[nagdu] To Jenny, was Re: Why so hard?

Jenny Keller jlperdue3 at gmail.com
Mon Aug 27 01:11:16 UTC 2012 

Hi Debbie,

thank you so much.  We've gone through a hard year, but we made it.  

He has even been baptized into the church and in about a year, less than actually, we'll be able to be sealed in the Temple.

I'm so very excited and love going to church and sitting there in worship with my Husband.

Jenny
On Aug 26, 2012, at 6:10 PM, Debbie Cole wrote:

> Happy Anniversary Jenny!
> 
> On 8/26/12, Jenny Keller <jlperdue3 at gmail.com> wrote:
>> Hi Marcia,
>> 
>> I'll give you the update, and you can post it to the list if you feel it's
>> relevant.
>> 
>> I have been walking with a walker now for a week and a half, and only have
>> another week and a half to go.
>> 
>> I start physical therapy tomorrow to get the leg fracture stronger.  The
>> therapist also wants to work on strengthening my ankle muscles for both
>> ankles because I have broken both feet, and now my fractured leg because of
>> turning my ankles.
>> 
>> He says that there are muscles and or ligaments or something in my ankles
>> that are stretched, so I have to strengthen them so that they will be strong
>> enough to handle uneven surfaces.
>> 
>> I don't know when I'll be cleared to start hopping the bus again to go to
>> the mall and start building up my stamina and pace to do the interview for
>> the school.  But that is the target I'm working toward.
>> 
>> Thank you all for your prayers and thoughts during this time, and I'll keep
>> letting you all know what is happening as therapy and building up stamina
>> and pace continue.
>> 
>> Good news though, is that I celebrate my first wedding anniversary tomorrow,
>> the 27th, and I couldn't have asked for a better man.
>> 
>> Jenny
>> On Aug 26, 2012, at 4:00 PM, Marsha Drenth wrote:
>> 
>>> Jenny,
>>> 
>>> your cute. Thank you for the warm words. I do know people care for me on
>>> this list. My inbox was over flowing with messages from members of the
>>> list on and off list, I am thankful for each and everyone.
>>> 
>>> And while I am thinking about it, any update on the ankle? your guide dog
>>> application? I am sure all would like to hear.
>>> 
>>> Always,
>>> 
>>> 
>>> Marsha drenthSent from my iPhone
>>> 
>>> On Aug 26, 2012, at 12:38 PM, Jenny Keller <jlperdue3 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>> 
>>>> Hi Marcia,
>>>> 
>>>> I'm sorry this is coming so late.
>>>> 
>>>> You know, I retired Brooks last Easter because he just stopped working
>>>> and he let me know that by not guiding me around obstacles anymore.
>>>> 
>>>> It was the hardest thing I've ever done too.  But the reaction from the
>>>> school that it was my choice to retire him hurt me even more than his
>>>> retirement itself.
>>>> 
>>>> I too, had to let him go to a new family, because I didn't know how fast
>>>> I would be getting a new dog from the school I applied for.
>>>> 
>>>> It really messed me up for a while, and I wasn't sure if getting another
>>>> dog was the thing I should do.  But after talking to the school I applied
>>>> for, I learned things about Brooks and his quirks that he never should've
>>>> been given out as a guide.
>>>> 
>>>> That doesn't mean I love him any less.  It doesn't mean the heartache
>>>> still isn't there.  It does mean that I know, for a fact, that I did
>>>> everything I could do to make it work, and for me, it was doomed from the
>>>> beginning.
>>>> 
>>>> I miss him terribly, and wish I could see him.  But I think it would be
>>>> confusing to him for him to see me again.
>>>> 
>>>> He's already had to go through the change of a new family, and my popping
>>>> up again in his life, I think would confuse him, or make him feel like
>>>> I'm abandoning him again when I don't take him home.
>>>> 
>>>> there are so many emotions that go along with retiring a dog.  I feel
>>>> what you are feeling in my own way.  I'll never say I feel the same,
>>>> cause no one feels the same emotions.
>>>> 
>>>> Just know that whatever you feel, feel free to vent it on this list.
>>>> 
>>>> I know, I sound like a moderator right? *smile*.  Which is funny talking
>>>> to the moderator herself, but we all love you, and I hope i don't offend
>>>> anyone by speaking for everyone here.
>>>> 
>>>> We'll be here for you no matter what you need to say, or anything else
