[nabs-l] family problems dealing with blindness

[Kaiti Shelton]

Sound advice from those who have replied so far.  Think of what you
could do to help make your situation better.  Can you go to school, a
training center, work more hours if you're already working or look for
a job if you're not?  It's my experience that family members who baby
a blind person lose their ability to do that when they logically don't
have a reason to.  It makes them look strange when they're babying
someone who is doing their own thing the way they want and is
successful at that.  Many people in the blind community find their
parents lighten up considerably once they start college and live
independently away from home.  This was my experience as well so I
definitely advocate for finding ways to do more on your own outside of
the house to squash those feelings of being trapped while
demonstrating you can be independent.

If your parents are being physically or emotionally abusive that is a
different conversation though.  That's really something only you can
evaluate as none of us on the list know the extent of the problem.
The other thing to consider is what was already said; if you live in
someone's house, parents or not, it's their rules that count.  I don't
always follow all my parents rules at college, but I have to go back
to them when I am home for the summer and extended breaks in spite of
the fact that I'm an adult too.  Unless you pay rent and for some of
the groceries and such it's difficult to have a leg to stand on there
at least for most families.

For talking to them about babying you have you considered finding a
neutral mediator?  That would be someone who isn't necessarily on
either side but who can help keep the conversation on track and civil
between everyone.  Mediators can be great for these sorts of things.

Hope this helps,

On 6/2/15, Aaron via nabs-l <nabs-l at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> Have you tried moving out? About going to school? What about going to a Voke
> rehab place in your area? You need to do something. I was fortunate enough
> to have loving and caring family but understood that my blindness was not an
> invitation nor did they tell me it was and told me that I could do anything
> that I set my mind to.
>
> Thanks,
> Aaron
> Turning Disability into Ability
>
>> On Jun 2, 2015, at 10:52 AM, andrew edgcumbe via nabs-l
>> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>
>> Hi all  I  just have been having family difficaulties i have documented
>> them as a whole it may not look blindness right away but i get into that
>> later in the message though.
>>
>> this happened a month ago in april this happened. but anyway my parents
>> and i got into bit of a cafuffal and things. i got bit jumpy or whatever
>> but that is all but anyway my dad all of a sudden tells me to get out of
>> the room very sternly. anyway i did not leave the room but anyway he then
>> threatened to call the police on me. i still did not leave the room until
>> he said he ment what he said about that threat. this was couple hours
>> before i was going out with a close friend. but anyway when she came just
>> before we left my mom said my dad wanted to talk to my friend. We just
>> told
>> her we did not have time to talk and we left she said she had a gut
>> instinct that something was not right or was going to happen or something
>> like that before she got to my place i was just pretty scared my friend
>> said she couldn't blame me for being scared as she would be to if that
>> was
>> said to her. I felt everything from a evil presence to anything else in
>> that house. My dad can be the type who does raise his voice and shut
>> people
>> down instead of listening to them things like that. I been babied and
>> things by my parents and things. my dad treats me like a kid just his
>> tone
>> of voice when he asks things do you know what a porcky pine is for
>> example
>> it was like he tells me stuff i already know. my parents tend to treat me
>> like i have a disability and things i will state here that i don't
>> consider
>> blindness a disability only an impairment. but my parents treat me like i
>> can't do anything and things like that he tends to concentrate on
>> blindness
>> both parents do that is and does not think on the abilities. my parents
>> are
>> just very controlling when it comes to these things and it just gets me
>> down and things. he has said to me when i told him to stop treat me like
>> a
>> blind man his return fraise is this well you are blind and things like
>> that. again i don't consider blindness a disability i consider it an
>> impairment only. i just end up feeling very discouraged and feeling down
>> and things like that. i end up feeling hopless and i feel like i am very
>> iceolated and i feel very trapped at home as i am not aloud to do what i
>> want to do and things. i just am very tired of my parents in fact i feel
>> down because of being so trapped and things. my parents don't listen or
>> anything to me and when i tell somebody mom or dad how i feel they snap
>> back at me very quickly that is why i can't go to them.  I am finding
>> that
>> they have their set way of what they want to do or want me to do for
>> example things like that.  I am 28 years old there has been things i feel
>> that have not been shown to me my parents are not grounded in  nfb
>> philosaphy they may say a blind person is capable   on the other end
>> there
>> is this mind set they are not showing me that not showing me that i am
>> capable.   I know everybody has not been through these type of
>> experiences
>> but there seems to be fair number that have had trouble with parents that
>> are in the blind community.
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-- 
Kaiti