[nagdu] A bit of a dilemma.

Julie J. julielj at neb.rr.com
Tue Sep 2 13:03:37 UTC 2014

My guess...it's not about the dog.  It's about relationships, yours with 
your girlfriend, hers with her daughter, the daughter with you.  My best 
advice, get counseling.

I'm also a step-parent.  The thing I've learned, the hard way, is that I am 
not my step daughters parent.  I can be an adult role model.  I can have 
rules and expectations, but when it really comes down to it, my husband has 
to be the parent and enforce the rules, and our decisions.   It's the same 
in reverse with my son.  I am his parent.  My husband and I together agree 
on house rules and  expectations but if those aren't met, it is my job to do 
something about it with my son.

So when I decided that Monty was getting ready to need to slow down and take 
things easier and that I needed to think about my next guide dog, my husband 
and I talked it over.  We decided that it would work to have a third dog in 
the house.  We then told the kids.  they didn't get a vote.

Every family is different and how we do things here may not be what works 
for the next family.   However you slice it, step-parenting is tough.  You 
and the girlfriend should probably sort out how you intend to manage it. 
Even if you don't pay the fee and make it all legal through marriage, you 
are still a family.  You are going to have to come to some sort of agreement 
on how things are going to operate in your family.

Or you can get your own place, do what you want and skip all of the above.


-----Original Message----- 
From: Jim Jones via nagdu
Sent: Tuesday, September 02, 2014 7:24 AM
To: nagdu at nfbnet.org
Subject: [nagdu] A bit of a dilemma.

Hi all, I appologize for not posting for so long. I'm in a bit of a spot.
I have apps in at 3 schools. I think I've been accepted to one of them for 
sure. The issue is, my girlfriend's alright with the fact that I'm getting a 
dog, but her 14 year old step daughter isn't at all. I'm living with them. 
They don't have a good relationship to begin with, and my girlfriend says 
she'll talk to the step daughter about my coming home with the dog while I'm 
in training. The step daughter accepts me, for the most part.
Is there any advice on how to handle this from my end of things? My 
girlfriend knows what the dog is for, and how much help it will be when I 
get one.

Jim Jones
cassie1110 at comcast.net
cassie1110 at gmail.com
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