[nagdu] To Jenny, was Re: Why so hard?

Sun Aug 26 23:10:57 UTC 2012

Happy Anniversary Jenny!

On 8/26/12, Jenny Keller <jlperdue3 at gmail.com> wrote:
> Hi Marcia,
>
> I'll give you the update, and you can post it to the list if you feel it's
> relevant.
>
> I have been walking with a walker now for a week and a half, and only have
> another week and a half to go.
>
> I start physical therapy tomorrow to get the leg fracture stronger.  The
> therapist also wants to work on strengthening my ankle muscles for both
> ankles because I have broken both feet, and now my fractured leg because of
> turning my ankles.
>
> He says that there are muscles and or ligaments or something in my ankles
> that are stretched, so I have to strengthen them so that they will be strong
> enough to handle uneven surfaces.
>
> I don't know when I'll be cleared to start hopping the bus again to go to
> the mall and start building up my stamina and pace to do the interview for
> the school.  But that is the target I'm working toward.
>
> Thank you all for your prayers and thoughts during this time, and I'll keep
> letting you all know what is happening as therapy and building up stamina
> and pace continue.
>
> Good news though, is that I celebrate my first wedding anniversary tomorrow,
> the 27th, and I couldn't have asked for a better man.
>
> Jenny
> On Aug 26, 2012, at 4:00 PM, Marsha Drenth wrote:
>
>> Jenny,
>>
>> your cute. Thank you for the warm words. I do know people care for me on
>> this list. My inbox was over flowing with messages from members of the
>> list on and off list, I am thankful for each and everyone.
>>
>> And while I am thinking about it, any update on the ankle? your guide dog
>> application? I am sure all would like to hear.
>>
>> Always,
>>
>>
>> Marsha drenthSent from my iPhone
>>
>> On Aug 26, 2012, at 12:38 PM, Jenny Keller <jlperdue3 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>>> Hi Marcia,
>>>
>>> I'm sorry this is coming so late.
>>>
>>> You know, I retired Brooks last Easter because he just stopped working
>>> and he let me know that by not guiding me around obstacles anymore.
>>>
>>> It was the hardest thing I've ever done too.  But the reaction from the
>>> school that it was my choice to retire him hurt me even more than his
>>> retirement itself.
>>>
>>> I too, had to let him go to a new family, because I didn't know how fast
>>> I would be getting a new dog from the school I applied for.
>>>
>>> It really messed me up for a while, and I wasn't sure if getting another
>>> dog was the thing I should do.  But after talking to the school I applied
>>> for, I learned things about Brooks and his quirks that he never should've
>>> been given out as a guide.
>>>
>>> That doesn't mean I love him any less.  It doesn't mean the heartache
>>> still isn't there.  It does mean that I know, for a fact, that I did
>>> everything I could do to make it work, and for me, it was doomed from the
>>> beginning.
>>>
>>> I miss him terribly, and wish I could see him.  But I think it would be
>>> confusing to him for him to see me again.
>>>
>>> He's already had to go through the change of a new family, and my popping
>>> up again in his life, I think would confuse him, or make him feel like
>>> I'm abandoning him again when I don't take him home.
>>>
>>> there are so many emotions that go along with retiring a dog.  I feel
>>> what you are feeling in my own way.  I'll never say I feel the same,
>>> cause no one feels the same emotions.
>>>
>>> Just know that whatever you feel, feel free to vent it on this list.
>>>
>>> I know, I sound like a moderator right? *smile*.  Which is funny talking
>>> to the moderator herself, but we all love you, and I hope i don't offend
>>> anyone by speaking for everyone here.
>>>
>>> We'll be here for you no matter what you need to say, or anything else
>>> you need.
>>>
>>> Just let us know.
>>>
>>> You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
>>>
>>> Be blessed in your grief, and know that Heavenly Father knows how you
>>> feel, and that his Son Jesus Christ has felt your pain too through the
>>> atonement.
>>>
>>> blessings,
>>>
>>> Jenny
>>> On Aug 22, 2012, at 8:49 PM, Juanita Herrera wrote:
>>>
>>>> Marsha,
>>>> I know that there are no words that anyone can say to relieve your
>>>> pain of retiring Emma. Especially someone like me. What do I know. I
>>>> have never experienced the retirement of a guide dog before, but the
>>>> simple thought of losing Anise makes me shutter. I would probably be
>>>> feeling the same way you are now. I know you will never forget Emma
>>>> and that she'll always hold a special place in your heart. I'm sure
>>>> your new pup will be special in its own way. I wish you the best of
>>>> luck in class.
>>>> Juanita and Anise and Baby Benson
>>>>
>>>> On 8/22/12, Marsha Drenth <marsha.drenth at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>> Hi List,
>>>>>
>>>>> Although I have been writing that Emma is retired, or semi-retired for
>>>>> weeks. And although she hasn't been able to work in a good while. Its
>>>>> official now. She is officially retired. I just continue to say that
>>>>> over
>>>>> and over in myhead, and its not real. *sigh* Why is retiring a guide
>>>>> so
>>>>> hard? I have cried over this so much, and then I think to myself how
>>>>> can I
>>>>> be so attached to this puppy. I feel stupid for crying. But how can
>>>>> one
>>>>> retire a pup without. I know its for the best, for her health, for me,
>>>>> for
>>>>> our stress level. She has not been happy working in several months, and
>>>>> I
>>>>> hate to see her tense because of it. currently she is here with me,
>>>>> and
>>>>> hasn't gone to her retirement home. But to think I'll never leave this
>>>>> house, with her in harness, with her next to me, her protecting me,
>>>>> watching
>>>>> out for me, guiding me. It just makes my heart hurt. This beautiful
>>>>> German
>>>>> Shepard, who has lived in three different states with me, who has
>>>>> traveled
>>>>> on three different college campuses, traveled to numerous cities and
>>>>> places,
>>>>> was in my life at the hardest and the happiness times of my life. She
>>>>> has
>>>>> always been there. My Emma girl, my emmalena. My emma girl who will
>>>>> let
>>>>> babies crawl all over her and not bat an eye lash, who will run, play
>>>>> and
>>>>> jump with my older kids. The girl who has saved my life on numerous
>>>>> occasions, and probably more times that I didn't know about. It just
>>>>> hurts
>>>>> so very very much. Its like you know something in your heart, but your
>>>>> mind
>>>>> hasn't kept up with that thought, and vice versa. Every time I have a
>>>>> birthday I will remember my Emma and the day that we met. It was my
>>>>> present,
>>>>> best one ever. A part of my grief is that I feel like I failed her. Yes
>>>>> she
>>>>> got sick. Which changed her in so many ways. But couldn't I do more, I
>>>>> could
>>>>> have done this or that. Why did I wait so long to to take her to the
>>>>> vet
>>>>> with her EPI. She was a perfect dog for me. This girl had so much
>>>>> energy, so
>>>>> much spunk, she fit me to the T. She absolutely loved working, and now
>>>>> she
>>>>> doesn't. I want that happy, go lucky, spunky girl back!
>>>>>
>>>>> The why is it so hard question, wasn't one really I needed an answer
>>>>> to. And
>>>>> over the years on this list I have seen lots of pups being retired and
>>>>> their
>>>>> handlers go through the same thing I am now. Yes I have a class date
>>>>> for
>>>>> another pup, but up until then, my mind and heart are going to be with
>>>>> Emma.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Sorry for the rambling.
>>>>>
>>>>> Marsha drenthSent from my iPhone
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>>>>
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-- 
warmly,

Debbie Cole

debbieanne1124 at gmail.com