[Nfb-editors] Your critique Invited!

[Marion Gwizdala]

Chris,
    Thank you for your input. Some of the suggestions you make have already 
been implementedI agree with the exclamation point suggestion. I missed 
those when I edited the piece. (I did not write it from scratch.) . As for
the "service animal" references, our hotline will serve any service animal 
user needing information. It is part of our goal to be the leader in service 
animal policy, advocacy, and information, so I am keeping the information 
more general, unless the specifics, like crossing streets, is relevant. As 
for any debate about what is and is not a service animal, the DOJ has 
tightened up its implementing regulations and NAGDU was a major player in 
this happening. Again, this reinforces our leadership in the service animal 
movement. The final piece will be submitted to the national office today and 
I will send the copy to the list.

Fraternally yours,
Marion Gwizdala



----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Chris Kuell" <ckuell at comcast.net>
To: "Correspondence Committee Mailing List" <nfb-editors at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Monday, May 16, 2011 9:19 AM
Subject: Re: [Nfb-editors] Your critique Invited!


> Marion,
>
> Sorry, but I was away over the weekend. If it's not too late for feedback,
> here you go:
>
> 1. Since you are writing specifically about guide dogs, I would change all
> language to reflect this. Service animals of other sorts aren't important
> to this brochure, plus there is debate about what is and isn't a service
> animal, so I recommend you stick with 'guide dog' or 'dog guide'.
> 2. I'd kill the exclamation point at the end of point 4. While your point
> is important--the handler is in charge-- I think exclamation points are
> amateurish in a professional publication.
> 3. We are blind people speaking for ourselves and acting for ourselves,
> working as equal partners with our sighted neighbors.
> tighter: We are blind people speaking and acting for ourselves, working as
> equal partners with our sighted neighbors.
>
> 4. If you found this information interesting, perhaps you know others who
> would, as well! Please feel free to pass this on!- again, I'd kill the
> exclamation points
>
> I think your title is fine, and I hope this helps.
>
> chris
>
>
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