[nagdu] Humor for blind people

Wed Nov 25 15:03:05 UTC 2015

Or better yet, when you want to take the blind person somewhere, grab the dog by the harness handle or, even better, the nose strap of their gentle leader and start leading the dog. 
> On Nov 25, 2015, at 9:59 AM, Kaye Kipp via nagdu <nagdu at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> Here's another guide dog one.
> 
> When you're giving a person with a guide dog directions, be sure to direct
> your explanation to the dog.  That way, the person doesn't have a thing to
> worry about.  After all; these dogs are marvelous, aren't they?
> 
> Kaye
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: nagdu [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org <mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org>] On Behalf Of Tracy Carcione
> via nagdu
> Sent: Wednesday, November 25, 2015 6:33 AM
> To: 'NAGDU Mailing List, the National Association of Guide Dog Users'
> Cc: Tracy Carcione
> Subject: Re: [nagdu] Humor for blind people
> 
> I know one that's guide-dog related, and wasn't on the list.
> If you want to help a blind person cross the street, stand directly in front
> of the blind person and inform him or her that it's safe to go. Continue to
> stand in front of the person, and ask why the dog isn't moving.
> Tracy
> 
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: nagdu [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Dan Weiner via
> nagdu
> Sent: Monday, November 23, 2015 5:05 PM
> To: 'NAGDU Mailing List, the National Association of Guide Dog Users'
> Cc: Dan Weiner
> Subject: Re: [nagdu] Humor for blind people
> 
> All right,  I saw that on facebook and loved it, hard to believe but every
> single one has happened to me at one time--smile.
> 
> Warmest regards to all,
> 
> Dan and the Parker hound
> 
> 
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: nagdu [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Marianne Denning
> via nagdu
> Sent: Monday, November 23, 2015 1:17 PM
> To: Angelena Ruskin; Chris Tolle; Dale Lieser; Dan Schoenharl; Eizyk,
> Shelly; Eizyk,Shelly (eizyksy); Heather Pedersen; Hyesook Cho; J. Linder;
> jennifer.holladay at cincyblind.org; jhunter1220 at comcast.net;
> jimmie at denningweb.com; Karen Schoenharl; marilyn bowers; nadina imamovic;
> NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users; National
> Association to Promote the Use of Braille Mailing List;
> nfb-krafters-korner-request at nfbnet.org; nikoloz.tsiklauri98 at gmail.com; Nora
> Heink; Ohio Association of Guide Dog Users List; paul and paula jordan; Paul
> Denning; Professionals in Blindness Education Division List; Sarah Sanner;
> Sarah Sanner; Sean Denning; shelly.eizyk at gmail.com; Walker,Carlton; Zallar,
> Patty; Zallar,Patty
> Cc: Marianne Denning
> Subject: [nagdu] Humor for blind people
> 
> These are all the things I want to say but know it would not be appropriate
> in most situations.  Enjoy!
> 
> 17 Easy Ways To Make A Blind Person's Day
> 
> 1. When introducing yourself, use loud, exaggerated speech. Since we're
> blind, it's safe to assume we're a little dim, too.
> 2. Don't speak directly to us. It's always best to talk over our heads like
> we're not there at all, especially if you are offering a service.
> Example:
> "What would she like to order?" Be sure to ignore our attempts to answer for
> ourselves.
> 3. Grab or otherwise manipulate our bodies whenever and wherever you deem
> necessary. For example, if you intuitively perceive that we're going the
> wrong way (even if you haven't asked where that is) just snatch the nearest
> limb and lead on, Macduff!
> 4. If you aren't in a position to grab us, you can always shout instructions
> in the hope that we'll know what you're talking about. If we look baffled,
> just keep repeating the instructions in an increasingly frantic tone.
> We'll clue in eventually.
> 5. Remind us often how grateful we should be that people are willing to
> provide accommodations for us. While it's unlikely that we will ever, ever
> forget this for more than five minutes at a time, it's a good idea to slam
> the thought home when we're not expecting it. It builds character.
> 6. Stage loud conversations about us while we're in the room, because we
> won't hear. If we hear, it's okay, because we won't understand. If we
> understand, it's okay, because we won't care.
> 7. Keep all conversation firmly focused on blindness. If we try to interject
> by discussing our education or interests, just redirect us.
> We get carried
> away trying to be all normal, so it's helpful to keep us on track!
> 8. Be sure to describe all the other blind people you've ever met, in
> extravagant detail. We couldn't be more fascinated by that blind guy who
> skied, and that other blind guy who went to school with you, and that blind
> girl you met on the train once-the one with the cute puppy. 9. Make a habit
> of asking us why we're "here". If we're on the bus, ask us why we're out
> alone. If we're at work, ask us how we got the job. If we're in class, ask
> us why we're in university. If we seem offended, ignore us:
> deep down inside, we really enjoy presumptuous interrogation!
> 10. Dispense advice about how we should live our lives; the less you know
> us, the more valuable your feedback will be. If you need a good starting
> point, you can begin by analyzing our mobility tool of choice (cane or dog)
> and emphatically demanding that we switch. We love that.
> 11. Involve yourself in our love lives, specifying exactly the type of
> person we should date and why. If you think we should date a sighted person
> because they'll be able to take care of us, we'll want to hear all about it.
> If you think we should date a blind person because we should "stick to our
> own kind"
> we will be all ears!
> 12. Give us things-money, coupons, whatever-because you pity us and want to
> make our day better. Don't be phased by any apparent expressions of
> confusion.
> ("Oh, that's just my gratitude face!")
> 13. Stop us on the street and thank whomever we're with for helping/taking
> care of/being so kind to us. It's not as though we have real friends who
> genuinely enjoy our company. No: if we're out with a sighted person, they
> are fulfilling a purely charitable role. They will appreciate your praise,
> and we will feel extra extra grateful!
> 14. Place your hands on us in any public place and pray. If we gently
> explain that we don't want to be prayed for, rest assured that it's just the
> secular cynicism doing the talking. When our sight is miraculously restored,
> you'll be the first to know.
> 15. Make as many potentially dangerous practical jokes as you can think of.
> A few good ideas include warning us of imaginary obstacles ("Watch out for
> that tree-just kidding!"), concealing our possessions, and encouraging us to
> "find" you while you run gleefully around us in circles. These were a staple
> of primary school, and I treasure many pleasant memories from that era. Do
> me a favour, and bring back the nostalgia!
> 16. Refer to us as "that blind person" even after you know our names.
> Blindness is so integral to our identities that our names are really just
> decorative, so there's no need to remember or use them. If we fail to answer
> to "Hey, blind girl/guy!" just keep trying. We'll learn to love it.
> 17. Assume that our default status is "Help!" If we reassure you that we're
> okay, thanks, don't fall for it. Insisting upon rescuing us every time we
> cross paths places us into a position of dependence, which is exactly where
> we belong.
> 
> 
> 
> --
> Marianne Denning, TVI, MA
> Teacher of students who are blind or visually impaired
> (513) 607-6053
> 
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