[nabs-l] Dealing with Unreasonable Parents

[rbacchus228 at gmail.com]

 through it I am so sorry that you have to go 

Sent from my iPad

> On Aug 4, 2017, at 12:54 PM, Shikha via NABS-L <nabs-l at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> I have gone through this and will continue to live with an indian family who do not believe in me. I became blind at 17. I try my best to be positive, and get help from friends and counselors at school. I don't listen to my parents if i am going to be safe like at nfb events. Just make sure you are safe, and continue living your life. Do not please your parents because they will never be able to make anyone happy. Focus on making your self happy. I hated living with my parents when i was taking classes at community school. I hated it. I talked with my vr counselor and transferred to Georgia state and i love living on campuss. I am now currently trying to move to Marylamd to get my master. I do not care if my parents don't approve. It is not easy but you should live your life happily.
> Thanks,
> 
> 
> Shikha. 
> 
>> On Aug 4, 2017, at 3:44 AM, Rahul Bajaj via NABS-L <nabs-l at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>> 
>> Hi Everyone,
>> 
>> I hope this message finds you well.
>> At the outset, let me clarify that this question may or may not have
>> anything to do with my own personal experiences, so I'd appreciate it
>> if the aim of the conversation could be to understand this phenomenon
>> in general terms as opposed to focusing too much on my own situation.
>> 
>> While a lot of us focus on the importance of sensitizing various
>> stakeholders, such as employers, academic institutions and others
>> about the capabilities of the disabled, few focus on the
>> discrimination that the disabled face in their own homes due to the
>> view that their own family has about their capabilities or potential.
>> More specifically, if one has a parent who is unwilling to learn from
>> the experiences of other blind people and give their disabled child
>> the freedom that we all deserve, to what extent should one follow what
>> such a parent says?
>> Further, while safety is doubtless important, if the disabled person
>> has the requisite maturity to ascertain if they will be safe in a
>> given environment, should they act as per their own assessment or
>> follow what their parent is saying, in the fear of alienating them?
>> I think there are many emotional forces at play in a family setting
>> that may not be involved in other settings. For instance, one often
>> hears of parents emotionally blackmailing their children into acting
>> the way they want without recognizing that this may not be in the
>> child's best interest.
>> Finally, what makes the situation worse is the fact that the external
>> world [friends and wellwishers] is also often apprehensive to
>> interfere in these matters on behalf of the disabled person on the
>> ground that this is an internal family matter, so that makes it
>> significantly harder for the disabled person to fully assert
>> himself/herself.
>> 
>> If any of you have dealt with the above, I'd be curious to know what
>> you think about these issues.
>> I am mindful of the fact that not many people would be open to
>> discussing this on a public forum, so please feel free to mail me
>> off-list about this. Further, not many may see this as a problem,
>> given how  accustomed they are to succumbing to their parents' wishes,
>> no matter how uninformed and inappropriate those wishes may be.
>> 
>> Best,
>> Rahul
>> 
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