[nagdu] When is the Connection Too Much?

Wed Jan 11 14:04:53 UTC 2012

For me its situational.  I consider many things.  For instance, do I really 
want to be friends with a person.  Also, do my dogs like them.  Will I need 
Holly to get around or am I just taking her to keep her from getting bored. 
Time also plays a part.  If I'm going to be gone a short time, well, Holly 
can stay.  The weather also plays a part.  If its really hot and the picnic 
is outside, Holly could stay.  If there is shade and maybe other dogs, she 
comes.  I also consider conditions when using my cane as well.  I keep a 
folding one in my backpack which use when going shopping or something.  My 
NFB cane comes with me if I'm walking a lot without Holly.
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Julie J." <julielj at neb.rr.com>
To: "NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users" 
<nagdu at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Wednesday, January 11, 2012 8:40 AM
Subject: Re: [nagdu] When is the Connection Too Much?


> Dan, you are too funny!
>
> I don't have all the answers, actually I don't think I have any. *smile* 
> My point is just that we get guide dogs to make our life better.  If you 
> lose all your friends and family over the dog, has life improved?  Maybe, 
> I guess that depends on your brand of friends and family. *smile*  Where 
> to draw the line is most certainly a personal choice.  I'm personally not 
> willing to sacrifice the friends and family I associate with over the dog.
>
> JMO
> Julie
>
>
>
>
>
>
> On 1/10/2012 10:56 PM, Dan Weiner wrote:
>> Well, I can't resist. Julie, since you think a signature with a dog's 
>> name
>> is over the top, then I cordially sign this note:
>>
>> Dan and the Carter Nut, His royal Goofiness, President Carter, Sergeant
>> Carter, etcetera etcetera and ad infinitum--lol
>>
>> As far as people who break of friendships because of not being welcomed 
>> in a
>> car or house, I can see it both ways.
>> Your dog is your main means of mobility and thee does come a point at 
>> which
>> you need to draw the line in terms of people not letting you bring your 
>> main
>> means of mobility.
>>
>> Where that line is however is an individual choice.
>>
>> So, then this brings up an enjoyable and perhaps enlightening discussion
>> topic.
>> What do our list friends do when your told not to bring the dog in 
>> someone's
>> car or house...what if it's a situation for example, where you feel you'd
>> need the doggie for your mobility, awfully easy to just trust in others
>> judgment.
>> Do you:
>> 1. do whatever anyone tells you, sacrifice your comfort and whip out your
>> handy cane because all people should be conversant in using the very very
>> very very very long NFB style cane and you'd just hate to be an
>> inconvenience to anyone whatsoever and after all it's their car and dogs
>> shed and it's so easy to understand why they wouldn't want your dog
>> there?---note slight sardonic tone
>> ?--smile.
>> 2. Discuss patiently or argue the point.
>> 3. Put your foot down.
>> 4. Feel too shy to do anything about it and just go along.
>> Or not want to make a scene but just don't' continue the friendship or 
>> not
>> go to the meeting.
>>
>> I have in my years done all of those--smile
>>
>> I find that I feel better about myself if I'm more assertive about what 
>> my
>> needs and comfort level is rather than just meekly doing what people tell
>> me, even if I don't get my way I at least stood up for myself and wasn't 
>> a
>> shrinking violet.
>>
>> Some people, in arguments about your dog and you will say things like" 
>> well,
>> you don't really need that dog, do you, you can do just fine with out 
>> him."
>> Or "don't worry,  I'll guide you".
>> Those are usually phrases whipped out to avoid them saying "we don't want
>> your guide dog in our car or on our hallowed ground" because they're 
>> afraid
>> of seeming petty or heartless, which, depending on the person, they may 
>> or
>> may not be.
>> Or also, the guilt trip: Well, you're being pretty selfish, not everyone
>> likes dogs and it's an imposition on us to have your dog and why can't 
>> you
>> leave him." another quote I've been treated to.
>>
>> All I can wonder is, though, where are these blind guide dog users 
>> getting
>> their friends,  I mean, these the users who'll say "all my friends
>> absolutely have no problem with my dog around"
>> Are they:
>> 1. luckier than I am
>> 2. more assertive than I am
>> 3 just eliminate people who can't see reason.4.
>> Surround themselves with animal lovers?
>> 5. not really be telling the whole truth.
>> 6. really charming, or possibly downright pushy.
>>
>>
>> I, as usual, have more to say, most of it quite sarcastic and a bit 
>> funny,
>> but I'll stop for now as my fingers are getting tired.
>>
>> Oh so here goes:
>>
>> Dan the man, Carter the nut For clarification, I'm Dan as we can attest 
>> to
>> by the fact that I refer to myself as "Dan the man" implying membership 
>> in
>> the human race, at least after my morning coffee
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On 
>> Behalf
>> Of Julie J.
>> Sent: Tuesday, January 10, 2012 10:39 PM
>> To: NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users
>> Subject: Re: [nagdu] When is the Connection Too Much?
>>
>> I figure it's my house and if I want to let the dogs wander about free, 
>> then
>> that's my prerogative.  Now, in all fairness I do like to have my friends
>> back for repeat visits, so I make sure the dogs are behaving 
>> appropriately.
>> *smile*  dinner at home is no different than dinner in a restaurant in
>> regard to the dog's behavior.  They have two choices, so I guess it's a 
>> tad
>> different.  Anyway they can lay quietly under the table or next to my 
>> chair
>> or they can be in a different room doing whatever it is they want to do.
>> Monty usually lays on the floor by me, while Belle prefers to enjoy
>> stretching out on the couch.
>>
>> I do agree with the original thought that some people are over the top 
>> about
>> their guide dogs.  The dog's name in the signature line is one that
>> particularly bugs me, especially when it's not clear whose the person and
>> whose the dog.  I think it's sad that some people break off good 
>> friendships
>> or family relationships because the friend or family member doesn't want 
>> the
>> dog in their home or car.  I get that not all situations are the same and
>> there are all sorts of factors that need to be considered.  I've also 
>> known
>> of guide dog users who go to extraordinary measures to limit their
>> employment to only situations that are absolutely perfect for the dog.
>> Usually this means the person remains unemployed.
>>
>> I don't know though.  What makes perfect sense to me might be the 
>> perfectly
>> wrong thing for the next person.  As long as it's not illegal or 
>> blatantly
>> dangerous I try to remind myself to live and let live. It's still a work 
>> in
>> progress. *smile*
>>
>> Julie
>>
>>
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>
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