[nabs-l] social strategies at parties

Tue Jan 6 03:38:54 UTC 2015

The kind of setting you described was very intimidating for me for the longest time. Confidence seems to be the key to success in these kinds of situations. If you are confident in yourself and don’t act like it’s a big deal, most people will follow your lead. 

Its perfectly fine to ask someone you don’t know for help, but its definitely easier if you start a conversation first. Say hello, introduce yourself, ask their name, etc. Then, I would say something like, “I was headed to get some food. Do you know what they have?” or, “Would you mind telling me what they have?” If that’s a little too direct for your style, you could ask, “Am I headed in the right direction?” If you use this second option, be prepared for a yes or no answer, which is probably not what you are going for :)

Because you started a conversation before, it is perfectly natural to continue it as you get your food and afterward. If you are talking to someone, they are far more likely to sit down and continue the conversation once you have your food.  

No strategy is going to be perfect and you will often need to try several to get the job done. Being confident enough to say hello and start a conversation goes a long way toward putting people at ease who might not be comfortable. I think a big part of this is because we can’t make true eye contact. Sighted people generally start a conversation by making eye contact first. By putting yourself out there and saying hello, you clearly communicate your interest in speaking to someone.

And as for eating beforehand, that might work sometimes, but you don’t want to miss out on your host’s amazing food :) 

Best of luck,

Greg

> On Jan 5, 2015, at 9:00 PM, justin williams via nabs-l <nabs-l at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> I don't like the sitting with me part unless you build a relationship with them first or they offer, but asking about the food is a good idea.  Also, eat before you go so it is not necessary that you eat when you are there.
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Aleeha Dudley via nabs-l
> Sent: Monday, January 05, 2015 8:42 PM
> To: Vejas Vasiliauskas; National Association of Blind Students mailing list
> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] social strategies at parties
> 
> I think both of these are fine and are also great conversation starters. Just try to get to know the person. If they are willing to help, odds are they are also going to be willing to talk as well. If they don’t want to help, they’re not worth hanging out with anyway. 
> JMT.
> 
> Aleeha Dudley and Seeing Eye Dog Dallas Vice President, Ohio Association of Guide Dog Users Vice President, Ohio Association of Blind Students Both proud divisions of the National Federation of the Blind of Ohio
> Email: blindcowgirl1993 at gmail.com <mailto:blindcowgirl1993 at gmail.com>
> The National Federation of the Blind knows that blindness is not the characteristic that defines you or your future. Every day we raise the expectations of blind people, because low expectations create obstacles between blind people and our dreams. You can live the life you want; blindness is not what holds you back. 
> “The wind of heaven is that which blows between a horse’s ears.” - Arabian proverb 
> 
>> On Jan 5, 2015, at 8:37 PM, Vejas Vasiliauskas via nabs-l <nabs-l at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>> 
>> Hi All,
>> I'd really appreciate some advice.  I would really like to know what you do in big gatherings where you hardly know anyone.
>> Two weeks ago I went to a friend's house because she was sponsoring an event where people could go up and share their writing.  There were about 100 people there, mostly from my high school.  I only knew about 3 of them.  I would normally have hung out with my friend (I prefer to hang out with an individual rather than a group), but since it was at her house last month, she had to tend to all the guests and make sure they had everything they needed.  At dinner we had pizza and other snacks.  I found the kitchen easily because I heard people going in there, but I didn't know exactly where all the food was.  I asked someone where the pizza was and he got me a slice.  Then awhile later someone mentioned more food and I had had no idea that there was any.
>> So my questions are:
>> 1.  Is it okay to ask someone what all the food options are even if you hardly know them? Do you think that they would normally be willing to tell me?
>> 2.  Can I ask that person to sit with me if I don't have anyone to hang out with, or do you think that's too akward?
>> In the end everything turned out fine, but I'm just trying to get ideas so that I can feel more comfortable in future parties.
>> I have the feeling that a lot of times people want to help but don't because they don't know what to do.
>> Thanks,
>> Vejas
>> 
>> _______________________________________________
>> nabs-l mailing list
>> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for nabs-l:
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/blindcowgirl1993%4
>> 0gmail.com
> 
> _______________________________________________
> nabs-l mailing list
> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for nabs-l:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/justin.williams2%40gmail.com
> 
> 
> _______________________________________________
> nabs-l mailing list
> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for nabs-l:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/gpaikens%40gmail.com