[nagdu] Why so hard?

[t21114 at optonline.net]

Hi Marsha,
Its never easy to retire  a dog. I have been through it and no matter how many dogs you have the ones before the president dog is always in your heart and you m miss them. Emma will always be a part of your life.
Marilyn and Anna


> > Hi List,
> >
> > Although I have been writing that Emma is retired, or semi-
> retired for
> > weeks. And although she hasn't been able to work in a good 
> while. Its
> > official now. She is officially retired. I just continue to 
> say that over
> > and over in myhead, and its not real. *sigh* Why is retiring a 
> guide so
> > hard? I have cried over this so much, and then I think to 
> myself how can I
> > be so attached to this puppy. I feel stupid for crying. But 
> how can one
> > retire a pup without. I know its for the best, for her health, 
> for me, for
> > our stress level. She has not been happy working in several 
> months, and I
> > hate to see her tense because of it. currently she is here 
> with me, and
> > hasn't gone to her retirement home. But to think I'll never 
> leave this
> > house, with her in harness, with her next to me, her 
> protecting me, watching
> > out for me, guiding me. It just makes my heart hurt. This 
> beautiful German
> > Shepard, who has lived in three different states with me, who 
> has traveled
> > on three different college campuses, traveled to numerous 
> cities and places,
> > was in my life at the hardest and the happiness times of my 
> life. She has
> > always been there. My Emma girl, my emmalena. My emma girl who 
> will let
> > babies crawl all over her and not bat an eye lash, who will 
> run, play and
> > jump with my older kids. The girl who has saved my life on numerous
> > occasions, and probably more times that I didn't know about. 
> It just hurts
> > so very very much. Its like you know something in your heart, 
> but your mind
> > hasn't kept up with that thought, and vice versa. Every time I 
> have a
> > birthday I will remember my Emma and the day that we met. It 
> was my present,
> > best one ever. A part of my grief is that I feel like I failed 
> her. Yes she
> > got sick. Which changed her in so many ways. But couldn't I do 
> more, I could
> > have done this or that. Why did I wait so long to to take her 
> to the vet
> > with her EPI. She was a perfect dog for me. This girl had so 
> much energy, so
> > much spunk, she fit me to the T. She absolutely loved working, 
> and now she
> > doesn't. I want that happy, go lucky, spunky girl back!
> >
> > The why is it so hard question, wasn't one really I needed an 
> answer to. And
> > over the years on this list I have seen lots of pups being 
> retired and their
> > handlers go through the same thing I am now. Yes I have a 
> class date for
> > another pup, but up until then, my mind and heart are going to 
> be with Emma.
> >
> >
> > Sorry for the rambling.
> >
> > Marsha drenthSent from my iPhone
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