[nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful

Thu Feb 11 15:13:37 UTC 2010

Thanks again for all of your suggestions. I will use the points made on this 
list next time I talk to the parents. Any thoughts about transitioning to 
college and a dog simultaneously?

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Joy Relton" <jrelton at verizon.net>
To: "'NAGDU Mailing List, the National Association of Guide Dog Users'" 
<nagdu at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, February 11, 2010 9:50 AM
Subject: Re: [nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful

> Hi Mark,
>
> When I went to college I shared my suite with two other women but my room
> was a single. Fortunately I was able to do this, but my reason for 
> electing
> this arrangement had to do with the amount of equipment and the type of
> equipment that I used to study, not my dog. In those days, and I'm now
> dating myself, we had reel-to-reel machines to use to read the books and 
> all
> other kinds of equipment like a typewriter, a Braille writer and more. 
> There
> weren't computers, Victor Reader Streams or any of that stuff and I 
> thought
> spreading all of my stuff all over the room and taking up more than my 
> share
> would be unfair. My dog, slept next to my bed in the center part of the
> suite with the other two women and was never a problem. When I shared
> apartments it was never a problem with my room mates. In fact, one of my
> room mates went to the doctor and he asked her if there were any animals 
> in
> the apartment that she could be allergic to and she said no. Then the 
> doctor
> asked if she wasn't rooming with me and didn't I have a Seeing Eye Dog? 
> She
> said, oh I didn't even think of Vikki as a dog or any other animal. When 
> it
> was in the dorms or apartment buildings my friends all enjoyed my dog 
> along
> with me. There were rules about not petting while in harness but she 
> enjoyed
> many a game of ball down the halls of the dorm and traveled with me and my
> friends everywhere. I have never had anyone tell me that my dogs were not
> well groomed, or that they smelled and they've been welcome pretty much
> anywhere that I have gone. If they weren't and it was a legal issue I
> addressed it, if it was the other persons preference I let them deal with 
> it
> and didn't invade their space and ensured that they did the same with me.
>
> In fact, the last two dogs that I have had to put to sleep have been so 
> well
> accepted by my church that the members of the choir donated money toward
> hymnals and made contributions to the Seeing Eye in their honor. I'd say
> that was acceptance. I'm guessing that you'll work out your issues with 
> your
> parents when you let them see that you are an adult who is capable of
> handling your life and your life decisions. Be gentle with your parents
> though, as the song says "teach your children well, their children's hell
> will slowly go by". In other words, it's probably premature to push the 
> dog
> issue since you don't know yet where you will be. In the mean time, 
> collect
> the facts and meet some folks in the area who are using dogs successfully.
> Then, make your decision based on what's best for you and nicely inform 
> your
> parents. That's what my kids have done. We have the type of relationship
> that my husband and I have always sought to ensure that they have the 
> tools
> to make their own decisions and the understanding that, if they make a
> mistake they can come for help and support whether or not we agree with
> their decision. Talking to your parents on some of these issues will go
> further than talking to us, except for gathering information and facts. 
> Good
> luck.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
> Of Mark J. Cadigan
> Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 7:59 PM
> To: NAGDU Mailing List, the National Association of Guide Dog Users
> Subject: Re: [nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful
>
>
> Thanks all of you for your suggestions. I like both the Seeing Eye, and 
> GDB.
>
> Ware as I live in MA the Seeing Eye is a lot closer. I am a junior in high
> school so I haven't yet decided what college I will be attending. What I 
> do
> know, is I want to be in a big city with access to a good public transit
> network such as the MBTA. I currently take the T to and from places all 
> over
>
> Boston using my cane. Because of this independence I am having difficulty
> explaining to my parents that a dog would only enhance it making me a more
> competent, safer, and faster traveler. Have any of you ever experienced
> complaints about your dog either shedding or smelling bad? Is this a 
> problem
>
> with roommates in college? Like most teenagers my room is never clean for
> long, but it is never that messy. I always take excellent care of all my
> equipment, and don't see how the maintenance of a dog will be a problem. 
> My
> parents seem to have concerns of how I will maintain a dog in college. Any
> thoughts?
>
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Albert J Rizzi" <albert at myblindspot.org>
> To: "'NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users'"
> <nagdu at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 2:29 PM
> Subject: Re: [nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful
>
>
>> First, where are you located? Maybe there is a guide program in your
>> area which would allow you to sort of host a dog for sometime until
>> the guide is matched up with a handler. This would help to introduce
>> your parents to the
>> concepts  and strength having a guide could and would lend to your life.
>> You
