[Oagdu] {Disarmed} Fwd: [seeing-eye-cafe] on the lighter side: Rules for dogs!

[blindcowgirl1993 at gmail.com]

Sent from my iPhone

Begin forwarded message:

> From: "'Phyllis Stevens' catlady1949 at charter.net [seeing-eye-cafe]" <seeing-eye-cafe at yahoogroups.com>
> Date: May 27, 2015 at 4:23:34 PM EDT
> To: <seeing-eye-cafe at yahoogroups.com>
> Subject: [seeing-eye-cafe] on the lighter side:  Rules for dogs!
> Reply-To: seeing-eye-cafe at yahoogroups.com
> 
> NEWSPAPERS: If you have to go to the bathroom while playing in the front
> yard, always use the newspaper that's placed in the driveway every morning
> for that purpose.
> 
> VISITORS: Quickly determine which guest is afraid of dogs. Charge across the
> room barking loudly and leap playfully on this person. If the human falls
> down on the floor and starts crying, lick its face and growl gently to show
> your concern.
> 
> BARKING: Because you are a dog, you are expected to bark. So bark -- a lot.
> Your owners will be very happy to hear you protecting their house.
> Especially late at night while they are sleeping safely in their beds. There
> is no more secure feeling for a human than to keep waking up in the middle
> of the night to the tune of your protective bark, bark, bark...
> 
> LICKING: Always take a BIG drink from your water dish immediately before
> licking your human. Humans prefer clean tongues. Be ready to fetch your
> human a towel.
> 
> HOLES: There are never enough holes in the ground. Strive daily to do your
> part to correct this situation. But rather than digging a BIG hole in the
> middle of the yard and upsetting your human, dig a lot of smaller holes all
> over the yard so they won't notice. If you arrange a little pile of dirt on
> one side of each hole, maybe they'll blame the gophers.
> 
> DOORS: The area directly in front of a door is always reserved for the
> family dog to sleep.
> 
> THE ART OF SNIFFING: Humans like to be sniffed. Everywhere.  It is your
> duty, as the family dog, to accommodate them.
> 
> DINING ETIQUETTE: Always sit under the table at dinner, especially when
> there are guests, so you can clean up any food that falls on the floor. It's
> also a good time to practice your sniffing.
> 
> HOUSEBREAKING: Housebreaking is very important to humans, so break as much
> of the house as possible.
> 
> GOING FOR WALKS: Never go to the bathroom on your own lawn.
> 
> COUCHES: It is perfectly permissible to lie on the new couch once your
> humans have gone to bed.
> 
> PLAYING: If you lose your footing while chasing a ball or stick, use the
> flower bed to absorb your fall so you don't injure yourself.
> 
> CHASING CATS: When chasing cats, make sure you never quite catch them. It
> spoils all the fun.
> 
> CHEWING: Make a contribution to the fashion industry: Eat a shoe.
> 
> ***
>  
> Of course, Seeing Eye dogs don’t do these things!!!
> 
> "Prowling his own quiet backyard or asleep by the fire, he is still
> only a whisker away from the wilds."
> --Jean Burden, CELEBRATION OF CATS
> 
> Phyllis Stevens
> And Ethan,
> and his kitties, Simon And Sarah
> 
> catlady1949 at charter.net
> __._,_.___
> Posted by: "Phyllis Stevens" <catlady1949 at charter.net>
> Reply via web post	•	Reply to sender	•	Reply to group	•	Start a New Topic	•	Messages in this topic (1)
> VISIT YOUR GROUP
> • Privacy • Unsubscribe • Terms of Use 
> .
>  
> 
> __,_._,___
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://nfbnet.org/pipermail/oagdu_nfbnet.org/attachments/20150527/dbeec032/attachment.html>