[nagdu] Body language

Tue Mar 15 19:32:03 UTC 2011

Tami,
Unfortunately, the sighted world still has negative attitudes about blind 
people and our abilities. they have no expectations about us except that we 
are to be cared for.  It isn't as bad now as it was when I was growing up. 
But it is still there.

I was actually told on a job interview that I should just live on welfare 
and have a hobby to pass my days. I was so pissed at that attitude!

As to body language, I can see some of it but not the facial body language 
or eye contact. I can see if someone is slumping or has their arms and legs 
crossed that indicates the person's inability to be open minded to what is 
being discussed at the time they do that body language.  So, I do miss 
social cues alot and rely more on vocal tone.

I do take it upon myself to get feedback from trusted friends as to what I 
am showing with my own body language and have learned alot. I am told that I 
look confident and strong as I walk down the street. I look at a speaker's 
face to show attentivness.

I do hope Julie J. does share what she learns with us! It is a shame that 
wwe don't get taught these things as children - life would be alot easier!

Lyn and Landon
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Tamara Smith-Kinney" <tamara.8024 at comcast.net>
To: "'NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users'" 
<nagdu at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Saturday, March 12, 2011 2:03 PM
Subject: Re: [nagdu] Body language

> Lyn,
>
> I've met a few people who were born blind whose parents taught them about
> using body language, and it seems to make a difference for them in moving
> and accomplishing things in a world populated by mostly sighted people.
>
> I find it fairly odd that this is not something that is taught as part of
> preparation for a vocation or in other training.  I do notice a difference
> between blind people in Oregon who have been through our VR agency and 
> those
> who have been through training at one of the NFB centers.  Does anybody 
> know
> if those centers teach body language along with other skills?  People I've
> met who have been through there convey a fair amount of confidence and 
> ease
> of movement.  Also, I hear more vocal support from them when they're
> talking...  They sound stronger and more confident.  Those who have been
> through Oregon Commission for the Blind sound fairly defeatest and 
> negative,
> or they overcompensate by appearing to boast over small accomplishments in 
> a
> way that puts whomever they're talking to down...  I know that's a
> generality, but it's such a common trend that it's become pretty easy to
> notice.  Having dealt with that agency -- and been dealt with by them -- I
> can see directly where it comes from, too.  Makes my hair stand on end, 
> and
> I'm never sure how to respond.  /smile/  There's a definite and sharp
> difference, though, with those who have been through one of the NFB 
> centers.
>
> Tami Smith-Kinney
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
> Of Lyn Gwizdak
> Sent: Friday, March 11, 2011 11:52 AM
> To: NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users
> Subject: Re: [nagdu] Body language
>
> Julie,
> I'd be interested in what you learn in the body language class. This is
> something blind people don't get taught much - especially those of us born
> blind.
>
> Lyn and Landon
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Julie J" <julielj at neb.rr.com>
> To: "NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users"
> <nagdu at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Friday, March 11, 2011 5:03 AM
> Subject: Re: [nagdu] Body language
>
>
>>I agree with everything you've said.    I'll write back to the list with
>>what I learn.  I think that our body language could be another useful tool
>>in dealing with access issues.  At least it can't hurt. *smile*
>>
>> Julie
>>
>>
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> From: "Lisa Irving" <lirving1234 at cox.net>
>> To: "NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users"
>> <nagdu at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Thursday, March 10, 2011 10:36 PM
>> Subject: Re: [nagdu] Body language
>>
>>
>>> Yeah Julie, there's a lot to be said about body language. That's why 70%
>>> of what we discern from conversations comes from our body language. When
>>> you've completed the workshop, I'd really appreciate it if you'd contact
>>> me off line. I really want to know as much as I can about body language.
>>>
>>> These are some body language movements I've received feedback on. 
>>> Looking
>
>>> down in sighted society is read as lack of self confidence. Looking at
>>> the person; in the direction of their voice and just a tad above, shows
>>> assertiveness, self confidence and interest in what the other person is
>>> saying. Many years ago a secretary ripped into me because I didn't look
>>> in her direction when she spoke to me. She wrongly accused me of being
>>> rude. Blank stares and not much facial expression is perceived as
>>> depressed, stormy and odd. In social situations such as the women's 
>>> Bible
>
>>> study I attend, I try to have an inviting smile. I "gaze" around the
>>> room. I'm not sure if it makes a difference. I figure it beats looking
>>> like I often feel; that is, left out, alone is a sea of chatty and
>>> friendly folks, a bit alienated too. My mother harped at me about 
>>> pulling
>
>>> my shoulders back and standing straight. I later learned not only did 
>>> she
>
>>> care about my posture, she also recognized how odd blind and visually
>>> impaired individuals look when we look at the ground. In my case I used
>>> to do that because I was straining to see. Speaking of straining to see,
>>> I had a very fruitful conversation with a supervisor a few years ago. 
>>> She
>
>>> was bent because she thought I arched my eye brows in disapproval. I
>>> explained to her that some visually impaired folks do this because we're
>>> straining to see. She found the explanation helpful. Her feedback has
>>> helped me to be cognizant about not arching my eye brows. She was also
>>> quite upset with me because when I placed my hand on my hip and leaned
>>> forward on my foot, she perceived me as being defiant. Finally, I was
>>> involved in the production of an inclusion video a few years back. The
>>> videographer spent more time than any of us planned coaching me on not
>>> whipping my head so fast when I looked toward some one. I try to slowly;
>>> not exaggerated, turn my head to one side. He gave me feedback on other
>>> things I was doing that looked out of place. All of this has been quite
>>> helpful.
>>>
>>> When I'm not glaring or scowling I find people are receptive to helping
>>> or interacting with me.
>>>
>>> Lisa and Bernie
>>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>>> From: "Julie J" <julielj at neb.rr.com>
>>> To: "NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users"
>>> <nagdu at nfbnet.org>
>>> Sent: Thursday, March 10, 2011 10:16 AM
>>> Subject: Re: [nagdu] Beyond the Obvious...How Does Your Guide Assist 
>>> You?
>>>
>>>
>>>> Yup,  I was in the pharmacy yesterday picking up meds for Kiddo and the
>>>> cashier asks me where Monty is.  I haven't been in there in months, but
>>>> she always remembers Monty's name.  I'm really tempted to ask if she
>>>> remembers my name, which she doesn't because I've never told her, but 
>>>> so
>
>>>> far I've remained polite.
>>>>
>>>> I don't mind casual conversations about the dog while I'm standing in
>>>> line, riding the elevator or sitting in a waiting room somewhere.  It's
>>>> idle conversation that passes the time.  I do get severely annoyed when
>>>> I'm trying to conduct some sort of business and the person  keeps
>>>> getting distracted by the dog.
>>>>
>>>> I can't think of a single conversation about the dog that has resulted
>>>> in some sort of long term business acquaintance or other beneficial
>>>> relationship.  Mostly people seem to want their curiosity satisfied and
>>>> then we part ways never to meet again.
>>>>
>>>> I'm taking this workshop on body language next month.  I'm very curious
>>>> to see how body language might affect approachability.  I wonder if 
>>>> that
>
>>>> might be part of the reason that some guide dog handlers are approached
>>>> more often, offered more help or experience more access issues.  I 
>>>> think
>
>>>> there are a lot of factors that figure into the equation, but body
>>>> language might be one way we could steer the situation into an 
>>>> agreeable
>
>>>> direction.  it will be interesting.
>>>>
>>>> Julie
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>
>>>
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>>
>>
>>
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