[nagdu] When is the Connection Too Much?

[Lyn Gwizdak]

Yes, good topic!

Here, people don't seem to go to each other's homes very often as we do most 
of our sociaizing elswhere like our blind center or in our groups and clubs. 
The friends whose homes i go to have guide dogs themselves so Landon is no 
problem there.  For family, I either go to my parent's home or my brother's 
home.

Because Landon likes to find too much trouble to get into, when in another 
home other than our own, I keep Landon either with me on his leash or tied 
up to a heavy coffee table when we eat dinner.  There is no room under the 
dining table for Landon because the events are large family gatherings and 
the dining rooms are small.  But, Landon can both see me or hear me and he's 
fine in the living room.

My parents have a cat and there are cat toys all over and Landon would shred 
those.  At my brother's home, there are chickens, a horse, two dogs, a large 
parrot, and three snakes and the rats to feed them with.  When Landon had 
freedom there, he ate horse crap, chicken crap, fuzz off of tennis balls he 
found in the yard.  He came inside and ate crap and seed hulls that got 
dropped into the tray beneath the parrot's stand.  As a result, Landon 
became very sick with the squirts for two weeks that resulted in a vet visit 
and medication to stop the squirts.  That was expensive trouble for Landon 
to get into.

I have never been asked to leave my dog at home by any family member or 
friend.  If my dog is left behind, It is totally my decision.  Guess I'm 
lucky!  If I am going to someone's home who I don't know - such as our 
Democratic club's Christmas party was held at the home of a member that I 
didn't know.  We have over 300 members but only a small portion of that 
membership comes to the monthly meetings.  In that case, I did ask if there 
was a problem in me having my dog with me.  I had no idea if there was any 
household member who had animal allergies, or any other reason they would 
rather not have the dog there.  Turns out there was no problem in my dog 
being there.  I never went to that party because I was sick and had to miss 
it!

I do have a friend who had a family member who just didn't want the dog at 
the house.  My friend said that this family member couldn't deal with the 
blindness and the dog, period.  My friend is a good dog handler and her dogs 
are always clean and well behaved.  So my friend said to her family member, 
"If my dog isn't welcome, then I'm not welcome either."

Guess I lucked out and have dog loving friends and family!

Lyn and Landon
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Dan Weiner" <dcwein at dcwein.cnc.net>
To: "'NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users'" 
<nagdu at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Tuesday, January 10, 2012 8:56 PM
Subject: Re: [nagdu] When is the Connection Too Much?


> Well, I can't resist. Julie, since you think a signature with a dog's name
> is over the top, then I cordially sign this note:
>
> Dan and the Carter Nut, His royal Goofiness, President Carter, Sergeant
> Carter, etcetera etcetera and ad infinitum--lol
>
> As far as people who break of friendships because of not being welcomed in 
> a
> car or house, I can see it both ways.
> Your dog is your main means of mobility and thee does come a point at 
> which
> you need to draw the line in terms of people not letting you bring your 
> main
> means of mobility.
>
> Where that line is however is an individual choice.
>
> So, then this brings up an enjoyable and perhaps enlightening discussion
> topic.
> What do our list friends do when your told not to bring the dog in 
> someone's
> car or house...what if it's a situation for example, where you feel you'd
> need the doggie for your mobility, awfully easy to just trust in others
> judgment.
> Do you:
> 1. do whatever anyone tells you, sacrifice your comfort and whip out your
> handy cane because all people should be conversant in using the very very
> very very very long NFB style cane and you'd just hate to be an
> inconvenience to anyone whatsoever and after all it's their car and dogs
> shed and it's so easy to understand why they wouldn't want your dog
> there?---note slight sardonic tone
> ?--smile.
> 2. Discuss patiently or argue the point.
> 3. Put your foot down.
> 4. Feel too shy to do anything about it and just go along.
> Or not want to make a scene but just don't' continue the friendship or not
> go to the meeting.
>
> I have in my years done all of those--smile
>
> I find that I feel better about myself if I'm more assertive about what my
> needs and comfort level is rather than just meekly doing what people tell
> me, even if I don't get my way I at least stood up for myself and wasn't a
> shrinking violet.
>
> Some people, in arguments about your dog and you will say things like" 
> well,
> you don't really need that dog, do you, you can do just fine with out 
> him."
> Or "don't worry,  I'll guide you".
> Those are usually phrases whipped out to avoid them saying "we don't want
> your guide dog in our car or on our hallowed ground" because they're 
> afraid
> of seeming petty or heartless, which, depending on the person, they may or
> may not be.
> Or also, the guilt trip: Well, you're being pretty selfish, not everyone
> likes dogs and it's an imposition on us to have your dog and why can't you
> leave him." another quote I've been treated to.
>
> All I can wonder is, though, where are these blind guide dog users getting
> their friends,  I mean, these the users who'll say "all my friends
> absolutely have no problem with my dog around"
> Are they:
> 1. luckier than I am
> 2. more assertive than I am
> 3 just eliminate people who can't see reason.4.
> Surround themselves with animal lovers?
> 5. not really be telling the whole truth.
> 6. really charming, or possibly downright pushy.
>
>
> I, as usual, have more to say, most of it quite sarcastic and a bit funny,
> but I'll stop for now as my fingers are getting tired.
>
> Oh so here goes:
>
> Dan the man, Carter the nut For clarification, I'm Dan as we can attest to
> by the fact that I refer to myself as "Dan the man" implying membership in
> the human race, at least after my morning coffee
>
>
>
>
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
> Of Julie J.
> Sent: Tuesday, January 10, 2012 10:39 PM
> To: NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users
> Subject: Re: [nagdu] When is the Connection Too Much?
>
> I figure it's my house and if I want to let the dogs wander about free, 
> then
> that's my prerogative.  Now, in all fairness I do like to have my friends
> back for repeat visits, so I make sure the dogs are behaving 
> appropriately.
> *smile*  dinner at home is no different than dinner in a restaurant in
> regard to the dog's behavior.  They have two choices, so I guess it's a 
> tad
> different.  Anyway they can lay quietly under the table or next to my 
> chair
> or they can be in a different room doing whatever it is they want to do.
> Monty usually lays on the floor by me, while Belle prefers to enjoy
> stretching out on the couch.
>
> I do agree with the original thought that some people are over the top 
> about
> their guide dogs.  The dog's name in the signature line is one that
> particularly bugs me, especially when it's not clear whose the person and
> whose the dog.  I think it's sad that some people break off good 
> friendships
> or family relationships because the friend or family member doesn't want 
> the
> dog in their home or car.  I get that not all situations are the same and
> there are all sorts of factors that need to be considered.  I've also 
> known
> of guide dog users who go to extraordinary measures to limit their
> employment to only situations that are absolutely perfect for the dog.
> Usually this means the person remains unemployed.
>
> I don't know though.  What makes perfect sense to me might be the 
> perfectly
> wrong thing for the next person.  As long as it's not illegal or blatantly
> dangerous I try to remind myself to live and let live. It's still a work 
> in
> progress. *smile*
>
> Julie
>
>
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