[nagdu] I did it!

NCBootman ncbootman at gmail.com
Wed Jul 11 17:59:04 UTC 2012 

Now, you are developing a plan. Good job! Get the paperwork so your husband 
can take FMLA time if he needs to, talk to all the other folks who can 
potentially help, don't forget to be thinking about what you'll do for 
lessons for the girls since you homeschool, and have confidence. If husband 
knows others will be helping, it won't be as big a stress for him. Even 
consider little things like can another neighbor or relative fix dinner or 
some other chore to help pick up some of your normal duties a time or two. 
If he sees that this is important enough to plan ahead, it will make him 
feel better when he does his part. Then, it's his part, not all. Maybe he 
could even ask for some assistance from a co-worker so he could go into the 
office a weekend day or evening while another person takes care of the 
family.Spread all the love around.

Take paper and figure out who might be able to help and what they might be 
able to do. Get the team onboard now for when it happens and get that 
application in. Have all the options you can and sit down with husband and 
get input on what will help him. He may say he refuses to eat your mama's 
yuck stuff but maybe he'd like to have help with the laundry. This is a team 
effort. Think of it as a special time for your family. Work with the girls 
so they can take more responsibility while mom is away whatever that means 
for their age. Let everyone get as excited about this new dog as you will 
be. When a mother used to go to the hospital to have a baby, relatives, 
church, family members, all had to pitch in. Same thing, just looks real 
different lol. If you are confident and not stressed, everybody else will be 
and your training will go easier too.

Greg

-----Original Message----- 
From: Shannon Wells
Sent: Wednesday, July 11, 2012 1:25 PM
To: NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users
Subject: Re: [nagdu] I did it!

Marsha, I am going to talk to my sister who is in college this coming fall 
but who is living very close by, but she won't know until she gets her 
schedule. Of course, I haven't even been accepted, so I'm probably jumping 
the gun, here. It's just a major concern. Once I get an actual acceptance 
and an idea when class will be, I'll be talking to everyone around, so I'm 
bound to get it figured out. Thanks.
Shannon
On Jul 11, 2012, at 11:59 AM, Marsha Drenth wrote:

> Shannon,
>
> Is there another homeschooling family that could watch the girls during 
> the
> day? Or another church family that could do that same? At least if they go
> to another home schooling family, they might continue their studies. I am
> assuming your hubby can't do work from home? Have you thought about going 
> to
> a guide dog program that does all in home training? This would solve the
> issue with hubby not being able to take off from work, but you would still
> need to set aside time with someone to watch the girls to do the training.
>
> I am sure in the long run everything will work out, Good Luck!
> Marsha
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
> Of Shannon Wells
> Sent: Wednesday, July 11, 2012 11:29 AM
> To: NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users
> Subject: Re: [nagdu] I did it!
>
> I didn't say anything about my husband's family, because they do not 
> factor
> in. They are not available and I wouldn't want most of them to be. My
> husband isn't the bad guy and I never said he was. His biggest concern 
> about
> taking the time off is that there is no one there at present to fill his
> shoes, and he would have a huge amount of catching up to do. I'm not 
> trying
> to sound like I'm praying he will do what I want. I guess it came across
> that way, because right now, that is the only solution I can see. I get
> impatient sometimes, so I'm sorry if it came across that my husband and I
> were arguing, because we're not. No one is mad at anyone. I believe he
> understands how important it is to me, and I understand how important his
> job is to him. The thing I keep telling myself is if it's meant to be, it
> will and if it's not, it won't.
> Shannon Wells
> On Jul 11, 2012, at 10:19 AM, Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC) wrote:
>
>> Shannon,
>> Prayer works, though it sounds like you are praying that your husband do
> what you want and that sort of thing never ends well.
>> Staying home for two or three weeks is a long time. It's not like a day 
>> or
> two with a sick kid.
>> It's difficult on coworkers and on any work projects he's doing. It's 
>> very
> difficult to catch up when he gets back.
>> His boss may give him the time under FMLA though that depends on if his
> company offers that type of leave.
>> If his company does offer FMLA, he will need to think about whether or 
>> not
> this is a good use of that leave. He may feel that it is not.
>>
>>
>> You mention having a sister that may keep the girls. That will also be
> disruptive. You still won't be around and they will know that. It's really
> no different then a nanny or even a daycare.  Depending on their ages,
> getting them in for a couple weeks will be a piece of cake. Daycares do 
> some
> neat stuff with kids these days so they may really enjoy it.  Either way,
> you won't be home. This isn't worth hanging your husband up as the bad 
> guy.
>
>>
>> You did not mention his family as an option for looking after the girls.
> Any reason why not?
>>
>> Be very careful with the argument "If you aren't willing to stay home, 
>> you
> shouldn't have kids".  The kids are here and unless I'm missing something,
> it sounds like he's an involved dad.  He just isn't doing what you want 
> when
> you want.  Using this argument in this situation is unfair and unkind.  He
> may need or want to be at work just as badly as you need or want a dog.
>>
>> Also, be careful too with your dog application.  Fine to go ahead and 
>> fill
> it out, not fine to present him as the mean monster who is keeping me from
> getting a dog.  You are setting him up to fail.
>>
>> This is a stressful time for all of you. Why fight with your husband when
> you don't need to? You have many many ways to solve this problem.
>>
>> You will need your husband to be on-board with this dog especially when
> the team is new. You are trying to get what you want in a very ugly 
> manner.
> That won't bode well for your new dog or your marriage.
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On 
>> Behalf
> Of Shannon Wells
>> Sent: Wednesday, July 11, 2012 9:45 AM
>> To: NAGDU Mailing List, the National Association of Guide Dog Users
>> Subject: Re: [nagdu] I did it!
>>
>> Well, IMHO prayer always works. My girls have never been in daycare and
> never had a nanny. My mom works for the school board so is not available.
> Other family members either work, attend college over an hour away or just
> won't keep them. I'm a homeschooler, as I've said, so my kids are used to
> being here with me all the time. I do have a sister who might be able to
> work out a schedule with my husband, though. As for whether he would want 
> to
> stay home with them, my opinion on that is, if you don't want to stay home
> sometimes with your kids, then don't have any. I want another dog very 
> much,
> but my girls come first, at least for now.
>> Shannon wElls .
>> On Jul 11, 2012, at 9:22 AM, Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC) wrote:
>>
>>> Why does your husband need to be home with the girls?
>>> Could grandma or a family friend do this?
>>> Maybe you could get a temporary nanny or use daycare for those two 
>>> weeks?
>>> My husband wouldn't be able to take two weeks off either. It's not that
> he wouldn't want to, he doesn't have the leave, and if he did, he'd prefer
> to do something else with it. So would I.
>>> Another option is for hubby to take fmla though I can understand why 
>>> he'd
> not do this.
>>>
>>> If it were me (and I have a kid too) I'd leave hubby out of this. 
>>> Finding
> a solution that doesn't involve him taking time off work will work better
> then prayer in this case.
>>>
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Shannon Wells
>>> Sent: Tuesday, July 10, 2012 6:47 PM
>>> To: the National Association of Guide Dog Users NAGDU Mailing List
>>> Subject: [nagdu] I did it!
>>>
>>> Well, I did it! I applied to Pilot Dogs. I filled out the online form.
> Still don't have the issue worked out with my husband being able to take 
> off
> work to be with my girls, but I'm still praying. Smile.
>>> Shannon Nicole Wells, author
>>> http://www.wildheartbook.com
>>> http://oldtimechristian.blogspot.com
>>> http://www.twitter.com/authorshannon
>>> http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1826550903
>>>
>>>
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