[nobe-l] New THOUGHT PROVOKER #147- Don't Look

Beth thebluesisloose at gmail.com
Wed Jul 1 11:57:31 UTC 2009

I love this provoker.  I sometimes have to deal with an impatient mom,
but I find my dad to be pretty patient.  But working with boh parents
is kind of fun when it comes to cooking.  But I do't get to do outings
much because there is no chapter of NOBPC here in Brevard County
Florida.  We just have FFCVI, and Mom probably doesn't join it much
because I'm too old or something.  That's all.  And even then, my poor
mom and I are never patient with each other in the kitchen, but
patience I have learned is important.  Looking is fine when you
absolutely can't find something, but my mom's advice is: it'll trn up.

On 6/29/09, Robert Newman <newmanrl at cox.net> wrote:
> Educators Members
> RE:  Don't Look
> I bet in your profession that there will be times you will run across a
> parent-student relationship that will have the dynamic of the adult being
> over protective. What advice or tactic works to make this a healthy thing?
> If you have not read the PROVOKER, it follows.  Recall that I collect
> responses and post them upon my web site for all the WWW to read and learn
> from and that URL is- Http://thoughtprovoker.info
> <http://thoughtprovoker.info/>   If you wish to receive THOUGHT PROVOKERS
> sent directly to you, just write me and ask, at-  newmanrl at cox.net
> Don't Look
>  "Ohhh." a faint cry of concern squeezed out from where Meagan pressed the
> back of her hand against her mouth. Sitting at the kitchen table, she
> watched her ten year old blind daughter, Carrie standing at the stove with
> her Rehabilitation Teacher, learning to fry her first pancake. Meagan
> couldn't stand it, her remaining hand flew up to cover her eyes (one bright
> green pupil peeking through parted fingers).
>  "I think it's ready to turn over --- it slides when I touch it with the
> spatula." Carrie's tone suggesting both self-talk and an open question to
> the adult at her side.
> Pam responded with a question. "What do you think? How might you tell?"
> "Well, it's all one piece and --- when I put the spatula just a little under
> it, it has that special feel of not bending --- if I can catch up with it
> again." The sounds of a spatula tapping and scraping sounded as the young
> cook worked to flip the cake over, before it burned.
> "You're doing great." Pam's calming voice was intended for both Carrie and
> Meagan. She wasn't worried about her student. However in working with this
> family, it hadn't taken long to recognize the over protectiveness of the
> mother. And from the get-go, she had encouraged Meagan to be an observer of
> all lessons; though she hadn't yet noticed any major revelation on Meagan's
> part that blindness in and of itself wasn't a major handicapping feature to
> Carrie's abilities.
> Meagan, still tense, sat as quietly as she could. It always took an effort
> to not step in and help her daughter; watching Carrie searching for things
> or hesitating or fumbling with something new always pulled Meagan's
> heartstrings. Having Pam come in once a week to work with Carrie had been a
> solution to a problem that Meagan hadn't thought could be answered, until
> she had joined a parents group and learned that there were professionals who
> could teach independent living skills.
> Later, cooking and follow-up cleaning successfully completed, teacher gone,
> the exultant Carrie was in her room looking for an outfit that she would
> wear the next day for a special outing. "Oh fudge buckets --- where did that
> new top go?" She hurriedly fingered one hanging garment after another,
> sliding them sharply to the side, reaching for the next.
> "Darling, here, let me help you." Meagan stood behind her daughter, reaching
> out. "Is it the fuzzy purple with the square buttons, that you want?"
> "Mom, please. I can find it."
> "Oh I know, darling. I'll just be faster."
> "Mom! Pam wants me to practice more, doing stuff for myself. Okay."
> "Oh --- you're right. I'll go and start supper. So if you need me, yell."
> Meagan walked out of the room, making a show of leaving. However, she
> silently paused, aligning one eye to peek around the corner of the open
> doorway.
> The next day- "Meagan, hi, coming in?" Said the woman walking up to where
> Meagan stood waiting and watching at the corner of a lighted, moderately
> busy intersection. Melinda and Meagan were both members of a local chapter
> of Parents of blind children. The parents had agreed to wait for their
> children in side a coffee shop across the street from where the kids were to
> be dropped off. The idea being, the students would de-bus, cross the street,
> find the shop, come in and find their parent.
> "Oh --- I'll be in before they get to the shop --- I just worry --- oh, it's
> silly." Meagan knew her answer hadn't come across well; it hadn't even made
> her, feel better.
> "Meagan," said Melinda, lightly touching her friend's arm. "The kids will be
> fine. They've had training. These outings are to give them experience and as
> they work to learn and perfect their blindness skills, they will struggle.
> It's how all of us learn." Pausing, reflecting, Melinda finished with,
> "Meagan, may I share with you the best piece of advice I have ever been
> given?"
> Seeing the acceptance, the need in Meagan's eyes, Melinda said, "It was ---
> don't look."
> Robert Leslie Newman
> Email- newmanrl at cox.net
> Http://www.thoughtprovoker.info
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