>>>> you need.
>>>> 
>>>> Just let us know.
>>>> 
>>>> You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
>>>> 
>>>> Be blessed in your grief, and know that Heavenly Father knows how you
>>>> feel, and that his Son Jesus Christ has felt your pain too through the
>>>> atonement.
>>>> 
>>>> blessings,
>>>> 
>>>> Jenny
>>>> On Aug 22, 2012, at 8:49 PM, Juanita Herrera wrote:
>>>> 
>>>>> Marsha,
>>>>> I know that there are no words that anyone can say to relieve your
>>>>> pain of retiring Emma. Especially someone like me. What do I know. I
>>>>> have never experienced the retirement of a guide dog before, but the
>>>>> simple thought of losing Anise makes me shutter. I would probably be
>>>>> feeling the same way you are now. I know you will never forget Emma
>>>>> and that she'll always hold a special place in your heart. I'm sure
>>>>> your new pup will be special in its own way. I wish you the best of
>>>>> luck in class.
>>>>> Juanita and Anise and Baby Benson
>>>>> 
>>>>> On 8/22/12, Marsha Drenth <marsha.drenth at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>> Hi List,
>>>>>> 
>>>>>> Although I have been writing that Emma is retired, or semi-retired for
>>>>>> weeks. And although she hasn't been able to work in a good while. Its
>>>>>> official now. She is officially retired. I just continue to say that
>>>>>> over
>>>>>> and over in myhead, and its not real. *sigh* Why is retiring a guide
>>>>>> so
>>>>>> hard? I have cried over this so much, and then I think to myself how
>>>>>> can I
>>>>>> be so attached to this puppy. I feel stupid for crying. But how can
>>>>>> one
>>>>>> retire a pup without. I know its for the best, for her health, for me,
>>>>>> for
>>>>>> our stress level. She has not been happy working in several months, and
>>>>>> I
>>>>>> hate to see her tense because of it. currently she is here with me,
>>>>>> and
>>>>>> hasn't gone to her retirement home. But to think I'll never leave this
>>>>>> house, with her in harness, with her next to me, her protecting me,
>>>>>> watching
>>>>>> out for me, guiding me. It just makes my heart hurt. This beautiful
>>>>>> German
>>>>>> Shepard, who has lived in three different states with me, who has
>>>>>> traveled
>>>>>> on three different college campuses, traveled to numerous cities and
>>>>>> places,
>>>>>> was in my life at the hardest and the happiness times of my life. She
>>>>>> has
>>>>>> always been there. My Emma girl, my emmalena. My emma girl who will
>>>>>> let
>>>>>> babies crawl all over her and not bat an eye lash, who will run, play
>>>>>> and
>>>>>> jump with my older kids. The girl who has saved my life on numerous
>>>>>> occasions, and probably more times that I didn't know about. It just
>>>>>> hurts
>>>>>> so very very much. Its like you know something in your heart, but your
>>>>>> mind
>>>>>> hasn't kept up with that thought, and vice versa. Every time I have a
>>>>>> birthday I will remember my Emma and the day that we met. It was my
>>>>>> present,
>>>>>> best one ever. A part of my grief is that I feel like I failed her. Yes
>>>>>> she
>>>>>> got sick. Which changed her in so many ways. But couldn't I do more, I
>>>>>> could
>>>>>> have done this or that. Why did I wait so long to to take her to the
>>>>>> vet
>>>>>> with her EPI. She was a perfect dog for me. This girl had so much
>>>>>> energy, so
>>>>>> much spunk, she fit me to the T. She absolutely loved working, and now
>>>>>> she
>>>>>> doesn't. I want that happy, go lucky, spunky girl back!
>>>>>> 
>>>>>> The why is it so hard question, wasn't one really I needed an answer
>>>>>> to. And
>>>>>> over the years on this list I have seen lots of pups being retired and
>>>>>> their
>>>>>> handlers go through the same thing I am now. Yes I have a class date
>>>>>> for
>>>>>> another pup, but up until then, my mind and heart are going to be with
>>>>>> Emma.
>>>>>> 
>>>>>> 
>>>>>> Sorry for the rambling.
>>>>>> 
>>>>>> Marsha drenthSent from my iPhone
>>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>> 
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>>>> 
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>> 
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> 
> 
> -- 
> warmly,
> 
> Debbie Cole
> 
> debbieanne1124 at gmail.com
> 
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