[Nfb-seniors] Fwd: Have a good laugh

[Heinz-Guenther Pink]

Dr. Heinz-Guenther Pink
Advocate and program evaluator for the blind, deaf, elders and handicapped.
Member: NFB Communication Council and ATRC Advisory Council of the State,
former Member of Senator Chun Oakland's Deaf-Blind Task Force. I AM FOR
TRUTH IN ADVERTISING!
Co-founder: College of Commerce 1962, Founder: Computer College of Hawaii
since 1963. Retired as Chairman of the Mathematics Dept. at Hawaii Pacific
University in Honolulu, Hawaii.   ONLY CONTACT ME AT: pinkhawaii at gmail.com
  and ask for Telefon number. In Skype and Google video talk also just:
pinkhawaii at gmail.com

OR BY MAIL: 410 Magellan Ave. STE.1002, Honolulu, HI. 96813


---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Steve Bair <steve.bair at gmail.com>
Date: Sun, Mar 16, 2014 at 11:39 PM
Subject: Fwd: Have a good laugh
To: Dad Bair <papbair at aol.com>, Jamie Bair <jamienbair at gmail.com>, Heather
Hengel <pinkhawaii at gmail.com>, Kathi Bair <kbnmaui at gmail.com>, Lee Taylor <
taylor220 at aol.com>





*Church Ladies With computers- Morning Chuckle...........*



*They're Back!  *

*Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with
computers. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in
church bulletins or were announced in church services:  *

*-------------------------- *

*The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. *

*-------------------------- *

*The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water. *

*The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus. *

*-------------------------- *

*Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those
things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands. *

*-------------------------- *

*Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at
someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much
about you **. *

*-------------------------- *

*Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help. *

*-------------------------- *

*Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious
pleasure to the congregation. *

*-------------------------- *

*For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery
downstairs **.*

*-------------------------- *

*Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help
they can get. *

*-------------------------- *

*Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church.
So ends a friendship that began in their school days. *

*-------------------------- *

*A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music
will follow. *

*-------------------------- *

*At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?'
Come early and listen to our choir practice. *

*-------------------------- *

*Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several
new members and to the deterioration of some older ones. *

*-------------------------- *

*Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.
Proceeds will be used to cripple children. *

*-------------------------- *

*The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and
gracious hostility.. *

*-------------------------- *

*Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow. *

*-------------------------- *

*The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be
seen in the basement on Friday afternoon. *

*-------------------------- *

*This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from
the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. *

*-------------------------- *

*Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All ladies are
invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done. *

*-------------------------- *

*The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would
lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday. *

*-------------------------- *

*Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the
back door. *

*-------------------------- *

*The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church
basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this
tragedy. *

*-------------------------- *

*Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. *

*Please use large double door at the side entrance. *

*-------------------------- *

*The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last
Sunday:"I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours **."*