[nagdu] Why, or why not?

Fri Jun 19 21:05:21 UTC 2015

Buddy,
I hear you, and thanks for the link. I was shocked that she got to this
perspective at such a young age (it says she's going to go to college). It
took me a lot longer. Here's the comment I left for Holly:
Block quote
After about 40 years of trying to accommodate these questions, I usually now
respond with, "Can you explain to me why you wish to know that?" If they
don't say that their friend or loved one is thinking of getting a guide dog,
they usually say "Just curious, I guess." At that point I launch into a
general, non-blindness-related discussion about curiosity.

I respect the idea of being socially polite, and I'm willing to do that, but
that doesn't mean I jump like a rabit to answer people directly every time
they ask me something. I thought when I was 20 that answering every inane
question would help break the ice, but it hasn't led to one new friend in 40
years.

I hope you can deflect them and continue enjoying having a guide dog. Be
blunt; say you don't talk about your dog in public, say this isn't the time
or place. Just smile and go about your business. In the case of a healthcare
professional, tell them you aren't there to discuss your guide dog, explain
that it is best to ignore working dogs or ask them if they have dogs. People
like to talk about themselves.
Block quote end
Donna & Hunter
-----Original Message-----
From: nagdu [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Buddy Brannan via
nagdu
Sent: Friday, June 19, 2015 4:02 PM
To: NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users
Cc: Buddy Brannan
Subject: Re: [nagdu] Why, or why not?

For me, there is one huge overriding negative to using a guide dog. It's the
one thing that, both times I went back, made me question whether I really
wanted to do this again. Obviously, since I did do it again and am in the
process of working on raising #4, then training #4, the positives outweigh
for me, but it doesn't take this one aspect away.

Cleaning up after? Don't care about that, it's just a thing. Hair? We've got
other pets too, and if people don't like animal hair, stay the hell away
from my house, because there will be some. Vet expenses, food expenses,
inconvenient surprises? Don't care about those.

No, the one disadvantage to working with a guide dog is other people. I
don't like having pleasant meals with friends interrupted by random
strangers who feel they must know immediately my dog's lineage, life story,
and vital statistics. For some reason, I don't find socially fulfilling
hearing about the dog you had that was just like mine, only smaller, black,
and female. No, really, I don't find that my dog is a "social icebreaker"
when random people feel the need to come and admire my dog while I'm
crossing the street or waiting for a bus or running late for something. And
I really don't care that you think I'm a complete ass because I said that,
no, really, you can't pet my dog right now. Funny thing, I got my dog to
help me get from where I am to where I'm going more efficiently. I'd really
like to do that.

Here's a blog post that sums this up brilliantly, from a twitter pal in the
UK. Apparently, she's gotten some grief for this from other guide dog users
who don't believe she is properly grateful. Count me as also not properly
grateful, though the issue doesn't rise quite to the level it does for her
with me.

>From http://catchthesewords.com/i-am-not-my-dog/

I am not my dog

Having a dog can be a good thing. For some, it is a smoother, more effective
way of travel. For others the cane is by far the better option. Both are
perfectly valid experiences, what works for one blind person doesn't for
another. I have come to loathe the perception that my life must have been
awful before getting Isla. I think the media is partly responsible for this,
feeding the mentality that guide dogs are always best. Cane users are seen
as incompetent, or desperately lonely blind people who must be longing for a
dog. That quite simply isn't true. And just because a person might find
guide dog travel better for them doesn't mean they had no life before
getting a dog.

I've been thinking about this a lot recently. I'll be going to university in
September and I'm concerned that people will choose to speak to me because
I'm holding onto a very cute looking dog, not because I'm a genuinely
interesting person.though that's debatable I suppose! I know some guide dog
owners love the extra attention they receive, they feel like they are
connecting with more people and it gives them the opportunity to make
friends, however for me it's been a miserable experience. I would rather two
people come up to me directly in a week and ask me about the band shirt I'm
wearing and whether I've seen them, than 200 who want to know my dogs life
story. I'm not my dog and I'm desperately trying to break free of that
perception. I'm also not public property, I'm a real girl with feelings who
would like to be shown the same basic respect others deserve.

To illustrate this, I want to talk about several interactions I've had this
past week.

On Tuesday I went to the dentist, the guy is new and he was very nice to me.
However, he didn't ask me any questions about my life, besides the
obligatory medical history. Our brief conversation revolved around my dog,
and how I must find things easier now I have her. The problem I find with
this isn't that people ask, it's how they phrase it.

"So, your life must be so much better now you have her."

They aren't actually asking me if I prefer using a dog or a cane, instead
they assume that it is the case. I know people don't mean it, or probably
don't even think about it. Perhaps it seems like I'm being overly sensitive
and it's a simple issue, however I hear this day in day out. I know that it
is how people think, they have this idea that a dog is best for everyone.
Canes are seen as your training wheels, after which you progress to a dog.
And I always want to tell people no, that isn't true. But no matter how
nicely you explain it many get upset, or even offended. They have this view
that a dog is best and telling them no goes against everything they have
ever seen in the media. Yes, a person may prefer guide dog travel but that
doesn't mean before they got a dog they sat at home and cried into their
pillow.

I did however have a very nice talk with a lady who worked in a shop whilst
I was looking for a dress to buy. She was far more interested in describing
me the dresses and helping me look for them than asking me personal
questions. I shouldn't have to find experiences like this refreshing, but I
do.

