[NAGDU] Our Girl Is Safely Home

[Heather Bird]

Wow. That was such a wonderful, terrible, amazing, awful, email to read 
first thing in the morning. What you have done for your dog is one of 
the hardest and most selfless things you will ever have to do. We are 
all here for you. I know that intellectually you already know that you 
made the best possible decision for Peg, but of course, your heart will 
take some time to catch up, but when it does, peace will be yours. I 
think that your loving attitude not only released her from a life of 
declining quality, but as you said, also helped to help her leave on, if 
not a high note, at least a positive and fulfilled one. She sounds like 
a very sweet and lovely dog. That was a beautiful song. Before I 
switched to social work I was a music major in vocal music. I am also a 
level 1 Reiki practitioner, and I firmly believe in the healing power of 
music. Music is the water of life. It removes blockages to allow us to 
let loose and sob when we are keening silently inside, to let us rage 
when we have been punishing ourselves inside, to shout with joy when we 
have been constraining ourselves. Music is the tide which sweeps through 
us to move our lives through the cycles of experience that make us who 
we are. That sounds like just the perfect song to help you progress 
through the grieving process, and, it certainly is a fitting and 
heartfelt tribute to your sweet girl. While she certainly would not have 
understood the individual words in your song, or the clever use of an 
existing theme to meet your purposes. Being a dog, she also certainly 
will understand your intent and your message in a way that most people 
cannot.


Sending comforting hugs, and Ilsa sends gentle tail wags for you and 
your family.


On 5/11/2017 6:38 AM, Dani Pagador via NAGDU wrote:
> Hi, Everyone.
> My Dad took David, Peg, and me to the vet yesterday afternoon. We did
> tests to see how her kidneys were, and the numbers looked better than
> they did on Saturday, but weren't at normal levels.
>
> The vet was willing to let us try more IV fluid, and David would've
> needed to give them to her four times a day instead of the two times a
> day we'd been doing over the last four days.
>
> Peg was needing to go out every four hours to relieve herself, and
> we'd sometimes just barely make it outside.
>
> She started eating, but only a little bit, and only if I hand fed her.
> She'd only want sweet bread and peanut butter. No kidney diet dog
> food, no matter whether it was wet or dry, no matter if it came from
> my hand or the bowl.
>
> The vet said that the fluids could help with maintainance of the
> kidneys, but that they couldn't bring the kidneys back to normal
> function. She also said that there was no telling how short or long
> the maintainance would be effective, and that as far as food went,
> we'd need to keep her on the strict kidney diet, and possibly feed her
> with a syringe and blended food if she didn't eat the dry or canned
> food.
>
> David and I talked some more, and decided to go with our original
> decision to let her go. She's such a lady, so faithful to her training
> that she wouldn't pee in the house, even on puppy pads; when she'd wet
> the bed or have accidents, she'd have this look on her face like, "I
> know I was a bad dog." She wasn't enjoying her food, couldn't eat or
> drink comfortably, and couldn't move around as freely or as
> independently. She was happy to be with us, and would've kept going
> and trying for us, even if it meant waking up every four hours and
> being carried outside to pee. But that's no life for my Peg. I didn't
> want her staying around just for her Mama and Papi, as much as we
> wanted her with us.
>
> We got to spend some time with her to say goodbye and lots of I love
> yous, and I got to hold her and sing to her as the doctor gave her the
> shot and she crossed Rainbow Bridge.
>
> We had a good day yesterday. We got to go riding on our tandem
> bike--she sat in the cargo basket under my seat, with her head
> sticking out, looking around attentively. She was a little more
> herself, walking around the house, wanting to be by my workstation or
> in the kitchen. But she still had her tired moments, when she needed
> to rest.
>
> We wanted to let her go on a good day. We couldn't see having to come
> back to do this again, the let go for real this time, not just for
> practice.
>
> It's been a long, hard time since. I've been doing a lot of crying, a
> lot of praying, and a lot of just sitting around and stress eating.
> The apartment is too quiet; it feels too different, like something
> huge and too important is missing. I can't walk around the complex
> without tearing up; I have to walk past all of the places Peg and I
> would have to go on a daily basis.
>
> I'm soo happy for her; she gets to be with Jesus and all of her dog
> friends. She gets to be herself again, whole and without pain. I
> couldn't rob her of that chance yesterday by making her come back home
> to be with us.
>
> But I'm sooo  sad for us. It sucks to be without her. I miss my girl.
> For as hard and as much as you love your dog, that's how much it'll
> hurt to let go. It'll be better. ... Just not today.
>
> I wrote this for her, but couldn't sing it, because the ache was too
> big, and I was crying too hard.
>
> (To the tune of Danny Boy)
> Oh, Peggy girl, our Lord, our Lord is calling.
> His loving arms will meet you when you come.
> You'll be so missed, I'll always hold you close to me.
> Oh, pretty girl, my lovely girl, I love you so.
>
> Thanks for reading this long ramble, for all of your kind words on and
> off list. Your care, encouragement, and support have helped me not be
> so mean to myself.
>
> More Later, when I figure out up from down,
> Dani
>
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