[nagdu] What would you have done? An odd access issue

Ann Chiappetta dungarees at optonline.net
Sat Feb 28 20:42:44 UTC 2009


Hi Tamara;
What struck me most about your experience was the cultural implications and 
misconceptions the store owner put oppugn you and your friend. From what you 
stated, the store owner believed your dog posed a cleanliness concern.  If 
he is of the belief that animals have no place near food, no one will 
convince him otherwise.

It sounds like he accommodated you, albeit reluctantly. Perhaps he has 
already been advised through a fine or a friendly police visit, that he 
cannot deny you access. People like him often walk the line  just to avoid a 
fine or what they consider harassment by public officials.

If it was me, I'd make the choice not to go there any longer. Boycotting 
establishments and spreading the word as to why is one way an individual can 
take charge and make a difference.

Take care,
Annie C. & Verona
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Tamara Smith-Kinney" <tamara.8024 at comcast.net>
To: "'NAGDU Mailing List, the National Association of Guide Dog Users'" 
<nagdu at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Friday, February 27, 2009 5:15 PM
Subject: [nagdu] What would you have done? An odd access issue


First, hi to all the new members!  I am loving the energy and the new
observations and experiences.  It's also cool to learn more about the
members I thought I new as they discuss things in a new way.  Now, if only I
could keep up with all of you!  /grin/



Anyway, here is my tale, along with what I did do at the time.  With much
retrospect, I'm still pretty clueless how to view the situation or how best
to handle something like it.



I was downtown with a friend, and we decided to go to a café she told me
about for Russion dumplings.  I had never heard of them before, but I really
wanted to try them.  (Yummy; very filling.)  We found the shop and went in,
where we stopped to shake off the rain and get oriented.  She was using her
cane; I had my dog.  While we were still figuring things out, a voice from
behind the counter asked me to keep my dog right there in the corner,
please.  I pointed out she's a guide dog, he said he knew that, just please
keep her "right there, in corner."  He had a somewhat strong accent, I
suddenly noticed, yet it did seem we were communicating.  He made it clear
he wasn't asking us to leave, he just wanted the dog to sit in the corner.



Naturally, this got my dander up.  I had figured out the layout by now, so I
picked up my harness handle, and we started forward.  This got the owner's
dander up, and he repeated his request somewhat more loudly, apparently on
the theory I was too stupid to understand what he wanted.  I opened my mouth
to argue, and my cell phone rang - my roommate's ring tone.  While I was
talking to him, another customer came in.  I heard the owner ask the guy
plaintively if he could explain it to me, that he didn't want the dog near
the food around the counter.  Phone conversation over, I prepared to push
the issue, but then it occurred to me.  I wasn't actually sure if this was
breaking the law or not.  I definitely believed (and still do) that he was
in the wrong, but if he was within his rights, then who am I to argue?  He
was making it clear he intended to serve us, that he didn't want us to
leave, that he would come to us to take our order since we weren't coming to
the counter, etc.  He was, in his own way, being fairly courteous, even nice
about the whole thing.



Part of me wanted to just march out in a huff at that point, throwing some
obnoxious comment like, "Fine!  If you don't want me to spend my money
here." loudly over my shoulder on the way.  Part of me wanted those Russian
dumplings, which I could now smell.  Also, it was yicky outside at the
moment, and I wanted to sit down indoors.  What can I say?  I'm a wuss.
/smile/  Besides, leaving felt too much like being deprived of my goal of a
tasty dumpling.



Anyway, we ended up staying, we were served, he went out of his way to be
extra nice while clearly thinking we were both stupid, although he and I did
share our feelings on each of the matter for a less heated round.  I got my
dumplings, my friend and I had a quiet place to talk for a bit, and I had no
idea if I had made the right choice or if I had just taken the coward's way
out.  Very hard on my pride, I tell you what!



So, my question is:  Was this an access issue at all, since he did, after
all, accommodate us?  Or should I have kept on with the attitude and
confrontation until I got my way and exercised my rights?



The next question has more to do with getting thoughts and opinions:  Would
you (or do you think I should have) a) left, making sure the owner
understood you refused to spend money in his store? b) played nice and taken
the opportunity for further discussion of the issue (hey! That makes it
sound like I was just being noble, huh?  Ha!) or c) is there something
better I totally haven't thought of?



Thanks!

Tami Smith-Kinney



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