[nagdu] But so and so lets me pet their dog!

Mon Mar 8 15:58:42 UTC 2010

Tracy,

I hadn't thought of it in exactly those terms, but that is more or less how
I handle things, too.  If we're larking about or have plenty of time in our
travel schedule, I will allow a "controlled greet," meaning I will ask a
person who's obviously aching to respond to Mitzi's come-hither eyes if it's
okay for the dog to greet them.  Or, if they respond first, I will smile and
say, "Okay, Mitzi, you can say hi."  It's a little passive aggressive for my
taste, but it does seem to make further communication with the other person
easier.  I can engage them in conversation and drop little educational
tidbits in and so forth, then call Mitzi back when I'm ready without their
getting all het up about things...  I dunno.  It seems to work, and it keeps
me in charge of the dog.  It seems to be what works best with Mitzi, too, to
get her focus right back to business.

When we're in a hurry or she's in super-distracto mode -- or when I am -- I
will just ask her to leave it when she gets distracted by what I perceive to
be a human.  Then I will smile in the direction of the human (whether I can
see them or not) and say something mild to indicate I don't want the dog
distracted while she's working just then.  But by addressing the dog first,
I'm taking control of the situation without having to then argue with a
ruffled human.

This all works most of the time and everybody's happy as far as I can tell.
When it doesn't work, I just adjust my response on a case-by-case basis to
keep things from getting out of hand.

If someone's interference puts me in danger, I express my fear in a general
way instead of shouting at the person.  I'm afraid my inner redneck comes
out then in the way of earthy vocabulary.  Then again, it does get the point
across.  I may also say, "MITZI!!!" in a loud, squeaky voice.  Silly poodle
is immune to being yelled at, so she doesn't take it personally, just
responds to my fear by going into super-guide mode.  But I figure the other
person doesn't know the sweet doggy isn't feeling verbally abused and will
maybe pay more attention?  I dunno.  Don't care, really.  If it puts us in
danger, I'm more interested in getting us back to safety than in having a
heartfelt, properly conducted confrontation with the person who just messed
us up.  That redneck thing, I guess.  /grin/

Tami Smith-Kinney

-----Original Message-----
From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
Of Tracy Carcione
Sent: Monday, March 08, 2010 6:46 AM
To: NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users
Subject: Re: [nagdu] But so and so lets me pet their dog!

I tend to take the GDB attitude towards petting--I can't really control
people, but I can control my dog.  So I don't get too upset if I find
someone petting my dog, although I may ask them to stop.  I concentrate
instead on keeping my dog from getting excited about the petting.  A GDB
instructor told me that people will usually stop petting a dog who's not
responding.  I'm not sure that's so, but I can keep my dog from crawling
in their lap or bouncing up and down. And usually they do stop petting
pretty quick.
So I guess I'm one of those so-and-so's, because I don't always yell at
people for petting.  There are too many of them.  Life in the big city.
Tracy

