[nabs-l] Blindness and body contact

[Desiree Oudinot]

Hi all,
Yes, this has happened to me quite a few times as well. I remember one
particular incident, when I went to a friend of my parents' wedding
reception. I was walking around, meeting some of the family, and an
elderly woman started touching me as I was introduced to her. I
reached out to shake her hand once we were introduced, and she kept
holding onto it for like 5 minutes. Then, when I was trying to gently
pull away, she simply stepped to the side and put her arm around me.
You know, I'm at least glad it wasn't a sloppy drunk man or something,
but I don't like physical contact very much myself, unless it's from
close family or friends. So even when it was from a relatively
harmless person, the whole thing made me feel stressed and
uncomfortable, and ruined what otherwise might have been a pleasant
conversation.
I also have distant relatives who do this, people I rarely see. While
this is a bit different because they're related to me, I know that
they're not as affectionate with other family members, even those they
haven't seen in a long time.
When people do this to me, and I could be wrong about this, but it is
my knee-jerk reaction only, it makes me feel as though the sighted
person is worried that I'm so helpless that I might blow away or
something. It makes me feel as though they are anchoring me. Because,
usually, the same people who do this are the same who are extremely
anxious because I'm not sitting down. They act appalled when I say
that I'm fine standing.

On 10/15/14, Arielle Silverman via nabs-l <nabs-l at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> Hi all,
> So the feeling faces thread reminded me of something and I'm curious
> what your experiences are with this kind of thing. My sister got
> married last weekend and I gave a toast at her rehearsal dinner and a
> short reading during the ceremony. At the cocktail reception a woman
> approached me and introduced herself as the aunt of my sister's new
> husband. She then went on for a while about how beautiful my speeches
> were. The entire time she had her arm kind of around the side of my
> back and was stroking my shoulder. It made me a bit uncomfortable
> because we had just met and I am not a very touchy-feely person except
> with very close family and friends. This is also not the firsttime
> people I don't know, or barely know, have interacted with me in this
> way. I have always wondered if the touching is somehow because of my
> blindness and if so, why do people feel driven to be so physically
> affectionate with me? Or, is this a typical way people interact, and
> being blind my whole life, I just haven't noticed how other people
> physically interact during conversation? If you guys have experienced
> this sort of thing, how do you usually respond? I'm not talking about
> being grabbed by over-helpful people; I'm talking about people making
> physical (nonsexual) contact during a conversation. And not just the
> occasional shoulder tap, but something more hug-like.
> Best,
> Arielle
>
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-- 
Desiree