[nagdu] What would you have done? An odd access issue

Sat Feb 28 20:26:54 UTC 2009

Charlene,

Those are good points.  /smile/  We were all on the soggy side, I will
admit, but not dripping.  My dog is a poodle, so not as messy (or smelly!)
in the rain than some other breeds.  Unless she's really drenched.  Then we
find an overhang out of the rain where she can shake off and I can squeeze
some of the water out of her hair.  I've always been surprised by how little
there is, some of the downpours we've been caught in on the way to the
grocery store.

We did pick our own table.  It was a tiny place, so not many options, but
there was no one else there.  And, yes, Mitzi was with us at the table.  We
sat in a different corner, but far enough out of the way that Mitzi didn't
have to be worried about being stepped on if customers came in.  They were
teeny little coffee shop tables, with small chairs.  I could have stuffed
her under, but preferred to give her a more comfortable niche, since I
could.

The guy didn't mention anything about the damp being an issue, just the dog.
He didn't want the dog near the food. While I can't imagine food uncovered
in front of the counter where most people place their orders, what do I
know?

It sounds, from what Marion said, that I would have been within my rights to
put up more of a stink, since his request was discriminatory.  Other
customers go to the counter to order, then take a seat if they plan to eat
there.  The only customer who came in was the one who did the quick in and
out while I was on the phone, and he did go straight to the counter,
ordered, got his food or whatever and left.

Being better informed, I could also have done a better job of educating the
shop owner without being confrontational instead of just being befuddled.
/smile/

Tami Smith-Kinney

-----Original Message-----
From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
Of Charlene Ota
Sent: Friday, February 27, 2009 6:38 PM
To: 'NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users'
Subject: Re: [nagdu] What would you have done? An odd access issue

Hi, Tami, a couple questions, you said it was raining, was your dog really
wet?  You know how it is with a wet dog, they start shedding, too.  Maybe
the guy didn't want to get his glass in the counter wet and get hair on it
or something.  Somehow, you're probably more aware than that so I doubt that
could have been his issue, but just thought it might be what he was worried
about.  Were you able to keep your dog with you at your table?  I hope I'm
not asking dumb questions, but I guess it wouldn't be the first time!
(smile!)

Charlene 

-----Original Message-----
From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
Of sblanjones11
Sent: Friday, February 27, 2009 2:49 PM
To: 'NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users'
Subject: Re: [nagdu] What would you have done? An odd access issue

Tami,
That's a hard one, b/c it's not exactly black-&-white.
I think I would have tried to understand, especially with a wet dog.  I
would have done the best I could, and used the opportunity to educate.
I think you did OK, and I probably would have done similarly had I been in
your shoes.
Susan & Rhoda

-----Original Message-----
From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
Of Tamara Smith-Kinney
Sent: Friday, February 27, 2009 5:15 PM
To: 'NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users'
Subject: [nagdu] What would you have done? An odd access issue

First, hi to all the new members!  I am loving the energy and the new
observations and experiences.  It’s also cool to learn more about the
members I thought I new as they discuss things in a new way.  Now, if only I
could keep up with all of you!  /grin/

Anyway, here is my tale, along with what I did do at the time.  With much
retrospect, I’m still pretty clueless how to view the situation or how best
to handle something like it.

I was downtown with a friend, and we decided to go to a café she told me
about for Russion dumplings.  I had never heard of them before, but I really
wanted to try them.  (Yummy; very filling.)  We found the shop and went in,
where we stopped to shake off the rain and get oriented.  She was using her
cane; I had my dog.  While we were still figuring things out, a voice from
behind the counter asked me to keep my dog right there in the corner,
please.  I pointed out she’s a guide dog, he said he knew that, just please
keep her “right there, in corner.”  He had a somewhat strong accent, I
suddenly noticed, yet it did seem we were communicating.  He made it clear
he wasn’t asking us to leave, he just wanted the dog to sit in the corner.

Naturally, this got my dander up.  I had figured out the layout by now, so I
picked up my harness handle, and we started forward.  This got the owner’s
dander up, and he repeated his request somewhat more loudly, apparently on
the theory I was too stupid to understand what he wanted.  I opened my mouth
to argue, and my cell phone rang – my roommate’s ring tone.  While I was
talking to him, another customer came in.  I heard the owner ask the guy
plaintively if he could explain it to me, that he didn’t want the dog near
the food around the counter.  Phone conversation over, I prepared to push
the issue, but then it occurred to me
  I wasn’t actually sure if this was
breaking the law or not.  I definitely believed (and still do) that he was
in the wrong, but if he was within his rights, then who am I to argue?  He
was making it clear he intended to serve us, that he didn’t want us to
leave, that he would come to us to take our order since we weren’t coming to
the counter, etc.  He was, in his own way, being fairly courteous, even nice
about the whole thing.

Part of me wanted to just march out in a huff at that point, throwing some
obnoxious comment like, “Fine!  If you don’t want me to spend my money
here
” loudly over my shoulder on the way.  Part of me wanted those Russian
dumplings, which I could now smell.  Also, it was yicky outside at the
moment, and I wanted to sit down indoors.  What can I say?  I’m a wuss.
/smile/  Besides, leaving felt too much like being deprived of my goal of a
tasty dumpling.

Anyway, we ended up staying, we were served, he went out of his way to be
extra nice while clearly thinking we were both stupid, although he and I did
share our feelings on each of the matter for a less heated round.  I got my
dumplings, my friend and I had a quiet place to talk for a bit, and I had no
idea if I had made the right choice or if I had just taken the coward’s way
out.  Very hard on my pride, I tell you what!

So, my question is:  Was this an access issue at all, since he did, after
all, accommodate us?  Or should I have kept on with the attitude and
confrontation until I got my way and exercised my rights?

The next question has more to do with getting thoughts and opinions:  Would
you (or do you think I should have) a) left, making sure the owner
understood you refused to spend money in his store? b) played nice and taken
the opportunity for further discussion of the issue (hey! That makes it
sound like I was just being noble, huh?  Ha!) or c) is there something
better I totally haven’t thought of?

Thanks!

Tami Smith-Kinney 

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