[nabs-l] Blindness and body contact

[Liliya Asadullina]

Hi Arielle,
I have definitely experienced these type of behaviors from sighted
folks  numerous of times.  I believe that the tapping on the shoulder,
hand, or hugging actions are intended towards us because we can not
see their facial expressions.  They feel like it is a way to
communicate with us in a nonverbal fashion.  Since we are not able to
see their smile or make direct eye contact, they feel like touch is
another way to communicate with us.  In this type of situation, I
usually slowly start to move a small distance from them and try to
look at them.  This sometime gives them a hint that you don't want to
be touched in that way.  I agree that It can still be really awkward
though.  Maybe next time you see that person, mention to her in a nice
way that it is nothing against her, but you don't like to be touched.
Or mention it to her once you have gotten to know her better.  There
isn't really a way to not be a little awkward about it.
Also, sometimes older people put their arm around others because they
are just compassionate people.  A lot of international people do the
same thing.  Some people just express themselves through touch.  Just
try to go with your gut feeling to figure out what the person is
intending.
Hope this helps some.
Peace,
Liliya

On 10/15/14, Jedi Moerke via nabs-l <nabs-l at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> I think being a woman has a lot to do with it. I have noticed people are
> more physically affectionate with women much sooner and a social
> relationship than they are with men.
>
> Sent from my iPhone
>
>> On Oct 14, 2014, at 11:51 PM, Arielle Silverman via nabs-l
>> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>
>> Hi all,
>> So the feeling faces thread reminded me of something and I'm curious
>> what your experiences are with this kind of thing. My sister got
>> married last weekend and I gave a toast at her rehearsal dinner and a
>> short reading during the ceremony. At the cocktail reception a woman
>> approached me and introduced herself as the aunt of my sister's new
>> husband. She then went on for a while about how beautiful my speeches
>> were. The entire time she had her arm kind of around the side of my
>> back and was stroking my shoulder. It made me a bit uncomfortable
>> because we had just met and I am not a very touchy-feely person except
>> with very close family and friends. This is also not the firsttime
>> people I don't know, or barely know, have interacted with me in this
>> way. I have always wondered if the touching is somehow because of my
>> blindness and if so, why do people feel driven to be so physically
>> affectionate with me? Or, is this a typical way people interact, and
>> being blind my whole life, I just haven't noticed how other people
>> physically interact during conversation? If you guys have experienced
>> this sort of thing, how do you usually respond? I'm not talking about
>> being grabbed by over-helpful people; I'm talking about people making
>> physical (nonsexual) contact during a conversation. And not just the
>> occasional shoulder tap, but something more hug-like.
>> Best,
>> Arielle
>>
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