[Oagdu] Humor for blind people

Tue Nov 24 02:42:25 UTC 2015

I copied this from a Facebook group for people who have retinitis
pigmentosa.  The blind people thought this was very funny and the
sighted people were totally offended by it.  I could certainly relate
to every one of these items.

On 11/23/15, Angel via Oagdu <oagdu at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> I love these.  I shall surely save them, and pass them around to my friends.
> Thanks for sending them.
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Marianne Denning via Oagdu" <oagdu at nfbnet.org>
> To: "Angelena Ruskin" <ruskin.angelena at wintonwoods.org>; "Chris Tolle"
> <tollebooth at gmail.com>; "Dale Lieser" <dale.lieser at gmail.com>; "Dan
> Schoenharl" <dschoenharl at yahoo.com>; "Eizyk, Shelly"
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> "Heather Pedersen" <hpedersen at keystonelearning.org>; "Hyesook Cho"
> <sdhyesook at yahoo.com>; "J. Linder" <jillandjohn at columbus.rr.com>;
> <jennifer.holladay at cincyblind.org>; <jhunter1220 at comcast.net>;
> <jimmie at denningweb.com>; "Karen Schoenharl" <schoenharl23 at gmail.com>;
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> <Patty.Zallar at etf.state.wi.us>
> Cc: "Marianne Denning" <marianne at denningweb.com>
> Sent: Monday, November 23, 2015 1:16 PM
> Subject: [Oagdu] Humor for blind people
>
>
>> These are all the things I want to say but know it would not be
>> appropriate in most situations.  Enjoy!
>>
>> 17 Easy Ways To Make A Blind Person’s Day
>>
>> 1. When introducing yourself, use loud, exaggerated speech. Since
>> we’re blind, it’s safe to assume we’re a little dim, too.
>> 2. Don’t speak directly to us. It’s always best to talk over our heads
>> like we’re not there at all, especially if you are offering a service.
>> Example:
>> “What would she like to order?” Be sure to ignore our attempts to
>> answer for ourselves.
>> 3. Grab or otherwise manipulate our bodies whenever and wherever you
>> deem necessary. For example, if you intuitively perceive that we’re
>> going the wrong
>> way (even if you haven’t asked where that is) just snatch the nearest
>> limb and lead on, Macduff!
>> 4. If you aren’t in a position to grab us, you can always shout
>> instructions in the hope that we’ll know what you’re talking about. If
>> we look baffled,
>> just keep repeating the instructions in an increasingly frantic tone.
>> We’ll clue in eventually.
>> 5. Remind us often how grateful we should be that people are willing
>> to provide accommodations for us. While it’s unlikely that we will
>> ever, ever forget
>> this for more than five minutes at a time, it’s a good idea to slam
>> the thought home when we’re not expecting it. It builds character.
>> 6. Stage loud conversations about us while we’re in the room, because
>> we won’t hear. If we hear, it’s okay, because we won’t understand. If
>> we understand,
>> it’s okay, because we won’t care.
>> 7. Keep all conversation firmly focused on blindness. If we try to
>> interject by discussing our education or interests, just redirect us.
>> We get carried
>> away trying to be all normal, so it’s helpful to keep us on track!
>> 8. Be sure to describe all the other blind people you’ve ever met, in
>> extravagant detail. We couldn’t be more fascinated by that blind guy
>> who skied, and
>> that other blind guy who went to school with you, and that blind girl
>> you met on the train once—the one with the cute puppy…
>> 9. Make a habit of asking us why we’re “here”. If we’re on the bus,
>> ask us why we’re out alone. If we’re at work, ask us how we got the
>> job. If we’re in
>> class, ask us why we’re in university. If we seem offended, ignore us:
>> deep down inside, we really enjoy presumptuous interrogation!
>> 10. Dispense advice about how we should live our lives; the less you
>> know us, the more valuable your feedback will be. If you need a good
>> starting point,
>> you can begin by analyzing our mobility tool of choice (cane or dog)
>> and emphatically demanding that we switch. We love that.
>> 11. Involve yourself in our love lives, specifying exactly the type of
>> person we should date and why. If you think we should date a sighted
>> person because
>> they’ll be able to take care of us, we’ll want to hear all about it.
>> If you think we should date a blind person because we should “stick to
>> our own kind”
>> we will be all ears!
>> 12. Give us things—money, coupons, whatever—because you pity us and
>> want to make our day better. Don’t be phased by any apparent
>> expressions of confusion.
>> (“Oh, that’s just my gratitude face!”)
>> 13. Stop us on the street and thank whomever we’re with for
>> helping/taking care of/being so kind to us. It’s not as though we have
>> real friends who genuinely
>> enjoy our company. No: if we’re out with a sighted person, they are
>> fulfilling a purely charitable role. They will appreciate your praise,
>> and we will
>> feel extra extra grateful!
>> 14. Place your hands on us in any public place and pray. If we gently
>> explain that we don’t want to be prayed for, rest assured that it’s
>> just the secular
>> cynicism doing the talking. When our sight is miraculously restored,
>> you’ll be the first to know.
>> 15. Make as many potentially dangerous practical jokes as you can
>> think of. A few good ideas include warning us of imaginary obstacles
>> (“Watch out for
>> that tree-just kidding!”), concealing our possessions, and encouraging
>> us to “find” you while you run gleefully around us in circles. These
>> were a staple
>> of primary school, and I treasure many pleasant memories from that
>> era. Do me a favour, and bring back the nostalgia!
>> 16. Refer to us as “that blind person” even after you know our names.
>> Blindness is so integral to our identities that our names are really
>> just decorative,
>> so there’s no need to remember or use them. If we fail to answer to
>> “Hey, blind girl/guy!” just keep trying. We’ll learn to love it.
>> 17. Assume that our default status is “Help!” If we reassure you that
>> we’re okay, thanks, don’t fall for it. Insisting upon rescuing us
>> every time we cross
>> paths places us into a position of dependence, which is exactly where we
>> belong.
>>
>>
>>
>> --
>> Marianne Denning, TVI, MA
>> Teacher of students who are blind or visually impaired
>> (513) 607-6053
>>
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>
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-- 
Marianne Denning, TVI, MA
Teacher of students who are blind or visually impaired
(513) 607-6053