[nagdu] Why so hard?

[Marsha Drenth]

Juanita, 
Your words even from a new handler are comforting. Its hard for you I am sure to see people like me, who have worked with their pup for a good while, having to retireour guides. Its okay you can't think of retirement now. That is the great thing about our working relationships with our pups, you don't think of retirement. I would just say although you can't imagine that day, enjoy what time you do have, and don't about that day until it comes. 

Again Thank you,

Marsha drenthSent from my iPhone

On Aug 22, 2012, at 9:49 PM, Juanita Herrera <juanitaherrera1991 at gmail.com> wrote:

> Marsha,
> I know that there are no words that anyone can say to relieve your
> pain of retiring Emma. Especially someone like me. What do I know. I
> have never experienced the retirement of a guide dog before, but the
> simple thought of losing Anise makes me shutter. I would probably be
> feeling the same way you are now. I know you will never forget Emma
> and that she'll always hold a special place in your heart. I'm sure
> your new pup will be special in its own way. I wish you the best of
> luck in class.
> Juanita and Anise and Baby Benson
> 
> On 8/22/12, Marsha Drenth <marsha.drenth at gmail.com> wrote:
>> Hi List,
>> 
>> Although I have been writing that Emma is retired, or semi-retired for
>> weeks. And although she hasn't been able to work in a good while. Its
>> official now. She is officially retired. I just continue to say that over
>> and over in myhead, and its not real. *sigh* Why is retiring a guide so
>> hard? I have cried over this so much, and then I think to myself how can I
>> be so attached to this puppy. I feel stupid for crying. But how can one
>> retire a pup without. I know its for the best, for her health, for me, for
>> our stress level. She has not been happy working in several months, and I
>> hate to see her tense because of it. currently she is here with me, and
>> hasn't gone to her retirement home. But to think I'll never leave this
>> house, with her in harness, with her next to me, her protecting me, watching
>> out for me, guiding me. It just makes my heart hurt. This beautiful German
>> Shepard, who has lived in three different states with me, who has traveled
>> on three different college campuses, traveled to numerous cities and places,
>> was in my life at the hardest and the happiness times of my life. She has
>> always been there. My Emma girl, my emmalena. My emma girl who will let
>> babies crawl all over her and not bat an eye lash, who will run, play and
>> jump with my older kids. The girl who has saved my life on numerous
>> occasions, and probably more times that I didn't know about. It just hurts
>> so very very much. Its like you know something in your heart, but your mind
>> hasn't kept up with that thought, and vice versa. Every time I have a
>> birthday I will remember my Emma and the day that we met. It was my present,
>> best one ever. A part of my grief is that I feel like I failed her. Yes she
>> got sick. Which changed her in so many ways. But couldn't I do more, I could
>> have done this or that. Why did I wait so long to to take her to the vet
>> with her EPI. She was a perfect dog for me. This girl had so much energy, so
>> much spunk, she fit me to the T. She absolutely loved working, and now she
>> doesn't. I want that happy, go lucky, spunky girl back!
>> 
>> The why is it so hard question, wasn't one really I needed an answer to. And
>> over the years on this list I have seen lots of pups being retired and their
>> handlers go through the same thing I am now. Yes I have a class date for
>> another pup, but up until then, my mind and heart are going to be with Emma.
>> 
>> 
>> Sorry for the rambling.
>> 
>> Marsha drenthSent from my iPhone
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> 
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