[nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful

Joy Relton jrelton at verizon.net
Thu Feb 11 14:50:15 UTC 2010


Hi Mark,

When I went to college I shared my suite with two other women but my room
was a single. Fortunately I was able to do this, but my reason for electing
this arrangement had to do with the amount of equipment and the type of
equipment that I used to study, not my dog. In those days, and I'm now
dating myself, we had reel-to-reel machines to use to read the books and all
other kinds of equipment like a typewriter, a Braille writer and more. There
weren't computers, Victor Reader Streams or any of that stuff and I thought
spreading all of my stuff all over the room and taking up more than my share
would be unfair. My dog, slept next to my bed in the center part of the
suite with the other two women and was never a problem. When I shared
apartments it was never a problem with my room mates. In fact, one of my
room mates went to the doctor and he asked her if there were any animals in
the apartment that she could be allergic to and she said no. Then the doctor
asked if she wasn't rooming with me and didn't I have a Seeing Eye Dog? She
said, oh I didn't even think of Vikki as a dog or any other animal. When it
was in the dorms or apartment buildings my friends all enjoyed my dog along
with me. There were rules about not petting while in harness but she enjoyed
many a game of ball down the halls of the dorm and traveled with me and my
friends everywhere. I have never had anyone tell me that my dogs were not
well groomed, or that they smelled and they've been welcome pretty much
anywhere that I have gone. If they weren't and it was a legal issue I
addressed it, if it was the other persons preference I let them deal with it
and didn't invade their space and ensured that they did the same with me. 

In fact, the last two dogs that I have had to put to sleep have been so well
accepted by my church that the members of the choir donated money toward
hymnals and made contributions to the Seeing Eye in their honor. I'd say
that was acceptance. I'm guessing that you'll work out your issues with your
parents when you let them see that you are an adult who is capable of
handling your life and your life decisions. Be gentle with your parents
though, as the song says "teach your children well, their children's hell
will slowly go by". In other words, it's probably premature to push the dog
issue since you don't know yet where you will be. In the mean time, collect
the facts and meet some folks in the area who are using dogs successfully.
Then, make your decision based on what's best for you and nicely inform your
parents. That's what my kids have done. We have the type of relationship
that my husband and I have always sought to ensure that they have the tools
to make their own decisions and the understanding that, if they make a
mistake they can come for help and support whether or not we agree with
their decision. Talking to your parents on some of these issues will go
further than talking to us, except for gathering information and facts. Good
luck.

-----Original Message-----
From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
Of Mark J. Cadigan
Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 7:59 PM
To: NAGDU Mailing List, the National Association of Guide Dog Users
Subject: Re: [nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful


Thanks all of you for your suggestions. I like both the Seeing Eye, and GDB.

Ware as I live in MA the Seeing Eye is a lot closer. I am a junior in high 
school so I haven't yet decided what college I will be attending. What I do 
know, is I want to be in a big city with access to a good public transit 
network such as the MBTA. I currently take the T to and from places all over

Boston using my cane. Because of this independence I am having difficulty 
explaining to my parents that a dog would only enhance it making me a more 
competent, safer, and faster traveler. Have any of you ever experienced 
complaints about your dog either shedding or smelling bad? Is this a problem

with roommates in college? Like most teenagers my room is never clean for 
long, but it is never that messy. I always take excellent care of all my 
equipment, and don't see how the maintenance of a dog will be a problem. My 
parents seem to have concerns of how I will maintain a dog in college. Any 
thoughts?

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Albert J Rizzi" <albert at myblindspot.org>
To: "'NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users'" 
<nagdu at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 2:29 PM
Subject: Re: [nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful


