[nagdu] some advice

Tue Sep 13 18:28:00 UTC 2011

Heavens! I hope your daughter feels better soon. You, too. And I do see
where you're coming from! 

And you also take responsibility for your part and your feelings and
wishes in your home. I think it goes without saying that you don't give
Mellie a vote or use her feelings as an excuse... 

I think it's the difference for me; is the other person taking
responsibility for things, or are they just making excuses to control a
blind person's decisions. I can respect the first. But if you're just
making excuses at random, then that's being manipulative. Perhaps it
won't change the result. If I suddenly need a place to live in your neck
of the woods, I'll say hi; knowing your situation and the demands on
your life and your priorities, because you share them openly and
honestly, then it would be very rude of me to even suggest coming into
your household and crashing on your couch with my high-energy poodle.
Wouldn't be fair to you. If I didn't know you as well, and I did ask,
then I would more respect that kind of honesty than some thing about how
the dog might do this or you really believe it's best for me not to have
or get the dog or whatever. Well, either way the result would be that
you wouldn't have some startlingly dislocated person with the problems
that would come with that along with a high energy dog while you're
living your own life and being a mom to your own daughter. Also, the
disrespect the excuses would show me would be as hazardous to a
friendship as would my imposing on you that way on your side. 

So I guess it's a fine point. I'm just using you as an example based on
your message because the likelihood of me ending up needing a place to
live with whoever will take me in on your side of the country are not
that high. /lol/ I have friends here whom I generally visit with outside
their own homes because I prefer to use my dog to get o their side of
town, but they're not comfortable with a dog in their house. They always
offer to welcome her, but if we can get together without my breaching
that boundary, then why would I? Yes, I could leave the dog at home and
use my cane, but the stress on my wrists and arms for a trip that long
would be a problem for me. So, compromise and consideration. I also have
dog-loving friends who will invite Mitzi to come to their house and
play. /lol/ Or their kids love dogs and want Mitzi to come by and play
with them. Which is nice for me, too, because I see my friend, Mitzi
gets more small human exposure, I can enjoy their kids without having to
get up with them at 4 in the morning; they an enjoy having a dog around
without having her in the way when they need to get up with their kid at
4 in the morning. Everybody's happy. /grin/

