[nabs-l] Blindness and body contact

[Elif Emir]

this is just a type of microagression. I love this theory to explain
this kind of behaviors. I can't change others' behaviors, yet it helps
me understand both myself and their motivation.
I can understand why I get angry even though the person doing
something cute such as cuddeling or complimenting.
If you were sighted , she wouldn't touch you like that. She just has
in her mind that, you are not equal.
for more info about microagression
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microaggression_theory

2014-10-15 17:53 GMT-04:00, Alana Leonhardy via nabs-l <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>:
> Oh, my, my Chinese professor is like that. If I'm not seated before she's in
> the room, she gets nearly panicky. Like I'm going to fall and die on the way
> to my seat or something. And you should see the poor woman when class is
> over and it's time to get up and go.
>
> Sent from my iPhone
>
>> On Oct 15, 2014, at 11:38, Desiree Oudinot via nabs-l <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
>> wrote:
>>
>> Hi all,
>> Yes, this has happened to me quite a few times as well. I remember one
>> particular incident, when I went to a friend of my parents' wedding
>> reception. I was walking around, meeting some of the family, and an
>> elderly woman started touching me as I was introduced to her. I
>> reached out to shake her hand once we were introduced, and she kept
>> holding onto it for like 5 minutes. Then, when I was trying to gently
>> pull away, she simply stepped to the side and put her arm around me.
>> You know, I'm at least glad it wasn't a sloppy drunk man or something,
>> but I don't like physical contact very much myself, unless it's from
>> close family or friends. So even when it was from a relatively
>> harmless person, the whole thing made me feel stressed and
>> uncomfortable, and ruined what otherwise might have been a pleasant
>> conversation.
>> I also have distant relatives who do this, people I rarely see. While
>> this is a bit different because they're related to me, I know that
>> they're not as affectionate with other family members, even those they
>> haven't seen in a long time.
>> When people do this to me, and I could be wrong about this, but it is
>> my knee-jerk reaction only, it makes me feel as though the sighted
>> person is worried that I'm so helpless that I might blow away or
>> something. It makes me feel as though they are anchoring me. Because,
>> usually, the same people who do this are the same who are extremely
>> anxious because I'm not sitting down. They act appalled when I say
>> that I'm fine standing.
>>
>>> On 10/15/14, Arielle Silverman via nabs-l <nabs-l at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>> Hi all,
>>> So the feeling faces thread reminded me of something and I'm curious
>>> what your experiences are with this kind of thing. My sister got
>>> married last weekend and I gave a toast at her rehearsal dinner and a
>>> short reading during the ceremony. At the cocktail reception a woman
>>> approached me and introduced herself as the aunt of my sister's new
>>> husband. She then went on for a while about how beautiful my speeches
>>> were. The entire time she had her arm kind of around the side of my
>>> back and was stroking my shoulder. It made me a bit uncomfortable
>>> because we had just met and I am not a very touchy-feely person except
>>> with very close family and friends. This is also not the firsttime
>>> people I don't know, or barely know, have interacted with me in this
>>> way. I have always wondered if the touching is somehow because of my
>>> blindness and if so, why do people feel driven to be so physically
>>> affectionate with me? Or, is this a typical way people interact, and
>>> being blind my whole life, I just haven't noticed how other people
>>> physically interact during conversation? If you guys have experienced
>>> this sort of thing, how do you usually respond? I'm not talking about
>>> being grabbed by over-helpful people; I'm talking about people making
>>> physical (nonsexual) contact during a conversation. And not just the
>>> occasional shoulder tap, but something more hug-like.
>>> Best,
>>> Arielle
>>>
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>>
>>
>> --
>> Desiree
>>
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