Taurasi
>>> NFB of Denver/Mile High Chapter,
>>> Denver, Colorado
>>> Skype ID: denverqueen0920
>>> 
>>> On 12/27/2013 3:29 PM, Kaiti Shelton wrote:
>>> > Hi all,
>>> >
>>> > I have quite the puzzling situation on my hands, and I am not quite >
>>> sure how to handle it.  Thoughts?
>>> >
>>> > Almost four years ago my mom and I went to this 3 day seminar for >
>>> students in the state voc rehab program with visual impairments.
>>> > This Friday evening to Sunday morning seminar was designed to show >
>>> students and parents from around the state different employment > options
>>> that were available, ranging from vending and call center > jobs to taking
>>> the college route to get a degree in a two or four > year program.  A
>>> friend of mine and I, who lived close to each other,
>>> > were hanging out early on.   All of a sudden, this other girl was
>>> > hanging all over him and would not give him his personal space.  It >
>>> was very odd, considering that this was a very short period of time > in
>>> which this all happened.  Less than 24 hours after the students > had met,
>>> my friend was so creeped out by the almost constant and > unwanted
>>> attention that he began to avoid this girl.  Other students, > seeing how
>>> creeped out he was and some creeped out themselves due to > the same thing,
>>> ended up following suit.
>>> >
>>> > I was sixteen at the time, and could feel for my friend.  The girl > was
>>> very much in my face a lot of the time too, but I was a bit more > patient
>>> with her throughout the weekend.  She seemed to be worse > with the guys
>>> than the girls too, so I had a little more space than > my friend.
>>> >
>>> > About 3 months after the program in the summertime, she started >
>>> calling my house.  The parents at the program were given a list of > the
>>> other parents who attended, along with their phone numbers, so > they could
>>> swap resources if they so chose.  This girl got the list > from her
>>> parents, and was using it to call me and my friend, possibly > other
>>> students as well although I am not sure.  The calls started off > being
>>> about once every so often, then increased.  She was a very odd > girl, and
>>> liked to complain and cry about her problems to me and my > friend. There
>>> was nothing social about the calls, just complaining > and negativity, and
>>> mumbling which was really weird.  He quit talking > to her much sooner than
>>> I did because I tried to get her to see that > being visually impaired,
>>> (she didn't like the word blind since she > was a large print reader, and
>>> kind of used that to elivate herself > above other people), was not the
>>> worst thing in the world. She would > cry and complain, and even tell me I
>>> didn't understand how bad > things were, when her descriptions of things
>>> made it sound like she > was very overdramatic.  I decided at the end of my
>>> junior year, a > year after the calls started coming, that I didn't want to
>>> talk to a > downer, and that I wasn't going to be able to convince her that
>>> > blindness didn't mean the end of the world.
>>> >
>>> > The girl continued to call.  My senior year was very busy with >
>>> activities and preparing for college.  I would come home from > marching
>>> band practices to find my siblings quite frustrated because > the girl had
>>> kept calling, sometimes as much as 5 or 6 times in a > span of a few hours.
>>> They didn't want to answer the phone because > whenever someone told her I
>>> wasn't home she would instantly get teary > and mumble things to herself,
>>> and it was very weird, but they didn't > want her to continue calling
>>> either.  I remember one night over > Christmas break of that year, she
>>> called and when I told her I was > getting ready to leave the house, which
>>> I was to go pick up someone > coming in from out of town for the holidays
>>> with my family, she got > angry and wanted me to give her my cell phone
>>> number.  I told her > that I didn't want to give it out, and she started to
>>> get upset.
>>> > Then I really had to go, and there was the characteristic mumbling.
>>> >
>>> > My parents have told me that for the past year and a half that I've >
>>> been in college that the girl has continued to call.  My mom has > told her
>>> that I live at school and do not come home much multiple > times. My
>>> younger siblings, in frustration, have told her that I've > moved away and
>>> have begun making up different things to tell her to > try to discourage
>>> her from calling.  She continues to call, and > around Christmas it is
>>> always terrible.  A few nights ago she called > when my parents were asleep
>>> a little after  11:00 at night, and has > apparently called and left
>>> messages late at night before.  My parents > have to get up very early for
>>> work, so In order to stop the ringing > and to prevent a message from
>>> playing over the machine I had to > answer.  Everything was exactly the
>>> same.  I was heading to bed > myself, so I told her that I was asleep when
>>> she asked for me.  The > fact that she had called at such a late hour
>>> didn't seem to phase > her, there was just the mumbling and usual stuff
>>> coming over the > line.
>>> >
>>> > I don't quite know what to do.  I've tried to be positive with her > and
>>> that hasn't worked.  My family has told her that I no longer live > at home
>>> and am away at school among other things in frustration, but > nothing
>>> seems to phase her.  I know she still calls my friend's > house as well,
>>> even though he does not live at home any more either.
>>> > I don't quite know what to do about this.  I barely know her and she >
>>> barely knows me, and in spite of this I have tried to help her with > no
>>> success.  My parents and siblings have said that we should just > block her
>>> calls, but I have hesitated in doing this while I was in > high school
>>> because I didn't want to be mean, and then I honestly > forgot about her
>>> for the most part while I was at school last year > and last semester
>>> because I can't get calls from her there. After > the call a few nights
>>> ago, I don't really know what to think.  I am > slightly creeped out that
>>> even after my parents have told her I am > not home for the past year and a
>>> half that the calls are still > coming.  What do you think I should do?
>>> >
>>> > -- Kaiti
>>> >
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>> 
>> 
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> 
> -- 
> Enviado desde mi lap
> Gerardo J Corripio Flores Psicólogo, Terapéuta Reiki
> Saludos desde Tampico, Tamaulipas México
> RompiendoBarreras espacio de psicología/Superación Personal Sábados 10PM México http://radiogeneral.com ¡los esperamos!
> 
> 
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