> Different people have different ways of dealing wiht this issue. When
> I was young and wiht my first guide, I got all upset with people
> constantly petting my dog and interrupting our rhythm when we were
> walking down the sidewalk. The family can be the most challenging
> people. Back in the mid 90's, my parents got a mini van. There was no
> outward jutting console between the front seats, so there was a good
> place for my guide to lay. He really enjoyed it too. My dad enjoyed it
> too since he often, without thinking, dropped his right hand down and
> started rubbing my guide, especially when sitting at a light. That
> took a long time to correct that behavior. At one point my mom
> wondered why I was getting so upset, so I asked her how she would feel
> if I reached over and started turning the steering wheel back and
> forth. I said I wouldn't do it when she was driving, but just sitting
> at a light. That helped stopped the dog petting behavior.
>
> Fortunatley I haven't been rejected from any cabs yet due to my dog. I
> have been rejected from a Super shuttle shortly after I got my dog,
> with witnesses. But I chose not to follow up with it. I'm with Dan on
> this, if you get a ride from the cabbie, even if they're flurting wiht
> your dog, then that's way better than not getting the ride, or from
> having the cab pull up then drive off for some unknown reason.
>
> Wayne
>
> On 3/7/10, Michelle <m-johnson at bigpond.com> wrote:
>> Ok, what I'd do is tell the people whoever they are, to basically stop
>> deciding what happens to you and your dog. My family pushes me around a
>> bit,
>> only to be helpful, but I make it clear what I will and won't accept
>> from
>> them. It works out well.
>>
>> If your Dad and others keep getting defencive, just ask him how he'd
>> feel if
>> his eyes were closed, and he's using a guide dog, and others are
>> treating
>> him like that? No doubt he might have a different understanding then.
>> Not
>> just your Dad, but others as well. And, tell your Dad and Co, that it's
>> not
>> up to anyone else to decide whether it's ok for your dog to be petted
>> and
>> anything else for that matter, just because So-and-So wants to say that
>> it
>> is. If you have to be, be a little harsh. It's better to cause offence
>> for
>> five minutes than to allow your dogs training to stuff up for life,
>> which
>> would be more devastating, wouldn't it?
>>
>> Best wishes,
>>
>> Michelle and Troy
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "Chasity Jackson" <chasityvanda at charter.net>
>> To: <nagdu at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Monday, March 08, 2010 12:28 AM
>> Subject: [nagdu] But so and so lets me pet their dog!
>>
>>
>>> Yesterday, a friend and I were waiting for a cab at the grocery store.
>>> Apparently the cabby who showed up had driven for us before. He
>>> apparently
>>>
>>> remembered my dog's name. So, while she's still working, and while
>>> she's
>>> actually walking and guiding me, he sticks his hand out in front of her
>>> and says, "Hey Hadley, how ya been?" And starts to pet her. I moved her
>>> away from him and said, "I'm sorry, but she's working." And he got
>>> defensive right away and said, "But so and so has no problem letting me
>>> pet her dog when it's working. What's the big deal?" And when I
>>> explained
>>> that it interfered with her performance and that it was a big
>>> distraction,
>>>
>>> he continued to be defensive, because his model guide dog team is so
>>> and
>>> so and her dog. Well, I happen to know the person he's talking about,
>>> and
>>> I happen to know that she is not at all disciplined in caring for her
>>> dog.
>>>
>>> She lets her dog have table scraps, and tells her dog to speak in
>>> public
>>> and gives it human food treats. So go figure. LOL. But he just couldn't
>>> figure out why I was being so unfair about the situation, after all, if
>>> she did it, what was the harm in it. And what was even more funny was
>>> that
>>>
>>> he actually tried to pull a stupid stunt to get an extra tip. He said,
>>> "Well, so and so tips me herself, and then she's cute about it and
>>> gives
>>> me an additional tip from the dog too. She gave me an extra dollar tip
>>> yesterday from her dog." And I thought, well, don't hold your breath.
>>> LOL.
>>>
>>> A few weeks back, a similar incident happened with another cab driver,
>>> but
>>>
>>> it didn't involve petting. It was the beginning of February, and we had
>>> some snow and ice on the ground. I was at the top of my porch, about to
>>> head down the stairs. This cab driver clapped his hands, whistles to my
>>> dog and says, "Come on," and she starts to get excited and go toward
>>> him.
>>> Had I not been holding onto the rail, I would have easily  fallen down
>>> the
>>>
>>> stairs. So I told him, "Please don't call her. She shouldn't be
>>> listening
>>> to commands from other people. She's only supposed to follow the
>>> directions I give to her. And again, he got very defensive, and said,
>>> "I
>>> was only trying to show her the way." And I said, "You're not supposed
>>> to
>>> show her the way. If you insist on helping, you can tell me which
>>> direction you are in and I will give her the command to go in that
>>> direction. What enraged me more regarding this incident was that later,
>>> I
>>> talked to my dad, and in frustration, I told him about it. My parents
>>> are
>>> not exactly the brightest when it comes to guide dogs versus pets, and
>>> although they understand quite a bit from me, sometimes they don't have
>>> the brightest things to say. So my dad says, "Oh Well, get over it.
>>> That's
>>>
>>> life. Some people are dog lovers and you have to expect that." And then
>>> when I said, "I could have fallen," or, "What if she did that while I
>>> was
>>> crossing the street," my dad just said, that's life, people are dog
>>> lovers, s**t happens."
>>> _______________________________________________
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om
>>
>>
>>
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>
>
> --
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> www.whitecaneday.org
>
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