[nagdu] family arguments about the dog

[Angie Matney]

Hi Allison,

First, I don't think you can be overly anal in this situation. If you're not
comfortable with the way someone is interacting with your dog, that's that. 

As for your brother's question about "the harm" in giving Gilbert treats,
I'd say something like, "You know that guide dogs are allowed in
restaurants, right?" When he agrees, I'd point out that this is partly
because they are well-behaved and do not beg for food. They do not expect to
be fed at the same time the humans are being fed. If Gilbert thinks he
should get to eat every time you get to eat, this could pose real problems
for you in some public settings. I'd also remind him that if you know
everything that goes in, you'll know what to expect to come out later. LOL.
This is important because you need to avoid the possibility that Gilbert
could unexpectedly need to relieve at an inconvenient time.

Finally, do you think you could email him about this situation before his
next visit? Would he be receptive to that? You could then clearly explain
everything before your emotions run high.

I have had similar discussions with family members, but they have always
respected my decisions about treats. I do remember at first, though, that
some people in my family would really argue about it with me. My mom in
particular would say things like, "Angie, that dog is working, and what if
her blood sugar drops too low while she is working? What if she can't
concentrate? You don't feed her enough!" Then, I heard her saying something
similar to my sister, who has two small children. (I don't remember exactly
*what* she said to my sister--it clearly didn't have anything to do with the
kids working or not being able to concentrate, but it was in the same
spirit.) I just figured that my mom, at any rate, treats my dogs the way she
treats her human grandchildren. LOL!

But in all seriousness, I do understand how frustrating it can be when
people question your judgment concerning your dogs. I have been lucky in
that no one in my family has ever directly opposed me and given treats when
I have asked them not to.

Angie

-----Original Message-----
From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
Of Allison Nastoff
Sent: Friday, June 19, 2009 10:44 PM
To: nagdu at nfbnet.org
Subject: [nagdu] family arguments about the dog

Hi List,
I consider myself a pretty easygoing person with regard to people 
interacting with Gilbert, but one thing that I am absolutely 
adamant about is making sure that Gilbert is not given any table 
scraps or treats without my permission because I don't want him 
to start begging the way the pet dogs I grew up with did, not to 
mention keeping him healthy.
The dog trainer told me that he usually gave Gilbert only one 
treat each day just before going to bed, a ritual which I have 
continued.  I will make exceptions of course, like when he goes 
to the vet or the groomer, but generally he only gets one milk 
bone treat a day, and absolutely no table scraps besides the 
crumbs that inadvertently fall on the floor.  My parents respect 
my feelings on this matter.  My friends in the college dorm 
respect my feelings on this issue.  My brother does not.
My brother is in college and lives in his own apartment.  But 
when he comes home for dinner occasionally, it is always the same 
argument.
Brother: "Gilbert, do you want some chicken?"
me: "No, Gilbert can not have table scraps."
Brother: COME on, why not? Dogs love chicken!"
Me: Of course they love chicken, but I want to keep Gilbert 
healthy, and since he is a guide dog, I do not want him to come 
to expect table scraps, and then he will start begging."
Brother: All right, I am giving him a milk bone then." (He gets 
up, walks to the pantry, pulls out the container of milk bones 
and shakes it).  "Gilbert, you want a treat?"
Me (standing up and shouting now): "No! Do not give him a treat!"
Brother: Come on! What is the harm in letting him have one milk 
bone?"
Me: "There is no harm, but he is my guide dog, so I would like to 
decide when he gets treats, and I do not want him to have a treat 
right now! He will get a treat before bed!"
He grudgingly put the treats back and dropped the subject, but I 
am sure we will have the same argument again next time he comes.
So I was wondering:
1.  Does anyone have similar arguments with family members over 
their dogs?
2.  Is there a better way I could handle this kind of situation? 
and
3.  Am I being overly anal? My brother does not come that often, 
so should I just let my brother indulge Gilbert and give him a 
treat?
I am interested in hearing your thoughts on this subject.
Allison and Gilbert

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