>> could also let them know that their role in your life is to make you as
>> completely independent as possible and that the introduction of a guide
>> dog
>> into your life would do just that. you could also play on their 
>> sympathies
>> by letting them know you are looking to be able to walk independently 
>> with
>> friends and thereby depend less on their eyes and more so on your own
>> senses
>> coupled with the security and independence a guide would lend to your
>> life.
>> Where are you intending on going to college? If you are hoping to go 
>> away,
>> your parents would need to understand  that a guide would help you to 
>> move
>> swiftly and securely through a campus ensuring your timely attendance to
>> all
>> your classes. Again, maybe a talk with a teacher/principal  might help
>> advance your crusade.
>>
>> Albert J. Rizzi, M.Ed.
>> CEO/Founder
>> My Blind Spot, Inc.
>> 90 Broad Street - 18th Fl.
>> New York, New York  10004
>> www.myblindspot.org
>> PH: 917-553-0347
>> Fax: 212-858-5759
>> "The person who says it cannot be done, shouldn't interrupt the one
>> who is doing it."
>>
>>
>> Visit us on Facebook LinkedIn
>>
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>> Behalf Of Mark J. Cadigan
>> Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 2:11 PM
>> To: NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users
>> Subject: Re: [nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful
>>
>> Dan W,
>>
>> My mom claims to be terrified of dogs, but yet we have a pet dog.  My
>> parents claim that a guide dog will smell, then I point out that if
>> you take
>>
>> care of it properly it won't. Then I point out people we know with
>> guide dogs that don't smell. My dad's response to this is to tell this
>> story of his friend's son's roommate's friend had a roommate with a
>> smelly guide dog.
>>
>> This happened so long ago, and is so far removed from the situation
>> that I can't see how it possibly has any bearing on the current
>> situation. Also that story is so convoluted that is impossible to
>> verify. And the argument goes on and on Ad nauseam. It is getting to
>> the point that I think they are just attempting to exorcize there
>> ability to make arbitrary decisions.
>>
>>
>>
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "Dan Weiner" <dcwein at dcwein.cnc.net>
>> To: "'NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users'"
>> <nagdu at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 1:33 PM
>> Subject: Re: [nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful
>>
>>
>>> Well, first question is "Is the reason your parents don't support
>>> your idea of getting a dog that they don't like dogs?"--smile.
>>> Second of all, what is your parents objection, I mean presumably you're
>>> the
>>> one who's blind so maybe you might know a little better than they do
>>> whether
>>> a dog would enhance your lifestyle or not.
>>> I'm fortunate that by the time I wanted a dog, my parents had figured 
>>> out
>>> I'd pretty much do what I wanted without permission, so my Dad just 
>>> asked
>>> one or two feeble questions and then left it alone.
>>> He asked "Are you sure a dog will be worth the trouble, how do you know
>>> it'll work out."
>>> I explained that, never having a dog, a guide dog, that is,  I'd need to
>>> find it out for myself and I really wanted to take care of the dog and
>>> was
>>> ready.
>>> When I got home, he admired the dog enormously. But he asked the second
>>> day
>>> back home if the dog really had to go out with us to breakfast. I said 
>>> it
>>> did, when he seemed to balk I said "I love you Dad, and enjoy going out,
>>> but
>>> this is important to me and if you don't want my guide dog than I'm
>>> afraid
>>
>>> I
>>> won't be going".
>>> Dead silence ensued, and the issue never came up again.  As a matter
>>> of fact, my Dad adopted my first hound after he retired and loved
>>> him.  The dog, Grant, even went to my Dad's funeral's The only thing
>>> I wasn't really ready for was the access issues. Being the brilliant
>>> young man I was--smile--it never occurred to me that people would
>>> have issues with a dog, I mean access issues to public places.
>>>
>>> So, tell us more what the problem is and we'll be happy to talk about
>>> it. There are some folks on this list who can be very good role
>>> models and mentors, I wish there had been such a list when I started
>>> out.  But, then I don't think there were such things as computer
>>> lists--smile.
>>>
>>> Good luck
>>>
>>> Dan W. and the Carter Dog
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>>> Behalf
>>> Of Mark J. Cadigan
>>> Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 1:17 PM
>>> To: nagdu at nfbnet.org
>>> Subject: [nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful
>>>
>>> Hello list,
>>>
>>> I am new to this list, and I am thinking of getting a guide dog for
>>> when
>>> I
>>> go to college. The only problem I am having is convincing my parents 
>>> that
>>> a
>>> guide dog is a useful mobility tool.  As you can probably guess, that is
>>> a
>>> large obstacle. I am currently in high school, so I have to abide by my
>>> parent's wishes, or at least for now. What I am asking for is how best 
>>> to
>>> explain to them, that guide dogs are useful mobility tools, that will
>>> enhance my independence rather than detract from it. I have given them
>>> literature, DVDs and have attempted to talk to them. Any instructional
>>> materiel finds its way into the circular file, and they change the
>>> subject
>>> when I talk to them. Any and all suggestions are welcome.
>>>
>>> Thanks
>>> Mark
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>>
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