Tami

On Tue, 2011-09-13 at 15:07 +0000, Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC) wrote: 
> To explain the other side a bit.
> My preschooler daughter loves dogs. So do I.  She also has a cold right now. A few things happen when she has a cold. The first is that she cries more, things that normally don't upset her do.  So I spend a lot of time calming her down.
> Second, she gets into coughing fits that sometimes make her throw up. She's getting better about getting to the potty to throw up, but she doesn't always make it.
> 
> Saturday night, she didn't sleep well.  I was okay with that as I was very excited about the events of the past day and had trouble settling down myself.
> Sunday night, she threw up at like 1 in the morning after a coughing fit, one that I had to listen to and figure out if I could stop it or if this one just had to run its course. So, she throws up, I put her in the tub while husband cleans the floor. I make the mistake of letting her have her bath toys and bubbles. She becomes obsessed with "washing ducky" a task that will *never* end. I finally convince her to get out of the tub by telling her I've never seen tv at two in the morning and wouldn't it be fun to go see what's on.  The tv time was needed because she needed a nebulizer treatment, a treatment that takes a good 20 minutes.  The machine is very loud, so I sit with her partly to provide comfort, partly to monitor that the little monster keeps the mask over her face and stays still.  She was very tired so while I was trying to help her get dressed after her bath, she cried and told me she was cold and wasn't very interested in helping the process go smoothly.
> When she gets colds, she needs at least two 20 treatments a day. She also usually gets an ear infection which means she's in pain.  I've been told by several nurses that the hours between midnight and 4 in the morning are the worst for ill people, they feel pain more and it takes more to comfort them.
> 
> So, I finally get my daughter and myself back to bed after giving her some milk. Needless to say, I barely functioned yesterday.
> Last night was a repeat version of Sunday night, though I was able to speed up the bath process.
> 
> 
> I say all this because if somebody asked me today "Can I get a guide dog and live with you" I'd spaz.  I just don't have it in me now.  The hours between five and eight a.m. were the best sleep we had. A dog barking at that time would have sent me over the edge. A mom doesn't get to go home at the end of the day or night and the past two nights have been long ones at my house.
> 
> Sounds like there are other issues then just the dog, but I say al this to explain that I love dogs, my daughter would love it if a dog came to live with us, and especially if the dog got to go hang out with us when we went out, but as the mom, I say no
> 
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Dan Weiner
> Sent: Tuesday, September 13, 2011 10:48 AM
> To: 'NAGDU Mailing List, the National Association of Guide Dog Users'
> Subject: Re: [nagdu] some advice
> 
> Well, oh my God, adog barking, never heard of such a thing--smile.
> 
> Well, if you need to live with them for whatever reason deal with it as best
> you can but if it were me and I could, I'd get out.
> 
> 
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
> Of Chantel Cuddemi
> Sent: Tuesday, September 13, 2011 10:02 AM
> To: 'NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users'
> Subject: Re: [nagdu] some advice
> 
> I actually changed her diaper once with some verbal prompting since I hadn't
> done it before. The truth is, after Sean and Archie came to visit me just a
> few weeks ago, they told me afterwords that because of how Archie barked and
> scared Lola and because of the shedding, they don't want me living here with
> a guide dog.
> Sean, I'm sorry for bringing this up on list but I had to tell the others
> what was happening.
> Chantel.
> 
> Email: jawsgirl87 at gmail.com
> 
> facebook: jawsgirl87 at gmail.com
> 
> Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/jawsgirl87
> 
> skype: leogirl48
> 
> msn: jawsgirl87 at gmail.com
> 
> aim: scholarmistress
> -----Original Message-----
> From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
> Of Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)
> Sent: Tuesday, September 13, 2011 9:34 AM
> To: 'NAGDU Mailing List, the National Association of Guide Dog Users'
> Subject: Re: [nagdu] some advice
> 
> Because babies move around and so do dogs and you can't always predict what
> they will do.
> The baby is her responsibility yes, but it sounds like she's letting you
> live there. And let's say your dog pees on the floor. While she should tell
> you to get it cleaned up, let's say your in the shower. She's going to clean
> up the mess so baby won't get in it. It's just what we moms do.
> Actually, the model of "Your responsibility and my responsibility" is the
> problem. Everybody lives in the house, everybody takes care of each other.
> Maybe that's the problem? I'd hope that if the baby needed to be held or fed
> or a diaper change, you'd do that if mama was in the middle of something.
> If not, well, the dog is not really the issue here.
> 
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
> Of Cindy Ray
> Sent: Monday, September 12, 2011 3:42 PM
> To: NAGDU Mailing List, the National Association of Guide Dog Users
> Subject: Re: [nagdu] some advice
> 
> Well, the baby is her responsibility, and how would the baby get hurt.
> Anyway, I think that's a good decision on your part.
> On Sep 12, 2011, at 1:05 PM, Chantel Cuddemi wrote:
> 
> > Lisa,
> > There is a baby in the house who is three months old.
> > She's going to start crawling soon and my friend doesn't want her to
> > get hurt. Plus, they don't want to deal with the shedding.
> > I've tried to explain that the dog would be my responsibility and that
> > I'd make sure nothing happened to the baby but I am not going to
> > bother trying anymore. She knows where I stand I know where she stnds so
> I'll move.
> >
> > Email: jawsgirl87 at gmail.com
> >
> > facebook: jawsgirl87 at gmail.com
> >
> > Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/jawsgirl87
> >
> > skype: leogirl48
> >
> > msn: jawsgirl87 at gmail.com
> >
> > aim: scholarmistress
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> > Behalf Of Lisa belville
> > Sent: Monday, September 12, 2011 10:07 AM
> > To: NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users
> > Subject: Re: [nagdu] some advice
> >
> > Hi, chantel.
> >
> > This sounds like a no win situation for you and the future dog.  It
> > sounds like they're not open to learning about dogs, let alone coming
> > to a compromise, so yes, as everyone else has said, it's time to find
> > another place to live and try to move on.  If this person is a good
> > friend,
> forcing
> > the issue might strain the situation further.
> >
> > How old are the "kids" who also voted to not have the dog in their house?
> > Are these adult children with children of their own who will be at the
> house
> >
> > with you and your dog or are they minor children?  I guess this is
> > just a difference in parenting, but I wouldn't have been given the
> > option to have someone who was already living with us voted out of the
> > house because I didn't like something.  It sounds like your friend is
> > a bit apprehensive, and her children are just adding to the fears by
> > putting pressure on her about the thought of a nasty vicious dog in
> > her house.  And yes, that last sentence was sarcasm.
> >
> > Most of the schools are happy to educate friends and family about a
> > dog,
> but
> >
> > even in the best of circumstances, coming home with a new dog is
> > stressful enough without having to worry about how others in the house
> > will react to the dog.  And then there's the whole aspect of a new dog
> > learning the
> rules
> > with a new handler, and this can sometimes give people on the outside
> > the wrong ideas about how guide dogs should behave.
> >
> > I hope you can find a living situation that's more receptive to life
> > with
> a
> > dog.
> >
> > Lisa
> >
> >
> >
> > It seems I have 3 personalities. One that has a plan, one that
> > completely screws up the plan, and one that says "what the hell
> > happened to the
> plan?"
> > Lisa Belville
> > missktlab1217 at frontier.com
> >
> > ----- Original Message -----
> > From: "Chantel Cuddemi" <jawsgirl87 at gmail.com>
> > To: "'NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users'"
> > <nagdu at nfbnet.org>
> > Sent: Friday, September 09, 2011 4:34 PM
> > Subject: [nagdu] some advice
> >
> >
> >> Hi all,
> >>
> >> I need some advice. I am not sure what to do here. I am trying to
> convince
> >> my friend that I am staying with her grandchild won't get hurt by my
> >> future guide dog, but she and her kids have voted against me having
> >> one her at this house.
> >>
> >> Should I consider moving to another area then get a dog? Please help.
> >>
> >> Chantel.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> Email: jawsgirl87 at gmail.com
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> facebook: jawsgirl87 at gmail.com
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/jawsgirl87
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> skype: leogirl48
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> msn: jawsgirl87 at gmail.com
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> aim: scholarmistress
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> _______________________________________________
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> >
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