[Ohio-talk] Dumber than a Box of Oreos

[meandthedog at oberlin.net]

Hi Kaiti. Your story was to long. I have a guide dog. So as a cain user
you May think I am not
independent enough. Well MS. Pe and I do quite well. I don't want to click
my way around any
store.
I love Trader Jo's and I find my way around there very well.
I do not feel that sighted people are all mis-informed.We need to be polite
and teach them with our aids, "Cains and Guide dogs." that we are good
customers
and able to enjoy our lives.
I am going blind and will probably loose my eye site.
My mentor is the best. i live in Oberlin center of the universe, and my
teacher has been Barbara P. a real independent, but very social able woman.
Let's watch our attitude. Positive thinking and behavior are the
If we truly believe that blindness is a nuisance and that we can reach our
gaols
we can smile and go on in dignity.
\winners.
Megan and Pep






> Hi all,
>
> I've been thinking about society's perceptions of blind people a lot
> this week, especially with the release of the podcast on NPR featuring
> Daniel Kish.  I've kept up with the musings of White Cane Guy on this
> list, and had a similar experience yesterday morning.  Coming back
> from my destination, I'll admit I was a little fed up with the sighted
> humanity around me, but after telling the story to a friend and my
> roommates, I've come to put a positive (and funny) spin on the
> problem.  One roommate suggest I turn it into a comedy skit and title
> it "Dumber Than a Box of Oreos."  I don't think Comedy Central is in
> my future, but this is also the roommate who I joke with about driving
> a car.  She and I have a teasing relationship (she'll tell one of our
> other friends that it's my turn to drive her home, and I used to tease
> her for leaving the crutches she used for a few weeks due to a foot
> injury around the house by calling out for "Tiny Tim" to come get her
> crutch whenever I knocked one over.
>
> Anyway, here's the story.  I decided earlier this week that I needed
> to pick up some groceries and that I would go to Meijer instead of the
> Kroger near my campus because I haven't been impressed with the
> produce there the last few times I've gone.  I also was really happy
> to figure out that a Meijer was near by because I used to have to go
> to Kroger for groceries and Wal-Mart for other things.  The
> super-store was just easier in general, and since my family shops at
> Meijer more often than not at home I understood the layout of the
> store better.
> I take para-transit to the Meijer and find the customer service desk.
> This was my first clue that most of the staff was older and not used
> to seeing customers with disabilities, or at least customers who are
> blind.  I got to the customer service desk and asked for some shopping
> assistance.  The woman informed me that it would be about a 10 minute
> wait, which seemed odd.  I didn't necessarily mind it, but from
> shopping on my own in the past and working as a receptionist doing
> customer service kind of work, I know you're not supposed to just say,
> "We'll get to you in ten minutes."  She asked if she could take me
> over by the bank to sit down, and I said I didn't mind waiting there.
> I didn't want to go quietly sit and have her forget about me.  Sure
> enough, as soon as I took a few steps away from the desk and assured
> her that I didn't mind standing she started calling employees to come
> help me shop.  She called one guy in particular, and after a few calls
> she managed to get him up to customer service.  He was an older man,
> probably in his late 50s or 60s, and he seemed pleasant enough.
>
> The interactions I had with this man were some of the weirdest I've
> had.  IT started normal enough.  He assumed I needed more help than I
> did, so I politely told him I'd follow him and didn't need to be
> pulled by the arm through the store or given directions every time we
> made a turn.  He asked if I needed a cart and I replied that a basket
> should do since I had a fairly small list.  We get over by the cart
> chorale, and he asks me again if I need one.  I repeat that a basket
> should work fine, but he says, "We'll use a walking one anyway."  This
> would turn into a point of hilarity for my roommate I joke with, who
> is now coming up with random literal names for household objects to go
> along with "walking basket."  E.G, Scissors are now "Cutting
> implements."  I didn't fight him on this; I had a deadline to get my
> shopping done so I could catch my next ride, so if he wanted to use a
> walking basket instead of a normal basket, that was fine by me even if
> he really didn't take my choices as the customer into consideration
> for whatever reason.
>
> We start off in produce, and when I ask if there happen to be any
> cherries in stock he just walks off, leaving me and the cart by the
> apples while he goes and checks.  I was a little irked by this, since
> usually my shopping assistants have just had me go with them so I
> could pick the kind of grocery I want if it is indeed there.  The man
> comes back and announces that there aren't any cherries.  Figuring
> that they're just not in season right now, I move on to the next item
> on my list which is salad.  I'm a very detailed shopper and know the
> brands, basic descriptors of the packaging, and the general price
> range for each product I buy.  I describe my usual salad for him and
> he goes off on a wild goose chase along the wall of packaged
> vegitables looking for it.  Even by telling him the brand he finds
> himself looking in other areas.  I have to remind him, "I thought you
> said all the Dole groceries were around where I'm standing?," and he
> comes back towards me.  We finally find the salad and toss it into the
> walking basket.
