[Nfb-editors] Your critique Invited!

[Chris Kuell]

Marion,

Sorry, but I was away over the weekend. If it's not too late for feedback, 
here you go:

1. Since you are writing specifically about guide dogs, I would change all 
language to reflect this. Service animals of other sorts aren't important to 
this brochure, plus there is debate about what is and isn't a service 
animal, so I recommend you stick with 'guide dog' or 'dog guide'.
2. I'd kill the exclamation point at the end of point 4. While your point is 
important--the handler is in charge-- I think exclamation points are 
amateurish in a professional publication.
 3. We are blind people speaking for ourselves and acting for ourselves, 
working as equal partners with our sighted neighbors.
tighter: We are blind people speaking and acting for ourselves, working as 
equal partners with our sighted neighbors.

4. If you found this information interesting, perhaps you know others who 
would, as well! Please feel free to pass this on!- again, I'd kill the 
exclamation points

I think your title is fine, and I hope this helps.

chris