[nagdu] Michael's Question

Pickrell, Rebecca M (IS) REBECCA.PICKRELL at ngc.com
Tue May 19 12:41:41 UTC 2009


Angie, 
Thank you for sharing with the list. 
I wonder if the school staff member would have grilled the nurse the way
he grilled you? 
My sister is a vet tech and she works longer days then I do. 
Also, I'll say that having kids doesn't mean the dog will "always have
someone there for her". 
My daughter takes up more attention then a dog ever did. 
I'd wager that a busy mom might miss something with a dog pretty easily,
not because she doesn't care, but because there are only so many hours
in the day. This is one of the reasons I don't have a dog anymore. 
Sounds like you handled the situation with tact and dignity. 

-----Original Message-----
From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Angie Matney
Sent: Monday, May 18, 2009 3:26 PM
To: 'NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users'
Subject: [nagdu] Michael's Question

Hello everyone,

This is sort of on point to the issue Michael mentioned. A few years
ago, I wanted to adopt a friend's retired guide. The school policy at
that time was that, no matter who owned the dog, the graduate could
choose the dog's retirement home if they had been partnered with the dog
for over a year. In this case, the graduate had not elected to apply for
ownership of the dog.

The dog was retired at age four because of glaucoma. My friend contacted
the school and asked that the dog be placed with me. I was then
contacted by someone on staff at the school. This individual indicated
that a veterinary nurse had expressed an interest in possibly adopting
the dog. (Apparently, the nurse had not firmly committed to adopt the
dog.) This was presented to me as an option that had only recently
become available. The school staff person asked me if I "cared enough"
to let the school find a "better" home for this dog.

Initially, I was speechless. I thought then, and still do believe, that
this language was manipulative and uncalled-for. I can only assume that
the staff member really believed he was acting in the dog's best
interest.

When I told the employee that I believed I would be able to adequately
care for the dog, I was reminded that the school would not provide any
veterinary stipend as they did for my current working guide, since this
was a retired guide dog. I explained that I knew this and that I was
prepared to assume all responsibility for the dog's medical treatment. 

The employee then suggested that the dog would be better off with a
family and not with a single person. "She should be where someone will
always be there for her." I explained that I would be working from home.
He continued to argue that she would be better off if she lived where
"someone would always be there for her." I asked him how he knew this
would be the case with the other adoptive placement. When he asked what
I meant, I pointed out that in many families, both parents work, and the
kids are away at  school all day. Did he know for sure that someone
would be with this dog throughout the day? He confessed that he did not
know this. Further, he admitted that they had no character references on
this nurse. The school had three character references for me from the
time when I had applied to get a dog from them. They had also *given* me
one of their dogs, and had presumably taught me what I would need to
know about taking care of a dog.

My theory is that this individual was concerned because the dog needed
eye drops administered twice a day. I believe he was concerned that I
would not be able to administer this medication. He was possibly also
concerned that I would not notice changes that would indicate that her
glaucoma had gotten worse. Again, this is only my belief, but it is the
only logical explanation. As I said, I was working from home at the
time, the school had plenty of information concerning my fitness to care
for a dog, and my friend had asked that I adopt the dog.

During the course of our conversation, the staff member brought up the
vet stipend issue several more times. Finally, in frustration, I asked
if he needed to know my salary, since he seemed to believe that I would
be expecting the school to pay for the dog's medical care. He said that
of course, he did not need to know this.

We closed our conversation with an agreement that he would try to find
out if someone would indeed be at home with the dog during the day and
that we would talk more later.

I then called my friend. I told her that the school had suggested the
veterinary nurse and that they felt this would be the best placement for
the dog. She surprised me by telling me that the school had already
discussed this possibility with her. She had said that she still wanted
the dog to live with me.

So after the graduate had expressly indicated that she wanted the dog to
live with me and*not* with someone she didn't know, someone from the
school then called me and asked if I "cared enough" to let the school
find a better home for this dog.

After I spoke with my friend, I left a voicemaiol with the staff member
who had contacted me. I told him that if I heard directly from my friend
that she had changed her mind and wanted the dog to live with the nurse,
I would support her completely. I went on to say that I believed my
friend had the right to choose where her dog should live, and that I
would not withdraw my offer to take the dog unless my friend directly
spoke with me and told me this was what she wanted.

I adopted the dog, and she lived with me for several years. Regrettably,
when my circumstances changed, I knew I would not be able to keep her. I
struggled for a long time with feelings of inadequacy concerning this. I
did not want to believe that this school employee had been right all
along.

But I have come to understand that he *wasn't* right. My life
circumstances changed in a way that I could not possibly have foreseen
at the time I took the dog (I went to law school and lived in on-campus
housing).  This could happen  to *anybody.* Additionally, I found a
*wonderful* home for the dog with a good friend. In fact, I am staying
with this friend while I study for the Bar. The dog I mentioned (who is
doing remarkably well, by the way) just ccame over for some pets and
scritches while I was writing this email. I do not believe I
short-changed the dog in any way.

I have left the name of the school out of this email. I'm sure all of
you know the school I'm referring to. Frankly, I left the name out
because this list does have a public  archive, and while I have decided
that I am OK with posting this here, I don't think I want it to come up
when the school is googled.

Best,

Angie




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