[Nfbf-l] Fw: Retirement Plan

Tue Mar 6 17:12:42 UTC 2012

Hi guys.

Heres something I found amusing, and thought I would pass it along.  

I haven't done the math myself, but when you think about it, there just might be some truth to this!

----- Original Message ----- 
Sent: Tuesday, March 06, 2012 11:49 AM
Subject: Retirement Plan

              No nursing home for us. We'll be checking into a Holiday Inn!

              With the average cost for a nursing home care costing $188.00 per day, there is a better way when we get old and too feeble. 

              I've already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn.

              For a combined long term stay discount and senior discount, it's $59.23 per night.

              Breakfast is included, and some have happy hours in the afternoon.

              That leaves $128.77 a day for lunch and dinner in any restaurant we want, or room service, laundry, gratuities and 
              special TV movies.

              Plus, they provide a spa, swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge and washer-dryer, etc.

              Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.
              $5 worth of tips a day you'll have the entire staff scrambling to help you.

              They treat you like a customer, not a patient.

              There's a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free.

              The handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp).

              To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays.

              For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there.

              While you're at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.

              It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today.And you're not stuck in one place forever -- you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city.

              Want to see Hawaii? They have Holiday Inn there too.

              TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem.. They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience.

              The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you are ok. If not, they'll call 
              an ambulance . . . or the undertaker. If you 
              fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life. 

              And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days 
              mini-vacation.

              The grandkids can use the pool. What more could I ask 
              for?

              So, when we reach that golden age, we'll face it with a grin.

              AIDS WARNING!

              To all of you approaching 60 or have REACHED 60 and past, this email is especially for you......

              SENIOR CITIZENS
              ARE THE NATION'S LEADING CARRIERS OF AIDS!

              HEARING AIDS

              BAND AIDS

              ROLL AIDS

              WALKING AIDS 

              MEDICAL AIDS

              GOVERNMENT AIDS

              MOST OF ALL,

              MONETARY AID TO THEIR KIDS!

              Not forgetting HIV

              (Hair is Vanishing)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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