[nfb-db] Social situations with normal people

Mon Jul 30 00:38:20 UTC 2012

Hi Everyone:

I also struggle with this a bit.
I have hearing in only one ear so I am not deaf-blind but hearing impaired.
When there is a large crowd or when I am in a noisy restaurant with
lots of people at a large table, I have a very hard time hearing those
who are not right next to me.
What I do is just go anyway and do the best I can. I try to not let it
bother me, and I'm the type of person who would rather go and not talk
to many people at all than not go at all.
Also, since I have been in training, one of the things I have had to
really work to get over (and I'm over it now I think) is having to go
into stores and telling the person I have hearing loss and could they
please tell me left, right, or forward when I follow them. I used to
hate having to do this but when I didn't do it I would get left behind
because I could not tell by using my hearing where they were going. I
had no choice but to tell them I have hearing loss and to please give
me directions. I found when I did and they gave me verbal directions
the situation became a lot better.
I also used a FM system in school but found I depended on it when I
could have otherwise just used my hearing aid to hear things. I have
to sit up closer to where the speaker is sitting to hear but I have
gotten used to this.
If my hearing were to ever get worse, I would have no problems using
an FM system but right now I can function without one.
But, I can totally relate with the not wanting to stand out. For years
I believed with my hearing aid my hearing was fine but in reality I
would get embarrassed when I would try to follow someone and I
couldn't tell where they were so I had to quickly get used to telling
people I have hearing loss. At first it was hard but now I am used to
it.

Thanks!
Kerri

On 7/29/12, Janice Toothman <janice.toothman at verizon.net> wrote:
> I hope I didn't offend you. I was merely trying to explain something
> that as a new deaf-blind person I had been struggling with. This desire
> to fit in like you; but don't. The everyday experience of either being
> pitied for being thought as disable (i.e. helpless) or some sort or
> disabled superwoman because I am taking graduate counseling classes and
> desire to be self-supporting as a counselor. I want to be seen for who I
> am and not what my disabilities are.
> On 7/27/2012 11:34 AM, Gerardo Corripio wrote:
>> I think the wanting to appear as normal as possible; all my life I've
>> grown
>> up with blindness being the only disability since with my hearing aids
>> I'm
>> able to hear OK.
>>
>> -----Mensaje original-----
>> De: nfb-db-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nfb-db-bounces at nfbnet.org] En
>> nombre
>> de Janice Toothman
>> Enviado el: Jueves, 26 de Julio de 2012 17:27
>> Para: NFB Deaf-Blind Division Mailing List
>> Asunto: Re: [nfb-db] Social situations with normal people
>>
>> Gerardo,
>> If I may ask, were you afraid of the stigma of being labeled hearing
>> impaired or deaf? or was if something else that prompted you to refrain
>> from using your FM receiver. I know that for me it is always a struggle
>> not wanting to appear different from others yet having a desire to not
>> only learn but also to be heard. Because of the stigma of deaf-blindness
>> I often did not want draw attention to my needs in a classroom. The
>> result was that I could not fully participate in the class and the
>> teacher did not know why so I was graded down with respect to
>> participation. It is an awful responsibility to be the counseling
>> departments first deaf-blind student. This means I must educate my
>> professors and classmates not only about deaf-blindness and what we can
>> do with the proper training and technology.
>> Janice
>> On 7/26/2012 2:41 PM, GERARDO CORRIPIO FLORES wrote:
>>> Wow! what a great topic! Though I'm not deafblind (I have 70% hearing
>>> loss and use hearing aids) I prefer small social gatherings of two
>>> three or up to five people at most. ABout fm transmiters, I used to
>>> use one some years ago but only used it in school since I'd like to
>>> appear as most regular as possible. Keep on this great topic!
>>>
>>> 2012/7/26, Scott Davert <scottdavert at gmail.com>:
>>>> Hi janice.
>>>> I've had the same struggles as you have, and my social life has
>>>> suffered greatly. I've become an intravert because of this.
>>>> I understand also not being able to always hear or see someone when
>>>> they say hello to me, and wish that I could offer some suggestions as
>>>> to ways of dealing with this. But these are other people we're talking
>>>> about, people who have their own actions, thoughts, and assumptions.
>>>> All you can do is explain it to them and hope they understand. No
>>>> matter what audiological equipment you use, it's never going to be as
>>>> good as what would be considered normal hearing. The only way I've
>>>> found to deal with my extrovertedness, is to have small gatherings of
>>>> like 2 or 3 others, which makes it easier as long as you're not in a
>>>> noisey environment. But I fit in nowhere. I have a hard time with
>>>> speech and don't know enough sign language. I'm trying to learn sign
>>>> language now, but the politics and all the bs surrounding it is making
>>>> that difficult. So I just keep pushing on and do the best I can and
>>>> live with it. What other choice do I have?
>>>>
>>>> Scott
>>>>
>>>> On 7/26/12, Janice Toothman <janice.toothman at verizon.net> wrote:
>>>>> I get frustrated by those people who knew me growing up and assume I
>>>>> am
>>>>> being rude to them when I don't say "Hi" to them after they have said
>>>>> "Hi" to me. Do I always have to explain to people that I am not being
>>>>> rude or trying to brush them off but that I honestly didn't hear them
>>>>> because I am deaf and that I didn't see them because I am blind. How
>>>>> do
>>>>> you go to social events where the majority are sighted and your the
>>>>> only
>>>>> deaf-blind person and you can't make sense of the person your having a
>>>>> conversation with because of all the other noises/conversions going on
>>>>> in the room?
>>>>>
>>>>> I feel very isolated from my peers because I cannot hear conversations
>>>>> in a classroom when others are talking as well. Similarly family
>>>>> gatherings do not have usual anticipation at going to these events has
>>>>> diminished greatly due to my deaf-blindness.
>>>>> This is a challenge for me when I go back to school. The University
>>>>> offers me transcribers for my class but they write the "gist" of what
>>>>> is
>>>>> said and often leave out important dates and names of authors. Also, I
>>>>> do not receive this transcription in real time but within 24-36 hours
>>>>> after the class has ended.
>>>>> Unfortunately, when I go to conventions I have to rely on my FM system
>>>>> and a digital recorder.
>>>>> Has anyone else had problems problems in social situations.
>>>>>
>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>> nfb-db at nfbnet.org
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>>>>>
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