[nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful

Thu Feb 11 04:41:11 UTC 2010

Hi, Mark, now we know a little more, you still have to live at home a while,
granted. It probably soundeed like full-speed ahead, but actually, it could
be that you start carrying out your plan little by little, making your
parents aware as you go and involving them in the process. I guess I thought
you might be a little older where you could be a little more decisive. You
could get information from the schools you're interested in, get the
applications and whatever other paperwork you'll need to fill out and begin
to work through the application process and possibly get someone from the
schools to visit with your parents and explain things. It sounds like you're
a responsible person who would take care of the dog.

Hey, if nothing else, you can look forwarad to the day you are on your own
and can get your dog, if all else fails.

All the best,
Charlene 

-----Original Message-----
From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
Of Mark J. Cadigan
Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 6:03 PM
To: NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users
Subject: Re: [nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful

Charlene,
The only problem with the "dam the torpedoes full speed ahead" approach is I
still got to live with my parents afterwards. They help me with many things
like school, giving me rides, and all the rest of the things parents do for
there high school aged son. I don't want to push to hard and cause problems.

They clamed they want me to be more independent, but they don't know how to
define that. It is not possible to go to all the places other high schoolers
go to because of mobility and transportation issues. A dog would allow me to
confidently travel unfamiliar areas, and not have to rely on friends for
guides. But this is not enough to convince them it is a necessary tool for
the toolbox.

----- Original Message -----
From: "Charlene Ota" <caota at hawaii.rr.com>
To: "'NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users'" 
<nagdu at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 10:05 PM
Subject: Re: [nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful

> After reading this message from you, Mark, maybe your parents are dealing
> with the fact that the dog will probably make you even more independent 
> and
> they will have less ocontrol over you. If you're old enough to make your 
> own
> decisions, I think I'd just quietly go about getting the dog if that is 
> what
> you really want to do and politely tell them you've made your decision. I
> suppose that sounds harsh or insensitive to them, but you need to build 
> your
> own life and gain your independence. Hopefully, once they get past that,
> they'll be more comfortable and accepting of the dog. Hopefully, they will
> come to understand that you're not replacing them in your life and that 
> even
> though you'll be more independent, they're still important to you as
> parents.
>
> Hope that makes some sense.
>
> Charlene
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
> Of Mark J. Cadigan
> Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 9:11 AM
> To: NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users
> Subject: Re: [nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful
>
> Dan W,
>
> My mom claims to be terrified of dogs, but yet we have a pet dog.  My
> parents claim that a guide dog will smell, then I point out that if you 
> take
> care of it properly it won't. Then I point out people we know with guide
> dogs that don't smell. My dad's response to this is to tell this story of
> his friend's son's roommate's friend had a roommate with a smelly guide 
> dog.
>
> This happened so long ago, and is so far removed from the situation that I
> can't see how it possibly has any bearing on the current situation. Also
> that story is so convoluted that is impossible to verify. And the argument
> goes on and on Ad nauseam. It is getting to the point that I think they 
> are
> just attempting to exorcize there ability to make arbitrary decisions.
>
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Dan Weiner" <dcwein at dcwein.cnc.net>
> To: "'NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users'"
> <nagdu at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 1:33 PM
> Subject: Re: [nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful
>
>
>> Well, first question is "Is the reason your parents don't support your
>> idea
>> of getting a dog that they don't like dogs?"--smile.
>> Second of all, what is your parents objection, I mean presumably you're
>> the
>> one who's blind so maybe you might know a little better than they do
>> whether
>> a dog would enhance your lifestyle or not.
>> I'm fortunate that by the time I wanted a dog, my parents had figured out
>> I'd pretty much do what I wanted without permission, so my Dad just asked
>> one or two feeble questions and then left it alone.
>> He asked "Are you sure a dog will be worth the trouble, how do you know
>> it'll work out."
>> I explained that, never having a dog, a guide dog, that is,  I'd need to
>> find it out for myself and I really wanted to take care of the dog and 
>> was
>> ready.
>> When I got home, he admired the dog enormously. But he asked the second
>> day
>> back home if the dog really had to go out with us to breakfast. I said it
>> did, when he seemed to balk I said "I love you Dad, and enjoy going out,
>> but
>> this is important to me and if you don't want my guide dog than I'm 
>> afraid
>
>> I
>> won't be going".
>> Dead silence ensued, and the issue never came up again.  As a matter of
>> fact, my Dad adopted my first hound after he retired and loved him.  The
>> dog, Grant, even went to my Dad's funeral's
>> The only thing I wasn't really ready for was the access issues. Being the
>> brilliant young man I was--smile--it never occurred to me that people
>> would
>> have issues with a dog, I mean access issues to public places.
>>
>> So, tell us more what the problem is and we'll be happy to talk about it.
>> There are some folks on this list who can be very good role models and
>> mentors, I wish there had been such a list when I started out.  But, then
>> I
>> don't think there were such things as computer lists--smile.
>>
>> Good luck
>>
>> Dan W. and the Carter Dog
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On 
>> Behalf
>> Of Mark J. Cadigan
>> Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 1:17 PM
>> To: nagdu at nfbnet.org
>> Subject: [nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful
>>
>> Hello list,
>>
>> I am new to this list, and I am thinking of getting a guide dog for when 
>> I
>> go to college. The only problem I am having is convincing my parents that
>> a
>> guide dog is a useful mobility tool.  As you can probably guess, that is 
>> a
>> large obstacle. I am currently in high school, so I have to abide by my
>> parent's wishes, or at least for now. What I am asking for is how best to
>> explain to them, that guide dogs are useful mobility tools, that will
>> enhance my independence rather than detract from it. I have given them
>> literature, DVDs and have attempted to talk to them. Any instructional
>> materiel finds its way into the circular file, and they change the 
>> subject
>> when I talk to them. Any and all suggestions are welcome.
>>
>> Thanks
>> Mark
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