[nagdu] Humor for blind people

Aleeha Dudley blindcowgirl1993 at gmail.com
Wed Nov 25 16:32:43 UTC 2015 

Yes, and to top it all off, it was at a convention hotel. 
> On Nov 25, 2015, at 11:01 AM, Cindy Ray via nagdu <nagdu at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> Really, someone has taken your dog's GL by the nose piece to help you find
> your way somewhere? That's rich. 
> Cindy Lou
> cindyray at gmail.com
> 
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: nagdu [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Aleeha Dudley via
> nagdu
> Sent: Wednesday, November 25, 2015 9:03 AM
> To: NAGDU Mailing List, the National Association of Guide Dog Users
> <nagdu at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Aleeha Dudley <blindcowgirl1993 at gmail.com>; Tracy Carcione
> <carcione at access.net>
> Subject: Re: [nagdu] Humor for blind people
> 
> Or better yet, when you want to take the blind person somewhere, grab the
> dog by the harness handle or, even better, the nose strap of their gentle
> leader and start leading the dog. 
>> On Nov 25, 2015, at 9:59 AM, Kaye Kipp via nagdu <nagdu at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>> 
>> Here's another guide dog one.
>> 
>> When you're giving a person with a guide dog directions, be sure to 
>> direct your explanation to the dog.  That way, the person doesn't have 
>> a thing to worry about.  After all; these dogs are marvelous, aren't they?
>> 
>> Kaye
>> 
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: nagdu [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org 
>> <mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org>] On Behalf Of Tracy Carcione via 
>> nagdu
>> Sent: Wednesday, November 25, 2015 6:33 AM
>> To: 'NAGDU Mailing List, the National Association of Guide Dog Users'
>> Cc: Tracy Carcione
>> Subject: Re: [nagdu] Humor for blind people
>> 
>> I know one that's guide-dog related, and wasn't on the list.
>> If you want to help a blind person cross the street, stand directly in 
>> front of the blind person and inform him or her that it's safe to go. 
>> Continue to stand in front of the person, and ask why the dog isn't
> moving.
>> Tracy
>> 
>> 
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: nagdu [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Dan Weiner 
>> via nagdu
>> Sent: Monday, November 23, 2015 5:05 PM
>> To: 'NAGDU Mailing List, the National Association of Guide Dog Users'
>> Cc: Dan Weiner
>> Subject: Re: [nagdu] Humor for blind people
>> 
>> All right,  I saw that on facebook and loved it, hard to believe but 
>> every single one has happened to me at one time--smile.
>> 
>> Warmest regards to all,
>> 
>> Dan and the Parker hound
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: nagdu [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Marianne 
>> Denning via nagdu
>> Sent: Monday, November 23, 2015 1:17 PM
>> To: Angelena Ruskin; Chris Tolle; Dale Lieser; Dan Schoenharl; Eizyk, 
>> Shelly; Eizyk,Shelly (eizyksy); Heather Pedersen; Hyesook Cho; J. 
>> Linder; jennifer.holladay at cincyblind.org; jhunter1220 at comcast.net; 
>> jimmie at denningweb.com; Karen Schoenharl; marilyn bowers; nadina 
>> imamovic; NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog 
>> Users; National Association to Promote the Use of Braille Mailing 
>> List; nfb-krafters-korner-request at nfbnet.org; 
>> nikoloz.tsiklauri98 at gmail.com; Nora Heink; Ohio Association of Guide 
>> Dog Users List; paul and paula jordan; Paul Denning; Professionals in 
>> Blindness Education Division List; Sarah Sanner; Sarah Sanner; Sean 
>> Denning; shelly.eizyk at gmail.com; Walker,Carlton; Zallar, Patty; 
>> Zallar,Patty
>> Cc: Marianne Denning
>> Subject: [nagdu] Humor for blind people
>> 
>> These are all the things I want to say but know it would not be 
>> appropriate in most situations.  Enjoy!
>> 
>> 17 Easy Ways To Make A Blind Person's Day
>> 
>> 1. When introducing yourself, use loud, exaggerated speech. Since 
>> we're blind, it's safe to assume we're a little dim, too.
>> 2. Don't speak directly to us. It's always best to talk over our heads 
>> like we're not there at all, especially if you are offering a service.