>
> This kind of incident repeats itself over and over again in the pasta
> aisle, in the dairy section when I'm trying to get some cheese, and
> when I ask him to read the expiration date on a package of ham he just
> couldn't seem to find it and needed to call someone else.  When I ask
> for Townhouse Crackers in the cracker aisle the guy misses them at the
> head of the aisle, and continues down to where the cookies are.  When
> he announces that there are oreos available, I decide to get some even
> though they aren't on my list.  Oreos are a big thing in my
> fraternity's house, so I decide to grab a box for the roommates and I
> to share.  the man tells me to give him my hand.  I offer it to him
> palm up in anticipation for the pack of Oreos to be handed to me since
> I'm closer to the cart.  He takes me by the wrist, flips my hand over,
> and sticks it on top of the Oreo package.  With my fingers over the
> little pull tab used to open the top of the package he informs me,
> "This is how you open it."
>
> It shocked me for a good ten minutes that this man was so blatantly
> disrespectful.  I was not an equal, I was like a small child who he
> felt needed to be taught even though in my opinion I was the more
> capable one of the two of us based on his shopping skills.  Somehow I
> had the gumption to strategically organize my own transportation for
> 8:00 AM on a Saturday morning when the store would be less crowded,
> plan out a list of what I needed in advance and have the money to pay
> for the groceries, but it was just unimaginable to this man that a
> 21-year-old blind woman had ever encountered a box of Oreos in her
> life, let alone have the knowledge to know how to open them.
>
> I tried to think of things from his perspective and find other
> possible explanations.  I wondered if the man had an intellectual
> disability, so I started making small talk as we were walking between
> aisles to find items.  Although I cannot be certain of anything, he
> did not appear to have any intellectual disabilities based on our
> conversations.  He chatted with me about football, about the weather,
> and even responded naturally when I said that I went to UD.  The funny
> thing was that he asked me how often I get out and shop, and I
> answered "Every 2 weeks."  I was hoping that maybe the man was getting
> the picture that I was more capable than he thought, but we had our
> last incident that seemed to prove otherwise.
>
> Since coming back to school there have been little viruses floating
> around campus.  I caught a 24 hour stomach bug at the end of week one,
> and caught a virus with flu-like symptoms right after that.  I decided
> to start taking Airborn, which most of you have probably heard
> commercials for.  I tell him that Airborn is the last item on my list
> when we pick up a box of tissues in the cleaning section, and he takes
> me just next door to another aisle.  When he starts announcing air
> fresheners like Glade and Fabreeze, I recognize the problem and tell
> him that we're in the wrong aisle.  I was a little irked because
> several times before when I read off my list so he could judge which
> items were closest to us in the store I simply referred to Airborn as
> "Medicine."  I thought he had been listening to me, which is why when
> we were going to specifically look for the item I became more specific
> and started providing details.  He stops another employee to ask where
> the aisle we need is, and then we set off.  He starts looking for it
> at one end of the aisle where all the childrens medicines are.  He
> slowly makes his way toward me where he left the walking basket in the
> middle of the aisle, and announces, "There's childrens Airborn," as if
> that is what I'm looking for.  I tell him I'll need the adult
> strength, and he continues down the aisle, slowly looking for it.  He
> says, "Well, the children's one was in a bottle, so I'm looking for a
> bottle."  I say, "I've had it before, I don't think it is," but he
> keeps going as if he didn't hear me.  Finally, a fellow shopper points
> it out to him and he says, "Oh, it's in a box," as if there is reason
> for surprise.  Grateful to have someone willing to talk to me
> normally, I ask the woman if that's it.  She says yes, and confirms
> that the chewable tablets are what I'm looking for.  She hands me the
> box, sees my nose red from tissue rash and makes a recommendation for
> another immune booster I can also take with Airborn.  We have a brief
> conversation about that and how her daughter started taking it before
> a study abroad trip, I tell her about Jamaica and she recommends that
> I take the other medication regardless of whether or not I feel sick
> before flying to Jamaica because it seemed to work well for her
> daughter, and we wish each other a good day.
