[nagdu] could have, would have, should have

[Criminal Justice Major]

hi, Daniel,
This is Bibi and retired Pilot Dogs guide dog son Odie from Denver, 
Colorado.
Feel free to send me an email off list anytime at:
orleans24 at comcast.net
Please don't beat yourself over it and don't take it hard on yourself 
either.
I've had a mismatch which I tried to work with the dog for seven months.
Yes, I experienced the same devastation too, but it was much rougher during 
training when I got Odie.
I had to retire Freedom David Berry the same day I ended up getting Odie 
Harley Davidson five and a half hours later.
I'll admit that the director of training at Pilot wasn't too positive and he 
was very negative where he just wanted me to give up on Freedom and send him 
back.
The rest of the staff at Pilot didn't see it his way.
They encouraged me to try different techniques and I also went as far as to 
enroll him into obedience training classes at Petsmart, more because he was 
very skittish of noises.
The executive director of Pilot Dogs told me he was taking full 
responsibility for what had happened upon stating that Freedom should have 
never been allowed to be a guide dog in the first place because of the type 
of environment he was raised in.
Freedom was raised in a PBB (Puppy Behind Bars) program in a female setting 
prison.
He wasn't fond of men and he'd growl at them if felt threatened which 
majority of the time, it wasn't necessary.
My father began to suspect that Freedom had been beaten by a man, causing 
the dog to be intimidated.
Freedom David Berry took to very few men and sadly, it stayed that way.
Once I ended up with Odie, things slowly began to look up, despite that I 
still had painful feelings of letting Freedom go.
When I did talk with the executive director during the last week of training 
at Pilot, I told him that I felt like I was a total failure that I failed 
Freedom David Berry completely.
He reassured me I wasn't a failure and explained the only reason why he had 
me come back to retrain with another guide dog was that I didn't give up and 
continued to keep trying regardless of how stressful it was.
Confession time. I almost wanted to pack up my belongs and leave without 
another guide dog, more because Odie decided to be a big brat during 
training and he definitely gave me a run for my money.
I look back now and it was really worth it.
I would definitely encourage you to get another guide dog, but allow 
yourself to have some grieving time.
Take your time grieving for how long you need to.
you may also want to look into other guide dog schools as there are many 
others to choose from and what will fit your needs.
Guide dog users aren't the only ones who go through that agonizing feeling 
too as I've seen others with different types of service dogs experience 
mismatches or where the dog simply just just doesn't want to be a working 
dog.
My friend Amanda Dreher experienced it with her first hearing dog, Buddy.
She said that although he was a smart dog and International Hearing Dogs did 
admit to putting out a dog who should have not been put out as a service 
dog, she tried everything and didn't give up.
She's on her second hearing dog, a Wheaton/caron terior mix who has been her 
ears for three years and the match has worked out well for the two of them.
Although words don't really help anyone heal from a painful experience as 
this one, we're all here for you and remember that good things do come out 
of a negative impact.
Bibi, husband Dale and Odie
medical alert service dog
the happy spirited bounty labra wolf