[NABS-L] Using online dating apps and putting oneself out there

Mon Jan 6 13:41:29 UTC 2020

Congratulations!! For Findin' EachOther
At 03:42 PM 1/5/2020, you wrote:
>Here is my experience with online dating. I met 
>my beautiful, amazing girlfriend in a Facebook 
>Group for Blind Singles. We planned to start 
>dating after six months, but we ended up 
>together after three months. Since then, she has 
>been so amazing to me. She is the best 
>girlfriend, ever!!! > On Aug 22, 2019, at 7:49 
>AM, Tony Grima via NABS-L <nabs-l at nfbnet.org> 
>wrote: > > ï»¿Hello! I just wanted to mention 
>that Kim Loftis just published a book all about 
>this topic: Dating in the Digital Age: An 
>Accessible Journey for Finding Love Online. 
>National Braille Press published it this summer: 
>http://www.nbp.org/ic/nbp/DATING.html > Best, > 
>Tony > > -----Original Message----- > From: 
>NABS-L [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On 
>Behalf Of JASON ALAMILLO via NABS-L > Sent: 
>Wednesday, August 21, 2019 4:56 PM > To: 
>National Association of Blind Students mailing 
>list <nabs-l at nfbnet.org> > Cc: JASON ALAMILLO 
><leadershipjba at gmail.com> > Subject: Re: 
>[NABS-L] Using online dating apps and putting 
>oneself out there > > Hello all, I have some 
>commentary on this subject. I think that a lot 
>of what was said about dating has been true and 
>is true for a lot of us. First, I would like to 
>talk about the topic of disclosure of our 
>blindness. Sometimes I have disclosed the fact 
>early in our conversations, and sometimes that 
>has not worked out for me. One of the reasons I 
>did that has been because they would send me 
>pictures or say different things that are visual 
>and if I know I cannot participate in the 
>conversation any longer, then I would have to 
>disclose it. As for other times, I have not 
>disclosed that I am blind until they get to know 
>me and my personality a little bit more, so that 
>they fall for who I am and what they like about 
>me, and so they know all of the things that I 
>like to do, watch, talk about, and all of that. 
>The reason for that is that once I do tell them 
>I am blind, I donâ€™t want them to be conflicted 
>on whether they wanna stay with me or not, I 
>want them to know that yes I am blind, and there 
>is nothing wrong with that. I will say though 
>that sometimes although I am trying to keep that 
>person in my life, that doesnâ€™t always work 
>but it is worth a try. > Second, on the apps 
>themselves, I have found it annoying that we 
>have to pay that app or website in order to chat 
>with people that may see our profile or send us 
>messages, and to access other parts of their 
>profiles or other parts of the website. I know 
>that it is a business and they have to make 
>money somehow, but it is annoying, but I can get 
>over that. I do however not like that with some 
>of these applications, they are not accessible 
>in formats that we would need them to be, to 
>upload photos of us, and to edit our profiles as 
>well. > I do think that you just have to scroll 
>through the apps and see if people live near you 
>or somewhere near you, and that would depend on 
>what your financial and transportation 
>livelihoods allow you to do. > Third, about the 
>in-person versus online dating scene, it is not 
>easy for some people to just walk up to someone 
>and just start talking, let alone ask them out 
>or to hang out or for their information to 
>contact them later. It is also difficult to find 
>people in the community who you may be 
>interested in, especially when they are not 
>interested or not around. Also, not all of us 
>have blind individuals around us if that is what 
>we are searching for, and sometimes sighted 
>individuals are not up to talking to us, let 
>alone going out with us. It doesnâ€™t mean that 
>it couldnâ€™t happen, but that is what I think 
>in terms of this topic. > >>> On Aug 21, 2019, 
>at 11:14 AM, Michael Capelle via NABS-L 
><nabs-l at nfbnet.org> wrote: >>> >>> I do agree, I 
>tell them about the blindness right 
>away. >>> >>> -----Original Message----- >>> 
>From: NABS-L <nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org> On 
>Behalf Of Carly Mihalakis >>> via NABS-L >>> 
>Sent: Wednesday, August 21, 2019 1:08 PM >>> To: 
>National Association of Blind Students mailing 
>list >>> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>; 
>nabs-l at nfbnet.org >>> Cc: Carly Mihalakis 
><carlymih at comcast.net> >>> Subject: Re: [NABS-L] 
>Using online dating apps and putting oneself 
>out >>> there >>> >>> Good mid-morning, 
>Rahul, >>> >>>        Personally, as a teenager 
>I would sort of browse Telepersonals, a 
>telephone dating outfit here in the Bay Area. It 
>was ideal, all voice. I ended up meeting a 
>couple guys in person even. >>> For this reason, 
>you have to be upfront about your blindness. No 
>games. >>> Car 12:25 AM 8/21/2019, Rahul Bajaj 
>via NABS-L wrote: >>> Hi All, Please do forgive 
>me if this has been discussed before. I was >>> 
>wondering if you have any pointers about using 
>online dating apps, >>> from a blind personÃ¢€™s 
>standpoint. So far, I have found Hi Hinge to 
>be >>> most useful, as it is largely based on 
>personality traits rather than >>> looks, but 
>have not received a single expression of 
>interest. Apart >>> from dating apps, are there 
>any other ways that you have foubnd of >>> 
>putting yourself out there? Best, Rahul Sent 
>from my iPhone >>> 
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