[nfb-talk] what sometimes happens to new federationists

T. Joseph Carter carter.tjoseph at gmail.com
Mon Apr 25 03:08:58 UTC 2011


Sherri,

I've come to think that there are perhaps several stages of 
acceptance people go through.  It seems that first you get a grudging 
acceptance.  So you're blind, you will manage.  You hate it, and you 
want it not to be so, but your life is going to continue regardless 
of whether or not you can see it.

Then you get to the point of militancy.  Nobody had better dare ever 
even try to offer you assistance.  You can't accept anything from 
anyone because it might allow people to suspect that there's 
something you can't do yourself.  And maybe, they're right.  Oh, you 
won't say that out loud, and possibly you won't even admit that to 
yourself, but you are afraid it might be true nonetheless.

Then, somewhere along the line, you stop caring what other people 
think.  You know what you can do, and you have a pretty good idea 
about what you probably could figure out how to do if you ever had 
to.  It doesn't matter if someone does something for you anymore, 
because you can do it yourself.  You know it, so who cares what 
anyone else thinks?

Joseph

On Sun, Apr 24, 2011 at 11:51:43AM -0400, Sherri wrote:
>Ray I totally agree with you. When I first joined the NFB,  way back 
>in ancient times, I was I would say militant. I took my straight cane 
>"everywhere" got on and off planes before anyone else and basically 
>refused any help. I thought that to truly embrace the philosophy of 
>the NFB meant to decline any kind of help from anyone. Several years 
>later, I read The Nature of Independence by Dr. Jernigan. It changed 
>how I felt about NFB and about blindness and the way I acted toward 
>others. I have a much more "fair and balanced" attitude about 
>blindness today.
>
>Sherri
>
>Please check out the link below and help blind people in your local 
>area achieve their dreams by visiting
>http://www.raceforindependence.org/goto/Sherri.Brun
>Thank you.
>
>Character is the side of yourself you choose to show the world. 
>Integrity is what you do, what you say and how you act when you think 
>no one is paying attention.
>Sherri Brun
>flmom2006 at gmail.com
>
>----- Original Message ----- From: "Ray Foret Jr" <rforetjr at att.net>
>To: "Jeanette Fortin" <jeanette at fortin-home.com>; "NFB Talk Mailing 
>List" <nfb-talk at nfbnet.org>
>Sent: Sunday, April 24, 2011 12:47 AM
>Subject: [nfb-talk] what sometimes happens to new federationists
>
>
>>
>>Okay.  Perhaps it is time to change the subject line.
>>
>>Jeanette, in your message, you say, in part, "instead of being 
>>happy for folks who have the opportunity to gain vision it seems 
>>sometimes folks are angry about  it acting like it is a slam to 
>>blind folks".
>>
>>Aint that the truth.  To speak frankly, I think it's the 
>>consequence of missplaced anger.  That's the very same missplaced 
>>anger that makes some federationists say that blind people, (or 
>>sighted for that matter) shouldn't laugh at anything blindness 
>>related.  Shouldn't laugh?  That's not normal; and, that's another 
>>discussion too.  It's one I tried to start some time back; but, as 
>>I recall, no one wanted to touch the subject. Don't know why.
>>
>>Well, let's be honest with ourselves and each other shall we?  The 
>>simple truth is this.  When some people, (not all mind you), find 
>>the federation, they are so relieved, they begin eating, sleeping 
>>and breathing it.  The federation becomes the very defenition of 
>>their lives.  They take themselves so seriously that they lash out 
>>at anyone who doesn't immediately adopt their thinking.  Those poor 
>>souls who get the short end of that stick realize how much the 
>>blind person in question has changed and no longer want anything to 
>>do with them.  So, what happens is that they then break off.  
>>That's how new federationist tend to lose friends. I know.  I saw 
>>it happen.  It almost happened to me that way.  Then, what tends to 
>>happen with the new federationist is that they get angry because 
>>the world doesn't understand things the way they do.  Mind you, not 
>>every new federationist goes through this; but, some do.  This 
>>anger becomes badkly misplaced and they take themselves so 
>>seriously that nobody wants even to be around them anymore.
>>Sincerely,
>>The Constantly Barefooted Ray!!!
>>
>>Now a very proud and happy Mac user!!!
>>Skype name:
>>barefootedray
>>
>>Facebook:
>>facebook.com/ray.foretjr.1
>>
>>On Apr 23, 2011, at 5:49 PM, Jeanette Fortin wrote:
>>
>>>instead of being happy for folks who have the opportunity to gain 
>>>vision it seems sometimes folks are angry about  it acting like 
>>>it is a slam to blind folks
>>
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>>
>
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