>> Example:
>> "What would she like to order?" Be sure to ignore our attempts to 
>> answer for ourselves.
>> 3. Grab or otherwise manipulate our bodies whenever and wherever you 
>> deem necessary. For example, if you intuitively perceive that we're 
>> going the wrong way (even if you haven't asked where that is) just 
>> snatch the nearest limb and lead on, Macduff!
>> 4. If you aren't in a position to grab us, you can always shout 
>> instructions in the hope that we'll know what you're talking about. If 
>> we look baffled, just keep repeating the instructions in an increasingly
> frantic tone.
>> We'll clue in eventually.
>> 5. Remind us often how grateful we should be that people are willing 
>> to provide accommodations for us. While it's unlikely that we will 
>> ever, ever forget this for more than five minutes at a time, it's a 
>> good idea to slam the thought home when we're not expecting it. It builds
> character.
>> 6. Stage loud conversations about us while we're in the room, because 
>> we won't hear. If we hear, it's okay, because we won't understand. If 
>> we understand, it's okay, because we won't care.
>> 7. Keep all conversation firmly focused on blindness. If we try to 
>> interject by discussing our education or interests, just redirect us.
>> We get carried
>> away trying to be all normal, so it's helpful to keep us on track!
>> 8. Be sure to describe all the other blind people you've ever met, in 
>> extravagant detail. We couldn't be more fascinated by that blind guy 
>> who skied, and that other blind guy who went to school with you, and 
>> that blind girl you met on the train once-the one with the cute puppy. 
>> 9. Make a habit of asking us why we're "here". If we're on the bus, 
>> ask us why we're out alone. If we're at work, ask us how we got the 
>> job. If we're in class, ask us why we're in university. If we seem
> offended, ignore us:
>> deep down inside, we really enjoy presumptuous interrogation!
>> 10. Dispense advice about how we should live our lives; the less you 
>> know us, the more valuable your feedback will be. If you need a good 
>> starting point, you can begin by analyzing our mobility tool of choice 
>> (cane or dog) and emphatically demanding that we switch. We love that.
>> 11. Involve yourself in our love lives, specifying exactly the type of 
>> person we should date and why. If you think we should date a sighted 
>> person because they'll be able to take care of us, we'll want to hear all
> about it.
>> If you think we should date a blind person because we should "stick to 
>> our own kind"
>> we will be all ears!
>> 12. Give us things-money, coupons, whatever-because you pity us and 
>> want to make our day better. Don't be phased by any apparent 
>> expressions of confusion.
>> ("Oh, that's just my gratitude face!") 13. Stop us on the street and 
>> thank whomever we're with for helping/taking care of/being so kind to 
>> us. It's not as though we have real friends who genuinely enjoy our 
>> company. No: if we're out with a sighted person, they are fulfilling a 
>> purely charitable role. They will appreciate your praise, and we will 
>> feel extra extra grateful!
>> 14. Place your hands on us in any public place and pray. If we gently 
>> explain that we don't want to be prayed for, rest assured that it's 
>> just the secular cynicism doing the talking. When our sight is 
>> miraculously restored, you'll be the first to know.
>> 15. Make as many potentially dangerous practical jokes as you can think
> of.
>> A few good ideas include warning us of imaginary obstacles ("Watch out 
>> for that tree-just kidding!"), concealing our possessions, and 
>> encouraging us to "find" you while you run gleefully around us in 
>> circles. These were a staple of primary school, and I treasure many 
>> pleasant memories from that era. Do me a favour, and bring back the
> nostalgia!
>> 16. Refer to us as "that blind person" even after you know our names.
>> Blindness is so integral to our identities that our names are really 
>> just decorative, so there's no need to remember or use them. If we 
>> fail to answer to "Hey, blind girl/guy!" just keep trying. We'll learn to
> love it.
>> 17. Assume that our default status is "Help!" If we reassure you that 
>> we're okay, thanks, don't fall for it. Insisting upon rescuing us 
>> every time we cross paths places us into a position of dependence, 
>> which is exactly where we belong.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> --
>> Marianne Denning, TVI, MA
>> Teacher of students who are blind or visually impaired
>> (513) 607-6053
>> 
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