However for the rest of the day most questions I received from shop
assistants whilst I was paying involved the following:

How old is your dog?
Is it a boy or a girl?
What's its name?
How long have you had it?
Is it your first dog.

I don't mind that people ask exactly, but I always get asked this set of
questions. I know people don't realise that I've had to answer them hundreds
of times before. It honestly gets tiring and boring, and I wish their
attention could be diverted elsewhere.

The same happened when I went to get my hair cut. People came and sat next
to me while I was waiting, asked me their questions about Isla and that was
it. And this is why I hate it. People don't talk to me because they actually
have an interest in who I am, they just want to know about my dog. I would
rather people didn't speak to me at all in that case. Perhaps I'm in the
minority, but it is something I think about a lot. I don't want to put
people off approaching guide dog owners but I wish they would think about
why they are actually doing it first. If you think that person might need
help, and you go up to them to ask that's fine, if they say yes, by all
means help and if they say no, please respect their decision. But if the
only reason you speak to a person is to quiz them about their dog and then
effectively ignore them.what's the point?

I understand that for some dog owners the interactions are welcome but
personally I don't enjoy it. I want to go to university and meet people who
like the same things I do, who want to spend time with me because they see
something that interests them. I don't want people to spend time with me
because they get access to a very friendly dog. I don't know how I can
ensure this, besides trying to figure out why people are actually talking to
me. I don't want to become popular on campus because everyone loves my dog.
Ultimately in that situation I mean nothing, it is Isla who people are
interested in. It's the reason why I'm so sure I won't be getting another
dog. I travel well with a cane, yes, dog travel has its benefits but for me
the attention I receive because of it is far more negative than any of the
positives can add up to be. I wish I didn't feel this way, but I know it
won't change. I don't like huge amounts of attention being placed upon me,
and I would rather receive very small amounts and be valued as a human.

Dog handlers are real people. Their dogs may look very friendly, but please
remember that there is a person holding onto that harness and we all deserve
to be valued for the people we are.

Like this post? Share it with your friends!

--
Buddy Brannan, KB5ELV - Erie, PA
Phone: 814-860-3194
Mobile: 814-431-0962
Email: buddy at brannan.name

> On Jun 19, 2015, at 3:08 PM, S L Johnson via nagdu <nagdu at nfbnet.org>
wrote:
>
> Hi,
>
> Personally I don't find any negatives about having a guide dog.  There are

> so many positives that nothing is too much work in order for me to have a
> dog.  , I always ask for a golden so I have lots of hair.  I brush her
every
> night to keep the shedding down.  It is possible your dog had a medical
> issue that contributed to her excessive shedding.  Also if she were under
a
> lot of stress that could have also caused her to shed more.  Stress for
> working dogs can cause all kinds of problems.   If people don't want dog
> hair, then maybe a dog isn't for them.  If people don't want my dog hair
in
> their car, then I don't go anywhere with them.  My dog is more important
> than that inconsiderate person.  I suppose you could say high vet bills
> could be a negative but, even that is worth it because the dog gives you
so
> much more independence.  It is a tough question to answer because what you

> see as a negative might not mean anything to someone else who will do
> absolutely anything to have a guide dog.  As for access issues, I don't
have
> any problems with it and feel it is just one of the responsibilities of
> having a guide dog.  It is a personal decision and only you will be able
to
> weigh the positives against the negatives n the end to make your decision.

> Whatever you decide, good luck.
>
> Sandra and Eva
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: daniel via nagdu
> Sent: Friday, June 19, 2015 12:05 PM
> To: nagdu at nfbnet.org
> Cc: daniel
> Subject: [nagdu] Why, or why not?
>
> Hey guys, I haven't posted to the list in a while mainly because I don't
> have my dog anymore; she was terrified of cars and couldn't do work
properly
> because of it. I know this is going to come off a bit negatively but I
don't
> mean it that way: I feel as if, guide dog users we have a tendency to
extol
> the greatness of using a guide dog, we always say how amazing it is and
> wonderful having one by our side is but I feel that the cons aren't ever
> really discussed. I retired my dog roughly a year ago and, at the time, it
> was pretty tramatic (I literally cried for like an hour at a time). I'm
now
> really contemplating going back to The Seeing Eye again and am really
> honestly wondering what kind of cons or negative things yall have ran into
> while using a dog? I know there is a huuuge range of people from just
> starting out to have had a dog for the past 20 years so I feel like I can
> get some really good feedback. I know one for me was (and this may sound
odd
> or vain) was excessive shedding. I could brush and comb Irene for 30-45
> minutes every evening and morning and yet, every time I got in a car there
> would be fur everywhere and when I vacuumed I could've probably made a
> pillow every time. I have literally never in my life seen a dog shed as
much
> as that and am quite frankly not sure where all the fur came from off a 45
> pound dog. However, I think I could deal with it again if I were to get
> another guide dog; I would just have to get even better at managing. I
have
> a few others but I'm wondering what are some for yall?
>
> Again, I really am not trying to be negative just really trying to get the
> whole story.again.
>
> I'm also (obviously) trying to decide if I want to go back again (that's a
> whole other post though, I think). I'm also not really trying to say (nor
do
> I want yet another debate) that canes are better than dogs or vice versa.
>
> Thanks,
>
> Dan.
>
>
>
> P.s: This is a sort of spinoff from "would I ever give up having a dog?"
>
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