[nagdu] family arguments about the dog

[Linda Gwizdak]

Hi Allison,
I think I would either talk to on the phone or e-mail your brother shortly 
before you expect he will be home.  I would tell him, in a calm way, that it 
really hurts you that he insists on being disrespectful to your wishes 
regarding Gilbert. It hurts you to have to have your visit with him marred 
by a fight at the table over feeding your dog.  Explain to him the harm it 
is for him to try to feed your dog stuff from the dinner table. Ask him how 
he would feel being in a nice restaurant with his girl, enjoying a nice 
romantic meal and - along comes a guide dog and it swipes something from his 
plate as it walks by his table.

Explain to him that you can't treat a guide dog like a housepet because 
Gilbert has to have impeccible manners while out in public.  You have to 
control what goes in the dog so you can be aware of what must come out and 
when.  Gilbert is there to assist you. He can't be snarfing stuff everywhere 
and you can't see what he's gotten into or what people slip to him.

I would also enlist the help of, maybe your father. Your Dad and brother can 
have a man to man chat outside - before the meal. Hopefully this can help.

Now, this pisses me off, but I find that lots of sighted people listen to 
other sighted people before they listen to a blind person.  Get your parents 
help in this - the fighting must bother them and it must be disturbing their 
meal as well.

HTH - I guess I'm lucky, my family doesn't like dogs in the kitchen or at 
the table while preparing or eating meals.  I put Landon out of the way 
where he can still see me.  There's no room around our family tables for 
Landon to lie under the table or my chair. This arrangement works out fine 
for all of us. At restaurants with the family, Landon is perfect and under 
our table or my chair! (grin!)

Linda and Landon
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Allison Nastoff" <anastoff at wi.rr.com>
To: <nagdu at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Friday, June 19, 2009 7:43 PM
Subject: [nagdu] family arguments about the dog


> Hi List,
> I consider myself a pretty easygoing person with regard to people 
> interacting with Gilbert, but one thing that I am absolutely adamant about 
> is making sure that Gilbert is not given any table scraps or treats 
> without my permission because I don't want him to start begging the way 
> the pet dogs I grew up with did, not to mention keeping him healthy.
> The dog trainer told me that he usually gave Gilbert only one treat each 
> day just before going to bed, a ritual which I have continued.  I will 
> make exceptions of course, like when he goes to the vet or the groomer, 
> but generally he only gets one milk bone treat a day, and absolutely no 
> table scraps besides the crumbs that inadvertently fall on the floor.  My 
> parents respect my feelings on this matter.  My friends in the college 
> dorm respect my feelings on this issue.  My brother does not.
> My brother is in college and lives in his own apartment.  But when he 
> comes home for dinner occasionally, it is always the same argument.
> Brother: "Gilbert, do you want some chicken?"
> me: "No, Gilbert can not have table scraps."
> Brother: COME on, why not? Dogs love chicken!"
> Me: Of course they love chicken, but I want to keep Gilbert healthy, and 
> since he is a guide dog, I do not want him to come to expect table scraps, 
> and then he will start begging."
> Brother: All right, I am giving him a milk bone then." (He gets up, walks 
> to the pantry, pulls out the container of milk bones and shakes it). 
> "Gilbert, you want a treat?"
> Me (standing up and shouting now): "No! Do not give him a treat!"
> Brother: Come on! What is the harm in letting him have one milk bone?"
> Me: "There is no harm, but he is my guide dog, so I would like to decide 
> when he gets treats, and I do not want him to have a treat right now! He 
> will get a treat before bed!"
> He grudgingly put the treats back and dropped the subject, but I am sure 
> we will have the same argument again next time he comes.
> So I was wondering:
> 1.  Does anyone have similar arguments with family members over their 
> dogs?
> 2.  Is there a better way I could handle this kind of situation? and
> 3.  Am I being overly anal? My brother does not come that often, so should 
> I just let my brother indulge Gilbert and give him a treat?
> I am interested in hearing your thoughts on this subject.
> Allison and Gilbert
>
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