[nagdu] A bit of a dilemma.

Darla djrogers0628 at gmail.com
Tue Sep 2 19:58:52 UTC 2014


Dear Jim,

Do you know what your stepdaughter's objection is?  If you  know that and
care to share on  or off list, we may be able to offer better suggestions on
how to handle it.
Darla & Happy Huck


-----Original Message-----
From: nagdu [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Star Gazer via
nagdu
Sent: Tuesday, September 02, 2014 9:52 AM
To: 'Jim Jones'; 'NAGDU Mailing List, the National Association of Guide Dog
Users'
Subject: Re: [nagdu] A bit of a dilemma.

			If her mom is going to "talk to her" when you're
already in training, I can see why the two don't have a good relationship
and why it's filtering down to you. No conversation goes well when one party
is informed of a decision under the guise of a discussion, and the
conversation goes less well when the "discussion" is done when the decision
already has been made. 
Also, are you living with them in the sense that you're a coparent, or are
you living with them in the sense that you have nowhere else to go? The
distinction matters, and you don't have to answer on list. 
Depending on your role with this mom and daughter, I'd handle it in a couple
different ways. If you are a coparent, talk with the daughter, and most
importantly, listen to what she has to say. It doesn't mean you don't geta
dog, it just means you listen. 
Ultimately, you need to do what you need to do. How you handle what you need
to do depends on the relationship you have with your girlfriend.
Unfortunately for all of us, you could be as good as married to this woman
and "girlfriend" doesn't correctly describe your relationship. On the other
hand, you could have only been sleeping with her for a month, and living
with her for two weeks, and again "girlfriend" doesn't really describe the
relationship. 


-----Original Message-----
From: nagdu [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Jim Jones via
nagdu
Sent: Tuesday, September 2, 2014 8:25 AM
To: nagdu at nfbnet.org
Subject: [nagdu] A bit of a dilemma.

Hi all, I appologize for not posting for so long. I'm in a bit of a spot. 
I have apps in at 3 schools. I think I've been accepted to one of them for
sure. The issue is, my girlfriend's alright with the fact that I'm getting a
dog, but her 14 year old step daughter isn't at all. I'm living with them.
They don't have a good relationship to begin with, and my girlfriend says
she'll talk to the step daughter about my coming home with the dog while I'm
in training. The step daughter accepts me, for the most part. 
Is there any advice on how to handle this from my end of things? My
girlfriend knows what the dog is for, and how much help it will be when I
get one. 

Jim Jones
Emails: 
cassie1110 at comcast.net
cassie1110 at gmail.com
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