>
> We go to check out and instead of going to a staffed checkout line the
> man takes me through self-checkout, which I don't like.  I start
> searching for the bar code label on a bottle of salsa verde, and he
> just takes it from me as if I were handing it to him so he could swipe
> it.  I had no independence as far as this man was concerned, and all
> the times I had said I could do this or that without assistance didn't
> seem to sink in.  All I needed was someone to read and find things so
> I could quickly and efficiently get my shopping done, but this
> shopping trip with a shorter list than usual took almost 30 minutes
> more than it takes for me to shop with a usual list.  And just when I
> felt like I couldn't stand to not be more forceful with this guy, I
> really couldn't because even if I scanned and bagged all my things
> myself, I'd need him to reliably tell me my totals and read the credit
> card scanner.  Since there is still time before my bus pick up, I
> decide to go sit on a bench in the front of a store to wait.  I'm
> there for about 20 minutes before the man comes by again and appears
> to be checking on me.  It's a gesture that usually I appreciate,
> sometimes random people in Kroger will ask if I'm waiting for someone
> just out of curiosity or lack of knowledge about how para-transit
> works, but I had had enough with this man.  I tell him I'm fine and
> somehow manage to still be polite.  He tells me a bus is outside, and
> I dismiss it.  My ride isn't supposed to be here at least for another
> 5 minutes, it's still 15 minutes before the scheduled time and RTA's
> window starts 10 minutes before, it must be for someone else as well
> and they're going to get them.  Then the man asks how will I know when
> my bus comes or if that one might also have me on it, and I say, "I
> don't know, but I'll go outside and check."  I gather up my groceries.
> I've thought ahead here too, and have a backpack with two bags of
> canned stuff on my back.  The load in my hands is perfectly manageable
> even with a cane, so I start picking everything up.  He tries to grab
> a bag and my pitcher of iced tea from me, but I tell him "No thanks,
> I've got it."  He starts to say, "But," and I reply, "No, I really do
> have it."  I follow the driver outside and get onto the bus.  I pay
> for my fare and sit down.  We get back to my house, and by this point
> I've had 15 minutes to brood on that last encounter.
>
> I will confess that I might have taken out some of my frustration on
> the RTA driver.  My street is one way, and he was going to pull down
> it, turn around in a nearby parking lot on campus, and come back down
> it the wrong way so the door could be facing my house.  I know this is
> an RTA rule, but it's one of many I find ridiculous for those who do
> not have mobility impairments that prevent us from crossing a street
> and walking a few more yards to our doors.  I tell him I can get off
> here, and assure him when I say that it is fine.  He too offers to to
> walk me to my door and carry my groceries.  I tell him as well that
> I've got my bags under control, but he stands up to take some of them
> anyway.  I still kept a civil tone, but I told him again, "I really am
> fine.  I'm used to carrying my own things."  I get off the bus, cross
> the street, walk up to my front door, and go inside.  While this was
> happening I was almost offended that the driver seemed offended that I
> had refused his help.  It bothered me that people on RTA and in Meijer
> seemed to think that if they offered help I as a blind person was
> obligated to be passive and take it.   I am by no means above asking
> for help (I did take para-transit and ask for shopping assistance
> after all), but this brand of help was overbearing and unwanted.
>
> I was feeling really crumudgeonly about the whole morning by that
> time, and told a friend who was over about the event.  Thankfully, she
> was able to see the funny side of the situation, which helped me to
> see it too.  We made fun of it.  I grabbed the box of Oreos from the
> table as I was putting everything away and demonstrated for her that I
> could indeed open a box of Oreos.  She feigned astonishment, and
> asked, "But, do you know how to pick up an Oreo.?"  I pretended to be
> stunned and struggle with this concept for a few seconds before
> popping an Oreo into my mouth.  "There you go!," she praised as if I
> were a dog.  Later I told my roommate that I tease with, and after she
> laughed about the walking basket incident and the oOreos she said,
> "That's ridiculous.  You should just tell us whenever you want to go
> to Meijer from now on.  There's no point in doing something by
> yourself if they won't let you do it by yourself."
>
> There is a point to it though.  It does seem pointless sometimes when
> society is as dense as it sometimes can be, but that's what we're all
> about.  We need to take the perceptions that blind people are
> helpless, foreign, or too incompetent to open a box of Oreos and
> change them so that people know that blind people can be independent
> and capable.  If it is so unfathomable that a blind person cannot
> function in a grocery store to the employees at Meijer, then I guess
> I'll just have to teach them otherwise.  I know that the employees at
> Kroger have seen other blind customers and assisted them in shopping,
> so maybe my positive interactions there and the negative one I had at
> Meijer have nothing to do with chance, but have everything to do with
> experience and a lack thereof.  I will keep going there, and next time
> I'll plan for a longer shopping time so I can demand to be treated
> like an independent human being if things go awry again.  I won't
> allow myself to be left standing near the apples while the employee
> looks for cherries, and if he's really that bad again I won't hesitate
> to ask for a idifferent shopping assistant.  I'll still go at 8:00 In
> the morning, and I'll speak to a manager of customer service if I need
> to.  I'll remain polite as I did this time, but I won't let the status
> quo stand.  The status quo is what is so hurtful to blind people, and
> as a member of the NFB I want to change what it means to be blind
> --
> Kaiti Shelton
> University of Dayton 2016.
> Music Therapy, Psychology, Philosophy
> President, Ohio Association of Blind Students
> Sigma Alpha Iota-Delta Sigma
>
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