[nabs-l] Dealing with Unreasonable Parents

[Carly Mihalakis]

Evening, Rahl,
         What others say, particularly those whom are not livin withg 
ocular blindness ought not to impose the way in which they understand 
the handicapped person'sexperience, that is, the handicapped person 
ought to be granted freedom to understand and negociate his own 
space, without the small-minded signing off of  An outsider.
Car4/2017, you wrote:
>Hi Everyone,
>
>I hope this message finds you well.
>At the outset, let me clarify that this question may or may not have
>anything to do with my own personal experiences, so I'd appreciate it
>if the aim of the conversation could be to understand this phenomenon
>in general terms as opposed to focusing too much on my own situation.
>
>While a lot of us focus on the importance of sensitizing various
>stakeholders, such as employers, academic institutions and others
>about the capabilities of the disabled, few focus on the
>discrimination that the disabled face in their own homes due to the
>view that their own family has about their capabilities or potential.
>More specifically, if one has a parent who is unwilling to learn from
>the experiences of other blind people and give their disabled child
>the freedom that we all deserve, to what extent should one follow what
>such a parent says?
>Further, while safety is doubtless important, if the disabled person
>has the requisite maturity to ascertain if they will be safe in a
>given environment, should they act as per their own assessment or
>follow what their parent is saying, in the fear of alienating them?
>I think there are many emotional forces at play in a family setting
>that may not be involved in other settings. For instance, one often
>hears of parents emotionally blackmailing their children into acting
>the way they want without recognizing that this may not be in the
>child's best interest.
>Finally, what makes the situation worse is the fact that the external
>world [friends and wellwishers] is also often apprehensive to
>interfere in these matters on behalf of the disabled person on the
>ground that this is an internal family matter, so that makes it
>significantly harder for the disabled person to fully assert
>himself/herself.
>
>If any of you have dealt with the above, I'd be curious to know what
>you think about these issues.
>I am mindful of the fact that not many people would be open to
>discussing this on a public forum, so please feel free to mail me
>off-list about this. Further, not many may see this as a problem,
>given how  accustomed they are to succumbing to their parents' wishes,
>no matter how uninformed and inappropriate those wishes may be.
>
>Best,
>Rahul
>
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