[Oagdu] {Disarmed} Fwd: [seeing-eye-cafe] on the lighter side: Rules for dogs!

Thu May 28 12:23:01 UTC 2015

Aleeha,
Very cute! Thanks for sharing!
Deanna

From: Oagdu [mailto:oagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Aleeha Dudley via Oagdu
Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2015 5:06 PM
To: Ohio Association of Guide Dog Users List
Cc: blindcowgirl1993 at gmail.com
Subject: [Oagdu] {Disarmed} Fwd: [seeing-eye-cafe] on the lighter side: Rules for dogs!

Sent from my iPhone

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From: "'Phyllis Stevens' catlady1949 at charter.net<mailto:catlady1949 at charter.net> [seeing-eye-cafe]" <seeing-eye-cafe at yahoogroups.com<mailto:seeing-eye-cafe at yahoogroups.com>>
Date: May 27, 2015 at 4:23:34 PM EDT
To: <seeing-eye-cafe at yahoogroups.com<mailto:seeing-eye-cafe at yahoogroups.com>>
Subject: [seeing-eye-cafe] on the lighter side:  Rules for dogs!
Reply-To: seeing-eye-cafe at yahoogroups.com<mailto:seeing-eye-cafe at yahoogroups.com>

NEWSPAPERS: If you have to go to the bathroom while playing in the front
yard, always use the newspaper that's placed in the driveway every morning
for that purpose.

VISITORS: Quickly determine which guest is afraid of dogs. Charge across the
room barking loudly and leap playfully on this person. If the human falls
down on the floor and starts crying, lick its face and growl gently to show
your concern.

BARKING: Because you are a dog, you are expected to bark. So bark -- a lot.
Your owners will be very happy to hear you protecting their house.
Especially late at night while they are sleeping safely in their beds. There
is no more secure feeling for a human than to keep waking up in the middle
of the night to the tune of your protective bark, bark, bark...

LICKING: Always take a BIG drink from your water dish immediately before
licking your human. Humans prefer clean tongues. Be ready to fetch your
human a towel.

HOLES: There are never enough holes in the ground. Strive daily to do your
part to correct this situation. But rather than digging a BIG hole in the
middle of the yard and upsetting your human, dig a lot of smaller holes all
over the yard so they won't notice. If you arrange a little pile of dirt on
one side of each hole, maybe they'll blame the gophers.

DOORS: The area directly in front of a door is always reserved for the
family dog to sleep.

THE ART OF SNIFFING: Humans like to be sniffed. Everywhere.  It is your
duty, as the family dog, to accommodate them.

DINING ETIQUETTE: Always sit under the table at dinner, especially when
there are guests, so you can clean up any food that falls on the floor. It's
also a good time to practice your sniffing.

HOUSEBREAKING: Housebreaking is very important to humans, so break as much
of the house as possible.

GOING FOR WALKS: Never go to the bathroom on your own lawn.

COUCHES: It is perfectly permissible to lie on the new couch once your
humans have gone to bed.

PLAYING: If you lose your footing while chasing a ball or stick, use the
flower bed to absorb your fall so you don't injure yourself.

CHASING CATS: When chasing cats, make sure you never quite catch them. It
spoils all the fun.

CHEWING: Make a contribution to the fashion industry: Eat a shoe.

***

Of course, Seeing Eye dogs don’t do these things!!!

"Prowling his own quiet backyard or asleep by the fire, he is still
only a whisker away from the wilds."
--Jean Burden, CELEBRATION OF CATS

Phyllis Stevens
And Ethan,
and his kitties, Simon And Sarah

catlady1949 at charter.net<mailto:catlady1949 at charter.net>
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