> First, where are you located? Maybe there is a guide program in your 
> area which would allow you to sort of host a dog for sometime until 
> the guide is matched up with a handler. This would help to introduce 
> your parents to the
> concepts  and strength having a guide could and would lend to your life. 
> You
> could also let them know that their role in your life is to make you as
> completely independent as possible and that the introduction of a guide 
> dog
> into your life would do just that. you could also play on their sympathies
> by letting them know you are looking to be able to walk independently with
> friends and thereby depend less on their eyes and more so on your own 
> senses
> coupled with the security and independence a guide would lend to your 
> life.
> Where are you intending on going to college? If you are hoping to go away,
> your parents would need to understand  that a guide would help you to move
> swiftly and securely through a campus ensuring your timely attendance to 
> all
> your classes. Again, maybe a talk with a teacher/principal  might help
> advance your crusade.
>
> Albert J. Rizzi, M.Ed.
> CEO/Founder
> My Blind Spot, Inc.
> 90 Broad Street - 18th Fl.
> New York, New York  10004
> www.myblindspot.org
> PH: 917-553-0347
> Fax: 212-858-5759
> "The person who says it cannot be done, shouldn't interrupt the one 
> who is doing it."
>
>
> Visit us on Facebook LinkedIn
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On 
> Behalf Of Mark J. Cadigan
> Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 2:11 PM
> To: NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users
> Subject: Re: [nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful
>
> Dan W,
>
> My mom claims to be terrified of dogs, but yet we have a pet dog.  My 
> parents claim that a guide dog will smell, then I point out that if 
> you take
>
> care of it properly it won't. Then I point out people we know with 
> guide dogs that don't smell. My dad's response to this is to tell this 
> story of his friend's son's roommate's friend had a roommate with a 
> smelly guide dog.
>
> This happened so long ago, and is so far removed from the situation 
> that I can't see how it possibly has any bearing on the current 
> situation. Also that story is so convoluted that is impossible to 
> verify. And the argument goes on and on Ad nauseam. It is getting to 
> the point that I think they are just attempting to exorcize there 
> ability to make arbitrary decisions.
>
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Dan Weiner" <dcwein at dcwein.cnc.net>
> To: "'NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users'"
> <nagdu at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 1:33 PM
> Subject: Re: [nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful
>
>
>> Well, first question is "Is the reason your parents don't support 
>> your idea of getting a dog that they don't like dogs?"--smile.
>> Second of all, what is your parents objection, I mean presumably you're
>> the
>> one who's blind so maybe you might know a little better than they do
>> whether
>> a dog would enhance your lifestyle or not.
>> I'm fortunate that by the time I wanted a dog, my parents had figured out
>> I'd pretty much do what I wanted without permission, so my Dad just asked
>> one or two feeble questions and then left it alone.
>> He asked "Are you sure a dog will be worth the trouble, how do you know
>> it'll work out."
>> I explained that, never having a dog, a guide dog, that is,  I'd need to
>> find it out for myself and I really wanted to take care of the dog and 
>> was
>> ready.
>> When I got home, he admired the dog enormously. But he asked the second
>> day
>> back home if the dog really had to go out with us to breakfast. I said it
>> did, when he seemed to balk I said "I love you Dad, and enjoy going out,
>> but
>> this is important to me and if you don't want my guide dog than I'm 
>> afraid
>
>> I
>> won't be going".
>> Dead silence ensued, and the issue never came up again.  As a matter 
>> of fact, my Dad adopted my first hound after he retired and loved 
>> him.  The dog, Grant, even went to my Dad's funeral's The only thing 
>> I wasn't really ready for was the access issues. Being the brilliant 
>> young man I was--smile--it never occurred to me that people would
>> have issues with a dog, I mean access issues to public places.
>>
>> So, tell us more what the problem is and we'll be happy to talk about 
>> it. There are some folks on this list who can be very good role 
>> models and mentors, I wish there had been such a list when I started 
>> out.  But, then I don't think there were such things as computer 
>> lists--smile.
>>
>> Good luck
>>
>> Dan W. and the Carter Dog
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>> Behalf
>> Of Mark J. Cadigan
>> Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 1:17 PM
>> To: nagdu at nfbnet.org
>> Subject: [nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful
>>
>> Hello list,
>>
>> I am new to this list, and I am thinking of getting a guide dog for 
>> when
>> I
>> go to college. The only problem I am having is convincing my parents that
>> a
>> guide dog is a useful mobility tool.  As you can probably guess, that is 
>> a
>> large obstacle. I am currently in high school, so I have to abide by my
>> parent's wishes, or at least for now. What I am asking for is how best to
>> explain to them, that guide dogs are useful mobility tools, that will
>> enhance my independence rather than detract from it. I have given them
>> literature, DVDs and have attempted to talk to them. Any instructional
>> materiel finds its way into the circular file, and they change the 
>> subject
>> when I talk to them. Any and all suggestions are welcome.
>>
>> Thanks
>> Mark
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