[nabs-l] Blindness and body contact

Thu Oct 16 18:40:34 UTC 2014

Yeah, I usually cut that off before it starts whith simple but firm
movements, even when I am walking down the sidewalk, or down the hall, I
move and lean aside out of arms reach to give people room so they don't
think then can just put their hands on me.

-----Original Message-----
From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Karl Martin
Adam via nabs-l
Sent: Wednesday, October 15, 2014 1:05 PM
To: Katie Wang; National Association of Blind Students mailing list
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Blindness and body contact

Hi All,

I have never experienced this sort of thing, and I observe that most of
those who have responded that they have are female, so I wonder if this is
something that sighted people do to blind women specifically not blind
people in general.  I, like all of us, have experienced the grabby sighted
person trying to help me get around, but I've never had people touch me
apart from the typical hug hello and goodby with close friends and family
and sometimes the arm tap.  The only other times people have touched me are
when the occasional teacher or friend has tried to explain the shape of
something by drawing on my hand or the like.

Best,
Karl

 ----- Original Message -----
From: Katie Wang via nabs-l <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
To: Carly Mihalakis <carlymih at comcast.net>, National Association of Blind
Students mailing list <nabs-l at nfbnet.org Date sent: Wed, 15 Oct 2014
12:29:33 -0400
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Blindness and body contact

Hi Arielle and all,

I have definitely had similar experiences with strangers and acquaintances,
and I too find such uninvited physical contact to be quite uncomfortable. I
would usually try to shift my body or take a few steps away from the person
- This usually gets the message across, though I often find it somewhat
awkward especially if the person in question is  a family friend or distant
relative (as it was in your case). While I obviously can't speak to the
motivation behind this type of behaviors, I would venture to guess that this
has something to do with sighted people's tendency to treat blind people
like children.
Given that people generally find it acceptable to ruffle a little kid's hair
or give him/her a hug, It seems that some sighted people feel it's OK to do
the same with those who are blind. It is also possible that some sighted
people are unsure about how to communicate with us - Given that we can't see
their facial expressions, they might assume that the only way to let us know
they are happy to see us/like something we did is to use physical contact.
Just my thoughts!

Katie

On 10/15/14, Carly Mihalakis via nabs-l <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
wrote:
 Good morning, Arielle,
 -American studies class at the local junior college, the instructor  much
to my appreciation would engage my body in much a same way as  you described
while talking to me, AI must say it made me feel like  teach was
particularly engaged with me as well as the subject matter  at hand. So, I
dug it, would look forward to our chats.
 I'm talking also, totally non-sexual and  non-erotic, just laying a  hand
on my shoulder, arm or hand. I really appreciated it!
 Have a good day, Arielle!
 for today, CCar

          As a matter of fact, one semester, I was taking an Afrikan  At
09:51 PM 10/14/2014, Arielle Silverman via nabs-l wrote:
Hi all,
So the feeling faces thread reminded me of something and I'm curious what
your experiences are with this kind of thing. My sister got married last
weekend and I gave a toast at her rehearsal dinner and a short reading
during the ceremony. At the cocktail reception a woman approached me and
introduced herself as the aunt of my sister's new husband. She then went on
for a while about how beautiful my speeches were. The entire time she had
her arm kind of around the side of my back and was stroking my shoulder. It
made me a bit uncomfortable because we had just met and I am not a very
touchy-feely person except with very close family and friends. This is also
not the firsttime people I don't know, or barely know, have interacted with
me in this way. I have always wondered if the touching is somehow because of
my blindness and if so, why do people feel driven to be so physically
affectionate with me? Or, is this a typical way people interact, and being
blind my whole life, I just haven't noticed how other people physically
interact during conversation? If you guys have experienced this sort of
thing, how do you usually respond? I'm not talking about being grabbed by
over-helpful people; I'm talking about people making physical (nonsexual)
contact during a conversation. And not just the occasional shoulder tap, but
something more hug-like.
Best,
Arielle

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